Was this appropraite?

Question

Hi,

Yesterday i went to see a psychiatrist for the first time. It was a male, which i wasn't very comfortable with for various reasons including an incident as a child, which he was aguely aware off and knew how bulnerable i felt. anyway at the end of he session which was extremely tough, but i tried to be honest, i went to walk towards the door...he was behind me...then as i went to open the door i felt his hand grab my shoulder really tightly, he said nothing and i felt stunded, he turned me to face him, he was strong and moved towards me, i backed towardsthe wall, he still aproached and raised his arms saying nothing i was so scared and in the spilt second wehere he said he wantedto give me a hug, i had to shout, please dont touch me! I was terrified, i had never met this man before and he was aware of my history...it made me very shaken and scared since! I went to tel a friend and she laughed until i burst into tears!

Am i over exaggerating, do you think i am exaggerating?

I feel pathetic but if he had of said what he was doing instead of tightly grabbing my shoulder from behind and saying nothing whilst approaching me i probably could have handled it better! I wasnt expecting it at all! In that situation you are very vulnerable and in a small room with this person who your meant to trust! I see a different psychiatrist the next time but i am still shaken by the experience! x

also aware i spelt appropriate wrongly in title---sorry!

Answer 1

In all my years of working as a male in a health profession i have been hugged a number of times, but i have never initiated the hug. The man is inappropriate, and is either a) stupid b) completely unaware (which means he is innaffective if he is not self-aware or c) preying on vunerability which is against practicing codes of behaviour. Either speak to him direct and inform him of his inappropriate behaviour or follow a complaints procedure. If you feel he has crossed the line, he has crossed the line.

Answer 2

Not appropriate on his part at all. Crossing boundaries is something some therapists do. I was a CD counselor and touching a client is NEVER OK.

There was a school of thought 2-3 decades ago that held the physical contact was important in the client bonding and attachment process.

I know one guy still, who is a director of a men's halfway house that lost his license to practice because of inappriate touching of female clients. Counselors are required ethically to pay heed to boundary issues. Those who don't are often ousted from the field and subjegated to administrative position. The old adage is sh*t floats, truly holds water in the MH field.

Answer 3

Wow,this was not right at all,a Dr has no need to hug u and shouldnt expesially when its ur first time seeing him..I cant believe he did that what a tool, there is nothing wrong with patting your shouder or givi ng it a squeese but not what he did and the way he did it was very bad and not thoughtfull to how u would feel or take it at all.

I have seen psychiatrist in the past and no matter what not one has done that to me..He had no thought to how it would make u feel,it was not proper..Pls take care and only ever go to see a Dr that your comfortable with ,if u feel awkward its time to find a new Doc..

Answer 4

I would think someone in his position should have been empathic enough to get the idea coming on so strong (and from behind!) might not have been a good idea and after that point he sure as hell should have been able *AT LEAST*; to pick up on what he was doing to you quick enough to back off before freaking you out so much.

The way you describe the incident doesn't really sound exaggerated. Just sounds like more reason to find someone who isn't oblivious to your state of mind.

...and what the fsck kind of friends do you have? They sound like a waste.

Answer 5

Go and see another psychiatrist next time, preferably a woman. Get a referral. You don't want to see someone that you feel uncomfortable with. Don't worry about this further - you'll probably never see him again and it is now in the past. Remember: he sees patients on a daily basis with more serious reactions (people that think they are someone famous, etc). He'll forget about it in no time.

Answer 6

You didnt overexaggerate- you got a fright.
Its hard to say whether or not he was in the wrong without seeing what happened but you need to remember that this man is a PSYCHIATRIST.
He understands human behaviour and should totally understand why you reacted the way you did.
It would be differant if you did it to a reletive or friend.
I think this man was openly trying to comfort or reassure you-especially since you said the session was so tough.
If anybody will understand why you panicked, he will.
If you still nervous about it, maybe think about changing psychiatrists.
If not, the next time you see him, explain that you just panicked.....You'll probably end up laughing about it.

Answer 7

I understand what you mean. I would react that way too if ever that happened to me. It seems to me that that psychiatrist needs to see a psychiatrist. That could be an expression of affection but I understand how you were scared of the physical contact. However, seeing a new one is a lot better. You'd better avoid meeting this man again and try to forget it. I don't think its an exaggeration, I mean things like this can really happen. I hope you'll get over this in time.

Answer 8

Really not sure i think it is most probably your insecurities making you think the worst.... he probably did meant to give you a hug but realised it was turning into an awkwark moment and didnt know what to do... face up to men more in a calmer way and youll see there not so scary and not all of them are preditary creatures

Answer 9

Hell no you are not over exaggerating, I know nothing about psychiatry but that seems like a breach of what ever guidelines are set in the industry. Your dentist wouldn't do that.

I think you should see a different psychiatrist and ask HER whether that was right or not.

Answer 10

I think that was totally inappropriate. that's horrible for you and probably putting his job at risk. i doubt they're even allowed to touch you are they? but even if he genuinely meant it as a nice friendly hug, for him to approach you like that, knowing your past, was inconsiderate. you're gonna be in a fragile state of mind after your past experiences and after dragging it all up to tell him about it.and i can't believe your friend laughed! i definitely don't think you're over-exaggerating, and i'm glad to hear you'll be seeing a different psychiatrist.