how long before you should be over a bereavement?

Question

my mum died when i was 15, 4years ago, should i be over it by now?

Answer 1

I would say that you will never get over a loss like that but just may find it a little easier to cope with as time goes by.
Some days or weeks you might feel fine and then out of the blue you might be in tears again.
My nan died 10 years ago and my mum still cries a lot over her.

Answer 2

My mum died when I was 12. I've thought about her at least once a day every day for the last 18 years, and I hope that never changes. You could say in some ways you never fully get over it, but time really does change how you view events.

Memories that upset you now will make you smile in time. Looking at photos might bring a tear to your eye now, but in a few years, you'll look back and think just of the happy memories.

You'll never forget your mum. I'm 31 now, with 2 beautiful boys and a lovely wife. I wish my mum was here to share them with me, and deep down, I know she is, even though I doubted that for most of my teenage years.

My youngest son is 11 weeks old and has a real look of her in his eyes and it really makes me smile.

The grief will pass. There's no time limit on it, but life takes over and the feelings really do subside.

There'll be times when you feel upset, but they get less and less over time. My mum would have been 60 next week, so I'll probably take some time to myself and have a look at a few photos and remember her when she was here and well, but I'll do it with a smile, because I can now.

Keep your chin up.



T

Answer 3

There's no set period of time. Everyone is different, with different circumstances. To have a cry or feel sad when something reminds you of them does not mean you are still in the grieving process. It just means that you loved the person very much and sometimes things come up that remind you of them which makes you feel sad for a while.
Don't let anybody tell you that it's time to move on or that you should be doing this, that or the next thing. You'll know when the time is right.

Answer 4

There is no timetable for grief. You'll get used to her being gone, it will hurt less over time, but you will never really "be over it."

Not what you want to hear, I know. But you will miss her always.
If you find that you are feeling more sad as time goes on, maybe it's time to seek some professional counsel. It's easy to get "stuck" and feel depressed and there's no shame in getting help to get past the rough patches.

My mom died two years ago and I still look to call her on the phone when something good happens. My dad died when I was 23, I am 54, and I miss him to this day. It took a long time for me to not feel overwhelmed with sadness after he died. Like a few years. But over time, it hurt less to think of him not being here.

My advice to you would be to cherish the ones you love while you have them. You learned at a young age that life is fleeting. Celebrate life and find joy in all you do. It would be a great legacy to your mother.

You will get through this, I promise. Have patience with yourself and get the help you need. You're not crazy for feeling like this.
If I can help in any way, email me.

Answer 5

There is no time limit. Give yourself all the time in the world to become accustomed to what has been the worst loss in your life. As time goes on, you will find that you can smile more & have things to feel happy about. Time helps some - but it only helps, it never removes the loss that you've had.
It does' help to be able to cope better though......but it takes a lot of time.

Be patient with yourself sweetheart. I'm so sorry that you've had such an awful blow when you're so young.

Answer 6

Oh honey, no not really. Losing your mum so young would be a devastating blow for anyone. Its a cliche to say time will heal but it will. You probably dont even see how far you've already come, but its a long way. Grief is a staged process, you have to fully achieve each level before progressing on to the next stage. These are the stages;

Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

Anger (why is this happening to me?)

Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)

Depression (I don't care anymore)

Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Hope this helps x

Answer 7

Some say time is a healer of all wounds. I tend to disagree. There is no set time to get over any type of loss. Especially the loss of your mom at such a tender age. You will always miss her, but she lives on in you, in the things you do, say, how you look and maybe even some gestures you use. She lives in your heart, mind and soul. I also believe she will watch over you. Although, it make sound somewhat weird, try talking to her, let her know how you feel, how much you miss her, be still and hear and feel the comfort she will give you. In your own time your sad feelings will diminish, maybe never go away, but you will be left with the ability to go on knowing she is with you in spirit. You will still cry when you need to, but you will also laugh and smile when you think of her and all she meant to you.

Peace and Blessings

Answer 8

My mum died 3 years ago when I was 38 and I still miss her every day. Hopefully you don't feel sad all the time any more but it's not something you ever completely get over.

Answer 9

There is no set time - and you will never be over it. Time is just a healer. The pain is always there but becomes easier to handle. Try to be happy when you think of your mum - remember the good times set yourself a task of going to her grave on her birthday and anniversary (I'm sure you do this already).

This will become a nice occasion through your lifetime - when you can have a deep think about the wonderful lady which I'm sure she was.

Answer 10

You never get over it,but as the years go by you get use to the loss.As long as your not in floods of tears all the time then your doing well.Try looking at the good times spent with your mum with affection,as it helps.there are stages you go through in bereavement,they are Disbelief,Loss,Anger and then resolution.Keep your chin up,it does get easier.