I really want my boyfriend to stay the night here with me once or so, im 20 and live on my own and itd be nice to have him here with me all night at least once..... Just sleeping nothing else, i know for a fact nothing would happen, but is it sin???
2007-07-18 01:28:13 · 22 answers · asked by AAAAA 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Either or, sep beds or the same, adnd how i say i know for a fact that nothing would happen, is that im a very strong person as with my boyfriend, especially him, we have been together for a little whole, and well we still havent kissed, were head over heels for each other, but its him not i with the kissing, he wants his first kiss ever to be with his future wife ( or when he knows for sure the girl he wants to spend his life with ) its just something he has wanted to do, because not many people can say that they saved that for their wife.
2007-07-18 01:43:24 · update #1
The Bible instructs us to avoid all appearances of sin even though it may not be a sin.
2007-07-18 01:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK, now I'm an agnost so I'm probably on the wrong foot to start wth, but tell me this, what exactly is the difference between sex between two people who have all the intentions of getting married, and two people who are married?
Whats so different? Moreover, turn it on it's head.
Whats worse, two adults having sex who love each other, or a husband having sex with a wife who no longer loves him?
Look, you have free will, god gave it to you as a tool for you to use. God is supposedly love yes? You two obviously love each other, so, by his own admission, there sholdn't really be a problem.
And besides, although I think differently, your opinion is god gave you the ability to feel and have emotions, what kind of god gives you these gifts and then tells you you're not supposed to use them?
Have him stay over, and if anything does happen (and you're both ready) then be happy about it.
Irrespective of my views, you control your life, not god. He just gave you the tools to use to get through it.
2007-07-18 01:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by Steven N 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are a few pieces to this puzzle.
First, do you care if it is a sin or not? If I said, "Yes, it's a sin," would you change your actions? It doesn't bother me one way or the other, but if you said no, then unfortunately we're wasting our time answering this question.
Now, if you said, "Yes, I would change," then here are some great starter questions to think about.
1. Sometimes we have to be aware of how our actions and freedom affects others. Although it may be true that you guys wouldn't do anything, but what about all the people you know. You didn't say you were Christian, but assuming at the least that you have a high set of morals, what would this say to your neighbors as your boyfriend leaves in the morning. If I saw that and if most people saw that, you know what they'd think. It could cause someone else to stumble and think you're a hypocrite. It is something to take into consideration.
2. In college I had a bunch of friends who didn't want to kiss until they kissed their wife. Honestly, I think they struggled with physicalness with their girlfriend more than those who did kiss. It seemed like not kissing moved them to move right past the kissing. Maybe that isn't an issue like that, but, can I suggest a different standard than not kissing. Sure, have the standard of not kissing until married. But, the heart of not kissing, is to not do anything past kissing. So, if you really want to make a standard, add on, "We will not have our genitals near each other in any way while laying down together." Also, committ, "I promise that I will never touch the other person's genitals in any way." If you committ to these two standards as fervently as you fight for not kissing, you will not struggle with physicalness.
3. I know that every couple is different. I did not struggle with falling physically with my wife before we were married like other people. I kind of had in my mind that if I ever touched my wife (g/f at the time) in an inappropriate way, lightening would come strike me down. I didn't believe lightening would actually strike me, but just wanted to take it very seriously. We kissed and were fine with that. And we were both pretty good with boundaries. Even though she had roommates I tried to never stay at her house b/c people knew I was a Christian, and I didn't want to hurt anyone. So, you need to be honest about where you are tempted.
4. About sleeping in the same room/ bed. If you guys are dating and remotely attracted to each other, how could you not do anything. In college, I knew of numerous couples that started off that way. They started off with, "We just like to be near each other." But, very very quickly, they stopped talking about their relationship to everyone and went off by themselves and we found out later that it quickly moved into more than just sleeping together. The whole point of dating someone is that you are attracted to them enough that you might want to marry them. And Attraction definitely makes you want to be with them in an intimate way. I would almost propose, if you guys can sleep together for one week with out falling in any way physically, maybe you shouldn't be dating. I knew one friend in college who was close friends with a guy she liked and they slept over and slept together, but nothing ever happened and she later found out he was gay. I highly doubt this will happen to you, but seriously- if you are remotely attacted to your b/f then you should be tempted to be intimate. And being together in as intimate setting as a bed a few times and your barriers will be worn down.
Good luck, as you think through this. I know it's a tough thing. As you can see, in college I've had a lot of friends go a lot of different directions so I'm speaking with a lot of experience on this specific issue.
2007-07-18 02:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by DrThorne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sleeping seperately over is not a sin,however the only sin is in stumbling others into having doubts and wrong thoughts that would follow you down the road.
2007-07-18 01:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by hunter 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is a sin that people are so polluted in the head they have to ask if they should or could do something like this. I have said this before and I will say it again. IT IS 1,000% PERCENT NORMAL TO HAVE AND WANT SEX ALL THE TIME! It is natural. Just be careful about it and have fun. QUIT LIVING TO SOME OTHER PERSONS STANDARD. Dammit just live your life. No regrets. Just do it.
2007-07-18 01:37:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Why give a chance for something to happen? We shouldn't even let it look like we are sinning. 1Th 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. What if a member of your family would see him come in, or maybe a church member or friend. Immediately they are going to think something happened.
2007-07-18 01:34:19 · answer #6 · answered by RB 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are a normal, healthy 20 year old, it would be a sin were he to stay the night and just slept. What a waste!
2007-07-18 01:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by Namlevram 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
...You don't know what will happen. Of course you should not do this - it's a no-brainer; it doesn't take a lot of intelligence to see it might very well lead to fornication.
...Your story reminds me of another story, about a little boy who was told to leave the cookies in the cookie jar alone.
...Later, he was in the kitchen alone and his mother called to him and asked what he was doing.
...With his hand in the cookie jar, he answered, "I'm resisting temptation!"
...You will make a foolish choice to you continue with this foolish idea.
2007-07-18 01:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by carson123 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure someone will say its a sin. But in reality its all about what you want and if nothing goes against your morals then it will not be a sin.
2007-07-18 01:32:08 · answer #9 · answered by John C 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If nothing happens it's not a sin, but it is a big temptation. It's better to just avoid the temptation.
2007-07-18 01:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by Machaira 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋