my best friend and i have casual sex. we both date around, but simply enjoy each other's company because we are really close. it's not this huge LOVE deal, but i'd be lying if i said i had NO feelings for him. i thought it was mutual. he's a great friend, mostly to me. he waits for me to finish doctor appts when my car's broken, calls to see how i'm doing, lots of little things. in public, though we show NO pda, people automatically assume we're either dating or brother/sister. when people ask, he never says anything; i answer for him with a "no, we're just friends."
recently, he made a statement that he didn't like some girl he just went on a date with. then he said, he didn't like anyone. and for some reason, that affected me more than i thought it would. and though he treats me the same, when we were in bed later, i was not able to get aroused. he could be testing me. idk. he doesnt act the same with anyone else.do i like him? anyone been in this situation before? whats goin on?
2007-07-17 23:20:12 · 8 answers · asked by linyaeoga 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lol i think jilf7446 got it the closest. the thing is, i'm not LOOKING for a relationship. if he likes me, he likes me. if he doesn't, i can easily get over it. and you guys are right, i probably did develop a slight feeling for him that i didn't even recognize until he said what he said. buuut, i've seen people used and abused before. i've seen girls head over heels and the guy sleeping with her then treating her like crap. but he really isn't like that. we are, really, close. and he isn't like that with anyone else. eh. idk. w/e. lol. this is one of those useless questions that no one can really answer until i find it out for myself. i just wanted opinions since it was on my mind.
2007-07-18 00:21:17 · update #1
There's a river in Egypt and you're swimming in it. This I know from much experience: If you're having sex with someone you're in a sexual relationship, period. And feelings DO develop, regardless of the circumstances. This is a part of being human. Casual sex is a myth. It's a beautiful dream. But it's just not reality.
You got reminded of this reality with this statement you heard, and it scared you. What you have with this guy is great. Better than most people who say they're in a serious relationship have. It doesn't have to be anything much more. But labels are scaring you. It is what it is. No matter what you want to call it. It has all of the characteristics of a full blown romance, but you use labels and date around occasionally to deny this. If he ever announced to you one day that he was deciding to get serious with someone else my guess is that you'd be crushed.
You have nothing to be afraid of. You're already in a serious relationship. Admitting it doesn't mean anything different between you except for maybe we make each other feel better by saying, "You're special to me." Which is probably something each of you need.
2007-07-18 12:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U said u both r pretty close... Right? then what ever little feelings u have for him. share it with him. Don't tell him u love him or something like that but just express ur little feelings for him. Dont' get upset dear if doesn't feel the same way. It good that u r not in love wit him or things would have been worst. Probably he feels for u in same way or he doesnt, u just say wat u feel aloud n u feel really freee after expressing urself. do tell me what happened. ok? take care. ANd don't let it affect ur sex life. Prob he said he doesn't like anyone because he is still unsure. MAybe he is scared u don't feel the same way or probably he needs time to identify his own feelings. Understand him.
2007-07-18 06:32:08 · answer #2 · answered by goddess_of_fame 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a typical romance between friends...the woman becomes romantically attached and then can't understand why the guy with whom she was 'friends' and quite satisfied as such, doesn't form the same attachemtn to the physical side of things. You got what you asked for; anything more is NOT guaranteed and can hardly be expected. Enjoy what you have or move on...
2007-07-18 06:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have developed some feelings for him which you didn't realize. Also, by saying he didn't like anyone, he may have been referring to other girls. He might have actually been testing the waters, presenting an opportunity to see if you would ask if you were included in that statement. Then again, he may not. Your best bet would be to not take this personally. You might also ask him what you should be saying when people ask if you're together, because he might secretly want to be your boyfriend, & he may resent that you always say you aren't. He might tell you to tell them you can say he's your boyfriend if you like, which tells you he might not be opposed to taking things further. Best of luck.
2007-07-18 06:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think casual sex with a friend is a good idea. And I don't think it is a relationship starter either. How many people do you hear of that end up being married when they started off as friends having casual sex and dating around?
2007-07-18 06:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes got his cake & hes eating it!!! Lucky man!
Having a f*ck buddy is one thing... but this is extreme!
Two options... either tell him u wanna step this relationship up to another level or go back to being friends only!
If u date someone other than him...& it gets serious.. u will still go back to ur friend, i guarantee it!
Because u are comfortable with him!
Its clear u have feelings for your friend. Im not saying he is deliberately using u... im sure hes a lovely guy... but ur gonna end up confused n messed up if this carries on!
Gosh im very opinionated this morning!! Sorry! Im just tellin u as i see it!
2007-07-18 06:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by Carol x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,it seems u've been used.u developed ur feelings in the whole process & he's got his fill.better ber careful in relations before going to extremes.
2007-07-18 06:39:55 · answer #7 · answered by sadia_r2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you lost me when you said me and my best friend have sex a lot
2007-07-18 06:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋