We are a young couple, 17(me) and he is 18, we know that we are meant to be 2gether. Theres one problem! He is a Catholic and I am Adventist. Ive tried to share with him my points of view and he doesnt like them. he gets mad..he says that changing religions is stupid. I asked him once if he would change his religion and he said no, even if we do get married. I want to have a husband 2 go 2 church with. How can I show him the right way, I want him 2 open up his mind,,how do I? I need advice..how could he change his mind?
2007-07-17 18:01:04 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I was already a Catholic. I also offer him to go to church with me, and I ask him if I can go to his church.
2007-07-17 18:21:57 · update #1
First, you are too young to know you are meant to be together. I thought that too when I was 17... boy, I wish I knew then what I know now!
Anyway, second.... if you truly care about him and love him, you shouldn't want to "get him to change." You love him the way he is. Why is YOUR way the "right" way and his way is the wrong?
Just enjoy dating each other and having fun... perhaps you'll grow apart and move on to someone of your belief system. Perhaps he will see how wonderful you are and that it has something to do with your religion and decide to think differently. But for goodness sake, you are young... just enjoy living for now.
2007-07-17 18:05:53 · answer #1 · answered by Rogue Scrapbooker 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well dear if you are different cultures then you should compromise. An Adventist I believe is a sect of Christianity and so is a Catholic so you are part of the same religion just different sects. Well I'm USA citizen by birth and my husband is a Saudi Arabian citizen. Since we will be going back to Saudi Arabia in a year hopefully he takes me to other Arabian families and tells me to be nice and sit with the Saudi women to learn about his culture so I do. Some parts of his culture I find odd like they kiss you when you enter. And you are required to kiss them back. Weird I know. However the good thing is we are both Muslims and I am doing my best to learn my husband's culture. He may not change his mind. Just try to be nice to him and accept him as he is.
2007-07-18 02:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does HE have to change? What about you??
I know a couple who have been married almost 40 years and happily. he's catholic and she's baptist - neither has ever changed. When they had children, they agreed that most of the time, the children would attend HIS church, and her occasionally, and make their choices when they turned 16.
A few years back, their youngest child left home for college. She was so concerned for him, that she starting going to early service at her church, coming home having breakfast and going to mass with him because she didn't want him to feel lonely or left out.
THAT, my dear, is true and devoted love. Not making the other change.
Adapting and compromising and changing TOGETHER is a marriage.
Hopefully you'll learn to accept him before he finds someone who will.
Church is NOT about who you go with, or your pride (because wanting a husband to go with and obstensibly show off is a prideful thing) it's about worshipping God. You'd do well to remember that.
2007-07-18 01:09:19 · answer #3 · answered by Cheese Fairy - Mummified 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure I can give you advice, don't try and change him...don't pressure him into anything...instead of saying "Believe this..." say, "let me tell you this and then laugh" maybe if you could...(not trying to be judemental but you DID say advice) NOT change his mind...because only one person can do that...and thats that person. If he doesn't want to change, he won't. Simple as that...and the only way you can get him go to church is if you ask him and try to compromise...as for the open-mindedness...that's harder, Most Catholics arn't open-minded....and the right way is whatever an individual believes in...hope this helps you in some way...
2007-07-18 01:09:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you convert for him? A-ha doesn't seem like such a good idea now does it? He will never see eye to eye with you, and perhaps, you will never see eye to eye with him. If you can't see past this then there is no way way you are meant to be "2gether" forever. And anyone who still uses the number 2 in place of to (two letters, seriously, it must take more effort to reach over to the 2 than to actually type to) is not ready for life long decisions anyway.
2007-07-18 01:08:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan K 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are both way too young to be even thinking of marriage. Yes,young love is very intense ,but really you should be enjoying yourselves, not thinking about marriage. Forget about changing his mind...he won't. If you are arguing all the time about religion you need to step back and ask yourself "If we are only arguing when we meet,then maybe we should call it a day and part as friends".
2007-07-19 10:22:54 · answer #6 · answered by Pauline O' Donovan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it enters your head that you can, should, or would change the man you want to marry, then you have no business marrying him. Too many women fall into this trap. If you want to change him, then it's not him you want to marry. It's an idealized image of him that doesn't exist, is who you want to marry. This road leads to unhappiness for both of you. You will be dissatisfied; he will resent you trying to change him.
Until you are with someone who you love exactly as they are, you shouldn't marry.
Have you thought of becoming Catholic? No way? Or maybe on the surface, but not inside? Then don't even think of asking him to give up his faith. Yours is not superior to his.
2007-07-18 01:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, there is no way to change anyone except yourself. Don't even try. And above all else, why bicker over this...why try to change him when you are both believers in Christ? See the problem herein lies...religion. You said:
"changing religions is stupid"
Honestly...yes it is. Just as religion period is stupid. Religion is not what life is about. A relationship with your God is what this is about. Maybe before instead of trying to change your boyfriend, I encourage you to change your perspective concerning this matter. God is not about church, He is not about religion...He is about life.
2007-07-18 01:09:24 · answer #8 · answered by EoC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can he show you the right way, he wants you 2 open up your mind, how does he? he needs advice..how could you change your mind?
If you can't accept each other, call it off.
2007-07-18 01:04:48 · answer #9 · answered by Dreamstuff Entity 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
The same way you can change your mind and change to his religion.
It sounds like you're being the immature one. Grow up or grow apart.
(Harsh, but I saw nothing in your statement that showed you really care about what his faith is or want to support him in it)
Matt
2007-07-18 01:40:37 · answer #10 · answered by mattfromasia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋