My grandfather and I do not have a good relationship at all, and we never have. I am getting married next year and did not plan to invite him because he has spoken up and said he does not agree with me marrying my fiance. He found out that he was not getting an invitation and, as expected, was upset. My mother said if I did not invite him, she, my father, and my younger brother would not be attending my wedding. So I gave in and invited him, and now he is threatening me. I talked to him a few nights ago and told me "I'm not going to come to the wedding unless you serve a vegetarian course at the reception." (we had planned on serving steak. I cannot believe he is threatening me and his 'punishment' would be him not attending, when he knows full well that I didn't want him coming in the first place. My fiance and I are getting sick of this childish behavior, and my mother says that it's just the way my grandfather is. I really don't want to take on more stress than is needed for this.
2007-07-17 20:19:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is kinda expensive to just buy 1 vegetarian meal from the caterer, and I have suggested that if it's such a big deal to have that certain meal, he should have no problem paying for his. Apparently, he does.
My grandfather has already caused so much trouble already. Should I give in and serve a vegetarian meal (when he's the only one requesting it), or should I ignore him, do as I please, and let him starve? (I mean that in the nicest way possible)
2007-07-17 20:19:55 · update #1
It's too bad that your grandfather is causing this much trouble for you and your fiance. Technically since you invited him, there shouldn't be any reason for your parents and brother to not attend, even if he chooses not to.
As for the veggie entree, I guess it would be OK for you to get him something. If you're serving salad at your wedding, just ask the caterer to give your grandfather a bigger portion.
Ultimately, the choice is yours and your fiance's. It's your wedding, not his.
2007-07-17 20:28:34 · answer #1 · answered by ♥☺ bratiskim∞! ☺♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you need to feed grumpy gramps a veggie meal . Have some one pick up three veggie deli salads the night before like a meatless pasta salad, broccoli slaw etc. Give them to the caterer to put on a bed of lettuce . Voila! As a caterer these days we almost always include a vegetarian option like Italian lemon pasta salad with artichoke hearts, red bell pepper and green onions in a lemon vinaigrette. Parmesan cheese served on the side making it a vegan dish or suitable for lactose intolerant guests. It is nice to have choices for your guests. So many brides that have gone to other weddings have expressed that one of their main concerns is that people get enough to eat. Going to a wedding and all you can eat is a roll isn't a good time. Grampa isn't going to change so whoever is his child that really wants him there should "babysit" him during the reception. Family means getting along with people you wouldn't choose as your friends.
2007-07-17 23:22:20 · answer #2 · answered by lemonlimesherbet 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like all of your problems are solved.
You were the good person, and invited your grandfather, and then he said "I'm not going to come to the wedding unless you serve a vegetarian course at the reception." Well, tell him you are having steak served, and he´ll have to make the decision on whether or not to show.
Sounds like a no-brainer...If he doesn´t show, oh well! You tried!
2007-07-17 23:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by Learning is fun! 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Speak to your caterer so they know WHO grandpop is (photograph, table he's at). Have them serve his meal with no steak on the plate. Period. You can also assign a friend to be in-charge of grandpop @ mealtime to make sure all goes well. Celentano makes an excellent stuffed shell entree that can be popped onto his plate instead of that steak.
You invited him, as requested by your mum, so I assume she is coming - regardless of what grandpop decides to do.
Ignore any additional threats. Just keep telling him "everything will be fine, you'll love it."
In advance, I would enlist friends and other relatives to keep grandpop happy during the reception, if he decides to show.
2007-07-17 21:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by bedbye 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My question to you and the bride is "WHO'S WEDDING IS IT ??? Dont let one person in your family spoil the most happiest day in your life.Let him know what the menu is and if he still wants the vegetarian meal then he will have to pay for it due to it being the only one.and if he does not agree than go on with your life,if your mom,dad and brother do not attend due to this "CHILDISH' attitude than it will be there lose and when they all ask to see pictures and video be blunt to them,you all should have been there to see it ! I hate when someone is getting married or having a baby and the family takes over just to have 'CONTROL' You need to stand up to your mother,father and grandfather,if you let them by with a childish act like this I would hate to see what they come up with next for you.Is grandfather helping pay for the wedding? if not then tell him this will be his part to help you and the bride have a happy day and memories to cherish.And mom needs to quit babing granddaddy and tell him it is her son's wedding and he needs to grow up and act his age and set an example for his grandson and let his grandson know he is proud no matter what.If granddaddy does not agree with whom you marry that is his personal opinion (everyone has one) but he needs to be happy for you.'AS LONG AS YOU AND YOUR FIANCE ARE HAPPY THAN THE HELL WITH THE WORLD)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You live your life don't let everyone else live it for you,stand up for yourself now or it will only get worse in the years to come. Its all about having CONTROL over the family!!
2007-07-18 00:54:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to invite anyone you do not want to invite.
If your family wants to be petty enough to not go if you do not invite someone who you do NOT have a good relationship with, then that is there problem and they will miss out on one of the biggest days of your life.
If you still want him invited, find a place to create a special veggie dinner for him and have it on the warmer at the reception and then get it hand delivered to his seat.
2007-07-18 02:39:27 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I sorry to hear all of your problems, a bride shouldn't have to go though things like this. You can always lie and say it's to late change your meal orders. Or just give in and order the meal for him. I don't think he would be so rude to speak badly of you and your future husband at your wedding. If you do decide to order his meal and he keeps making demands on wanting things his way. Just say screw it, your not changing your wedding anymore for him and if doesn't want to go, that 's fine. And if your parents disagree with you, explain the situation to them and don't let go of it. Maybe they will understand.
2007-07-17 20:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by bekapv_219 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, you poor thing. One bad apple....well, how about this then? Keep the peace by giving him a vegetarian dish. But, is there anyway someone (friend or a relative that'll sneak it) can make up a dish for him beforehand and serve it to him? He'll never know!
2007-07-18 08:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, do not give in. you do not even want him there and now he is ordering you around? the next thing you know he is going to change the seating course.
had he asked NICELY, you could have accommodated his needs. but unless every single little thing on the menu is meat related, i am sure there is something he can eat.
if your mom gives you a hard time, ask her to pay for his meal, since she is use to how he is.
besides, if you go and buy only ONE special meal, someone else might feel slighted, that there was a choice and they did not get one.
2007-07-17 20:29:08 · answer #9 · answered by Christina V 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sounds Like gramps knows your mum wont go so he feels he can cause trouble.
Sad truth is if you want your parents there you have to put up with him. Do what best for you not your family!
You could also talk to your mum again!
However budget allowing it is always good To have more then one option as you may find on the day there are people who don't like steak, or its not cooked enough or dont eat meat and forgot to tell you!
Good Luck
2007-07-17 20:37:00 · answer #10 · answered by Sazzy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋