So I get a call from one of my buddies and he tells me that him and a bunch of my other friends are coming in town for my friend's birthday party and they want me to come. So I'm like "Ok, this is going to be awesome. I get to dress up nice, smell good, get my drink on, maybe meet a few new people. This is going to be awesome." But for some reason, and this always happens, I am thinking of excuses to get out of it. And I don't know what it is, but I know what I am thinking of is stupid and I should just go.
I don't know why, but I get these feelings of something bad happening. I know my night won't be perfect, but I get freaked out that SOMETHING is going to happen, and it could be anything. I know that if I just go and do it, I will have a blast. But like I said, I am already thinking up of excuses not to go. Any advice on how I can calm down about this?
2007-07-17 16:00:14 · 8 answers · asked by mattador5773 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Your problem is actually quite common, but many people would choose to not admit it.
I used to have (and in some cases still do) an anxiety related specifically to parties or large social gatherings. I am a very outgoing person who likes to meet people and be the center of attention, but I would worry, get anxious, and make excuses just as you do.
The thing that helped me the most was to force myself to go to a large social gathering of some sort atleast once a week. If you do something habitually it loses its mystere and eventually you lose your anxiety. If you do decide to go to the party you will notice the next day you will probably be really enthusiastic about doing it again, and will have virtually no anxiety about it.
Fearing large gatherings where you meet random new people is completely biological/psychological. Your most basic reptillian instincts cause you to fear new people because back in the day it meant possible danger/death/harm/struggle etc. (and less often still does). Coming to terms with yourself that your feelings are natural and common will help you overcome them.
You are however a little more anxiety prone than most, and your anxiety will evolve as you age. Be certain to evolve with it so you can overcome it.
2007-07-17 16:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by Ricky Jones 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enlist a friend to go with you if you can, to keep you from backing out.
Second, have you ever heard "Fake it till you make it" ? Act like you are self confident and everyone else will believe you are. Even if you are scared inside, act as if you are an actor in a movie. You will become that person, and each time it gets easier.
The last thing you can do is re-program your subconcious mind. Each night before you go to bed, you do a daily review of your entire day. If there was anything that happened that you did not like, erase it then re-write the script and see yourself acting/reacting the way you wish you would have. Do this three times for each event you want to change. Soon your subconcious will make the choices you wish you had made in the first place.
Good luck!
2007-07-17 23:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by Alex 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand that what you are experiencing is just an exaggeration of your normal bodily reactions to stress.
Do not fight your feelings or try to wish them away. The more you are willing to face them, the less intense they will become.
Do not add to your panic by thinking about what "might" happen. If you find yourself asking "What if?" tell yourself "So what!"
Stay in the present. Notice what is really happening to you as opposed to what you think might happen.
Label your stress level from zero to ten and watch it go up and down. Notice that it does not stay at a very high level for more than a few seconds.
. When you find yourself thinking about the fear, change your "what if" thinking. Focus on and carry out a simple and manageable task such as counting backwards from 100 by 3's or snapping a rubber band on your wrist.
2007-07-17 23:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by tzimmer44 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u sound like a freind of mine who we envited to a freinds birthday party ...............man u have anxiety just no matter how much u think its gonna go wrong just go and have a few shots or beers just to loosten up a bit and when u get home after its all over u will realize u had fun...........like the other guy said "fake till u make it"............advice...........just get dressed and go forget whay your otherside is saying and have some fun.
2007-07-17 23:12:46 · answer #4 · answered by arc7499 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
slam a few beers your having an anxiety issue
2007-07-17 23:04:13 · answer #5 · answered by bhcky79 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yeah bud .. u have anxiety .. go talk to dr.. they can give u something for that .. like paxil
2007-07-17 23:04:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should trust your intuition.
2007-07-17 23:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by claire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go you will have fun.
2007-07-17 23:07:22 · answer #8 · answered by Michael M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋