Ok, I'm going to just say exactly what happened here. My (ex?) girlfriend of 5+ years decided last week that she needed a "break" but NOT a "breakup". She said that she needs to "clear her head and wants to go out and party with the girls and just be on her own for a little while, and then in a little while we would get back together and see what's changed."
Basically what I am gathering (with some help from others) is that she wants to try playing the field for a bit, find out that most guys out there are *******, and make sure that I'm the one she wants to spend her life with. But, I'm going on 29 this year, and don't want to keep waiting around for her to make up her mind. I want to get married and have kids, and, she said that she wasn't sure that's what she wants, (after telling me for months that I'm her "one" and she can't live without me.) So, how long should I wait before I go out and start actively "playing the field" for lack of a better term?
2007-07-17 15:19:40 · 10 answers · asked by cjmeyer57 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, I was planning on waiting about another week or two, just to give myself a little "me" time. Now, I have a friend that I have always wanted to date, and my (ex?) has always been EXTREMELY jealous of her, because I think that she could see the feelings that my friend and I have for each other. Both of us are currently single, and I was thinking about starting to see her. She had found out through a friend what happened with my (ex?) and called me this past weekend, and we talked for almost 2 hours. She knows that I need a little time, and, told me that she'd be up to go out any time when I felt I was ready. My only problem with this is that I am afraid that I WILL fall in love with my friend, and her with me, and that I won't want to go back with my (ex?) afterwards, even though I do still love her (my ex?). Is this a bad idea, or, as I'm thinking, maybe a branch to something better??
2007-07-17 15:19:56 · update #1
I am going through the same thing basically but just a bit further though, I would say not to wait, that if you wait and let her know that you will, she will keep you as a backup, which happened to me, but if she sees that you might find someone else, that would clear up her mind just a bit. Other than that, she might just need time for herself, and about your friend, well if you had feelings for each other, how do you know you love your ex, and you love her?
If you love someone... that person is your world, it does not matter who comes and says that they like you, the person that you love will be the only one that you choose. Think about that for a min, when you choose.
But other than that, I would go with that friend and see what happens, it won't hurt if you just go out, if you fall in love you fall in love, if not then you don't. You will never know unless you try, but I know that you are a good guy because you actually think if it would harm your current ex's relationship.
If your ex can go and have fun, you go too, it doesn't stop her from meeting new people that she might like.
2007-07-17 15:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by DeniDeni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u are making this too complicated. The first girl sounds like she doesnt want the same thing you want. Saying she needs a "break" and you admitting u know she just wants to play the field should be all you need to drop her. If she wants to go play around with other guys, then fine let her have them. Why play games and let her waste your time when u know what u want and u didn't do anything 2 her.
I would say go out with the other girl if she wants the same things u do.
2007-07-17 22:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by Kristine R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on...if she wants a break, the signs aren't good. If she doesn't have the same long term goals as you, it's not going to work. If you think you could have something special with this other girl, you deserve to give it a shot. If she's out playing the field, you have every right to do so as well. Best of luck!
2007-07-17 22:29:02 · answer #3 · answered by Confused girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either want to be with someone or not. 5+ years you 2 had and no engagement? I think it is time for you to have no ill feelings about her and move on. Be a man, accept the fact she wants to go out there and test the waters. Do not take her back. Do not try to make her jealous. Find someone new to date that neither of you know...Good luck
2007-07-17 22:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try the friend. Since your (ex?) is taking a break and testing out other people, you should do the same. This will let you know if you really want to be your (ex?) or someone new and different.
Hope I helped!
2007-07-17 22:27:24 · answer #5 · answered by BluhBluh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you learn that women NEVER know what they want, so they bound back and forth between things in hopes of finding what they want, but they never do, so all they do is leave a trail of despair, chaos, and ruin in their wake. When they say they want to take a break, it's over and they hope you will stay in their back pocket like an old condom until they strike out everywhere else, THEN they want to pull you out and use you again. DON'T FALL FOR IT!
2007-07-17 22:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u should tell ur ex? wat happened and ask her if its ok to c this friend and also tell her if u 2 were ment for eachother u will somehow get bak together.from my experience that has always worked and am now goin on 4 months w/ my gf and the relation ship is great since we took a break for wat was supposed to b 2 weeks but after a day and 10 hours we got bak together lol
2007-07-17 22:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex initiated the "break." Your friend called you. Go out with the friend this week.
2007-07-17 22:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your current girl is trying to tell you something maybe if she came back and settled down then decided it wasn't her thing it would hert you more i think i would go an see your friend and enjoy just like your girl been there and had the same thing and she was-not ready to settle down it hearts believe me
2007-07-17 22:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's time to move on
2007-07-17 22:24:54 · answer #10 · answered by sowhat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋