My boyfriend of 2 years will say the words if I say it first but he cant say "I love you" first. I have discussed this with him. He says that he just doesnt say it all the time. The problem is, he NEVER says it. When he does reply, it is usually mumbled or very inaudible. He acts like he loves me. He talks about our future together. I am a very emotional person, and I am having problems with his lack of emotion. What can I do to soften him up? Has any one else had a similar problem?
2007-07-17 14:05:37 · 20 answers · asked by delishisdiva 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is afraid of commitment.
2007-07-17 14:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by Hillary Nance 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had that same problem with my last gf. We broke up all of sudden but then a couple months we got back together, but when we got back together, she seemed colder than before. She used to say she loved me all the time, but this time she would only say it if I said it first. It was too much for me to deal with so I broke it off again but for good this time. Its very hard to change someone's emotions. If this becomes to hard for you to bear then just move on to someone else, find someone who has is at the same emotional level as you.
2007-07-17 21:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's emotionally immature and expect a lifetime of it if you stay with him. Believe me, been there, done that (for 12 years) and got smart and moved on. Don't waste your time trying to "soften him up." He is who he is and that's that. You need someone who understands and appreciates that you are an emotional person. Thank God I finally found someone for me - so, I married him!
2007-07-17 21:11:43 · answer #3 · answered by Be me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh yeah girl alot of us do and i am 52 and very emotional but laura isn't so much that way. i hear her tell her mom and dad i love you but i don't hear it enough unless i say it first. say it if you feel, it and don't wxpect it to be said back necessarily or quit saying it at all if you think he loves you you two should be fine. everyone is different and maybe he has been burn't before in the past
2007-07-17 21:10:04 · answer #4 · answered by CHOPPER 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not every one is the same sweetie man nor women when it comes to this subject! i know what your are talking about cause i went through it my man. it took him 6 1/2 months to tell me he loved me. even though i new he did! i would always tell him, but he would not tell me i love you . he would say " i care about you alot" so this is what i had told him! He was getting ready to leave to Iraq. it was like about 1week before he had to go. Ive had told him this" you never know if tomorrow is promised and something would to ever happen to me." How would you feel that you should of told me you loved me but im no longer there? I thought he would never tell me"I Love You" . So the day he was getting ready to deployed to Iraq. And as they announced to everyone that they have 5 minutes to say bye to your loved ones. theres when he hold me and whispered in my ear that he Loves me!!! I could not believe what he just told me , so i asked him again what he said "I LOVE YOU"! I started to cry cause he had finally told me! it felt weird for a few months but it finally soaked in my brain that he loves me. We are still together. I had asked him why he waited so long to tell me? he was like i had to make sure you was the one! Yes, he was in the Army when all this happened! but i really hope that my little story helps you out sweetie! i think you should continue telling him you love him! i guess when his ready to tell you " I LOVE YOU" then let it be. only you know what to do!
2007-07-17 21:37:53 · answer #5 · answered by Janita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u're contradicting urself mam... u say his "lack of emotion" .... yet you state, "he acts like he loves me...." what's ur definition of emotion???? to me it's more action based than verbal.... here's the definition acc to dictionary.com: any of the feelings of joy, sorrow, fear, hate, love, etc.
actions speak louder than words. if he says "I love u" and treats u like crap then do those words mean anything???? If he treats you like a queen but don't utter those words would that make u doubt he wants to be with you.... Words are exactly that-> words...... actions on the other hand shows how someone truly feels about you.... stop hassling the man with this "I love you " crap and appreciate his actions....
2007-07-17 21:22:45 · answer #6 · answered by martha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys have a real problem showing their true feelings.
If he answers you when you say it, leave it at that.
My hubby has said it twice to me on his own,(without me saying it first) straight after I gave birth to our 2 sons and they are 5 & 3 now.
2007-07-17 21:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband 9 years and I hardly ever tell him I love him. It doesn't mean I don't mean it. When he tells me, I say just say OK. . Your boyfriend is talking to you about your future together , so he must love you. If you force it, it could push you apart.
2007-07-17 21:09:36 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well some ppl r shy 2 say i love u out loud were u can here it because it's jus kinda weird 2 sum ppl trust me i had that exsperiance with my friend but hoffaly u can here him say it 2 u some time..best 2 luck 2 u!!!!bye
2007-07-17 21:10:04 · answer #9 · answered by adrienne a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sum people usually don't say those 3 words cos it has a great power in it and they cant deal with that so he will say it but will take sum time so plz be Patience
2007-07-17 21:12:10 · answer #10 · answered by Angel. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just doesn't like to express his emotions. Some people are like that, don't force him to say it if it makes him uncomfortable. Just because he doesn't say it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
2007-07-17 21:08:36 · answer #11 · answered by Heather 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋