How can I help my boyfriend who suffers from an eating disorder?

Question

Today my boyfriend was hospitalized again. This time around I hope they actually focus on what the cause of his depression and that is his eating disorder. He has been suffering from it since he was younger and has been in treatment before but has relapsed. My question is what is it that I can do to help him. No matter what I'm supporting him, he's tried telling me to go, that he doesn't deserve me, but I know that the man I fell in love with is still there. I'm having some problems coping with this on my own and am in serious need of people to talk to if they have ever dealt with my kind of situation. My sister suffered from bulimia a few years ago so I do know the basics about ED but I've never really seen it happen in men and I know it does more frequently than people think, I just need to know from someones perspective how to cope. I don't want to lose him, I love him more than anything in this world and his being sick is killing me...Help!

Answer 1

Your situation is very difficult and i sympathize with you as my sister has had a lot of mental health problems and was hospitalized for depression. What you can do is be there for him stick by him as you have been doing, get informed make sure you understand the problem he is going through and what you can do to help him when he is at home. u should also be making the hospital he is at aware of his eating disorder, if you haven't already and telling them your concerns about it.
take care of him, be tough yet firm and loving, having an eating disorder becomes a compulsion and a way of life for people they begin to lose focus and have difficulty realizing when it is out of control.
Above all take care of you, get yourself some help, possibly counseling, just so you have someone to share your feelings with. and remember he is sick and sometimes no matter how hard we try and how much we love someone they just wont get better until they are ready. So as much as you love him, don't let it consume you and forget to take care of yourself, and don't feel bad or guilty.

do the best you can and if it doesnt' work than you may have to either let him go, or see to it that he is legally forced to get help by declaring that he is incapable of making good decisions about his health. hopefully it won't get that far for u and you will be able to work through it useing therapy and love. good luck to you,my thoughts are with you, stay strong.

Answer 2

Generally, depression is the cause of eating disorders, not the other way around. It is a fact that you cannot help those who choose not to help themselves. There is an old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". Only your boyfriend can make the determination to follow his prescribed treatment and recover. All you can do is be supportive without being an enabler (one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior). While your boyfriend is hospitalized, ask if you may join some of his counseling sessions. Talk with his doctor and get information on support groups. Learn all you can about his illness and what possible ways you can help with his recovery. Let him know that you love him and are there for the long road ahead.

Answer 3

I'd suggest that therapy is appropriate for both of you.
You can't deal with this on your own. It has'nt worked.
You might even be an unaware enabler.
At any rate you are both being damaged by the status quo.

Answer 4

yes i know a guy with an ED, they tend to be pretty ashamed of it thinking they should be the 'strong ones' and hes going to be even more resistant too help....so dont feel bad or take it personally if he tries to get you away from him or closes off too you.....he probably thinks thats how he should be acting...make sure he knows its ok for guys too have the girls look after them from time too time...and stick with him. he'll get through it eventually!!