how does an only child deal with lonliness in the future?

Question

i'm an only child who's 17 years old with a divorced 53 year-old mother. i love my mother to death and i am the first generation of my family to be born in America. ever since i was a child, i thought about how lonely when my mother dies. lately, i can't get over the feeling of how lonely i'll be when my mother passes away. it's become really bad and i'm afraid to talk to my mother about it. i want to be with my family (as in cousins, grandparents, etc) but i can't since i live in america. my mom and i have a 34 year old difference. i'm so scared of losing her. i don't know what i'll do. anyone can give me advice on how to cope with this fear i have? thank you.

and i have lots of friend -_-
i have to, or else i would have gone insane a long time ago.
i just can't stop thinking about this stupid crap
even though its not going to happen until a long time.

the rest of my family are in taiwan.
i rarely see my dad and barely have a relationship with him. i dont hate him, i just don't feel any connection with him. i have 2 step-sisters, 1 step brother, and 1 adopted sister and i am not close to any of them & some i have never met at all. and since my family lives in taiwan, sometimes its hard for me to communicate because i can understand what they say, but i can't really get complicated ideas across and i can't write/read chinese. so there's another boundary. sigh thank you for all the answers so far tho. i know i have no control over this and i shouldn't keep thinking about this, but i can't help it. i think i just really miss my family since i just came back from taiwan a week ago and i miss having people around me constantly.

Answer 1

Aw, you haven't specified if there's anything medically wrong with your mother yet.
Someone may be getting older but it doesn't mean they're going to die on you.
Talk to your mother.
Just start having fun with her.
Utilize this time.
Make her happy.
So you don't feel guilty.

34 year old gap is pretty huge but there must be something you can talk about. I used to think my mom and I had nothing in common, but was I wrong!

Start talking about your lives. What you want to do with your future and she might start talking about her experiences or engage her in a deep conversation. It could be about anything!

In the meanwhile, contact all of your relatives.
Even if they are in a different country!
And strengthen your relationships with them.

As well, have fun with your friends and try not to stress too much!
I've never known how it was to be an only child as I was born into the world with three younger sisters and I've kept on living, now having another sister and my youngest brother.

But this just means your mother can pay more attention to you, or maybe you could pay more attention to her.
Start doing things for her and COMMUNICATE.
I can't stress that enough.

And you have the same fear, I have, autophobia.
The fear of being alone.

And are you not close with your dad?
If you don't have any ill feeling towards him, contact him too!
But if you do have some ill feelings about him, contact him anyway and work out your feelings.

Again, communication is the key. Tell her your fears and just talk about it.;D

Hope everything works out!
And you sound like a sweet daughter.

EDIT:
Well, if you have a lot of friends, talk to them too about this and see if anyone of them understands.
It helps knowing that someone can relate to you.
And by doing this, you'll be strengthening this relationship too!

Answer 2

i can relate, i too am an only child, with only my mother, well at least when i was your age, i wondered these things too, any cousins etc were far away and we were not in contact either. I finished my studies, and i too had plenty of friends etc, and then i met a man, and we were married, i was over 20 by this time. we had 3 children, as i wouldnt have just one, and i had the family i so wanted and needed, they are now teenagers, and life goes on, constantly! you too will forge relationships and friendships that will take you through life, being an only child is and can still be lonely at times, i still wish i had siblings, but, i cannot change that. sometimes the future looks bleak, at 17 you are neither a child, nor an adult with resposibilities and find it difficult to imagine you will have this, but you will, and no doubt your mother will be there, to see you grow, leave home and flourish, and be a grandmother one day, she is only 53, you are gonna have her for a long time yet-and no doubt she will drive you crazy at times, LOL, thats what mothers are for. Stop worrying about what MIGHT happen and enjoy what you do have, good luck to you

Answer 3

so sorry sweetness thats a heart aching phase to be in. the only solution is to make new friends and get them to be as close as family. i know that at times it becomes hard to make friends. but ol you have to do is put a big smile on your face n be charming to every one forget about the future and try to grab hold of the present. dont think of your4 mothers death jus think of her being alive now. n if you run out of friends you can jus halla at me id love a new friend. but i gat a question, were are the rest of your family like uncles, cousins etc.?

Answer 4

You need to make very close friends that feel like family to you. I live in an area where I have no family other than my son. My friends are like family to me.

Answer 5

turn to family and friends

Answer 6

Just meet friends...