How do you know if your first impression is accurate when meeting someone new?

Question

When you meet someone for the first time, your first impression typically influences your opinion. If you feel that someone might be a bad person, is it really fair to assume that this is true when they haven’t actually wronged you personally? How can you tell whether or not you should trust your gut instinct in these situations?

Answer 1

I don't trust my initial impression. I have one for certain, but I give them room to change my mind. I'm always waiting for new information and I play the person's advocate. I try to generate numerous possibilities for their behavior.

I've been the on the receiving end of a lot of shallow and quick judgments. I think that is the best way to learn how not to do it. It takes recognizing the psychology of the judgment toward yourself in order to understand how you do it to others or conversely, you can better understand why they do it if you see it clearly in yourself.

When you repeatedly see the outcome of a judgment appear differently than the first impression, it should teach you to suspend it.

I was in a confrontation at work in which a person said to me that they were a "superb judge of character." I asked them if they were ever wrong. They said "no, never." I told them if they were never wrong, they most likely weren't learning or honest with themselves, and should be trusted the least with character judgments and walked away.

Answer 2

Why is this question under 'General - Television' ?

It seems you are asking two questions here. The first question is related to how accurate is a first impression without prior knowledge of the person. Prior information would be considered information such as a friend's opinion, or in the case of a celebrity, the characters that they may portray. A first impression without prior information is usually relatively accurate (unless the other person is pathological). Since there is nothing known previous to bias this meeting, then mannerisms, body language, dress, hygiene, ego, confidence level, vocal inflections and intonations as well as speech patterns all play a key in forming this first impression. There have been reports done by news media about first impressions when the same person had different hair color (which led to completely different outcomes).

The second question is related to how accurate a first impression is with prior information (a friend's opinion or other knowledge of the person in advance of the meeting). Your 'wronged you personally' statement indicates prior knowledge from some external source. Unfortunately, this situation is where you could easily come into the meeting biased. So, this is where the person needs to go into the meeting with an open mind. You need to meet them, talk with them, view their appearance and mannerisms and wait until later to form that impression. Then, after it's all over, form an impression.

Unfortunately, too many people go into meetings with opinions already formed (usually because of prior information) and this usually overrides the gut feelings. This then biases the entire outcome of the first impression. With prior information, It takes someone with a completely open mind to remain objective to give it enough time to formulate a final impression.

Overall, the gut instinct is probably about 50% accurate. So, it's always worth keeping an open mind initially because you never know where that relationship or friendship may end up. They could just as easily become your best friend. But, don't take chances as well. If you get a really bad gut feeling from the person, be polite, excuse yourself and leave.

Answer 3

This is a very complex question and the envirement also plays a key role; i.e.,

Guy just walked into a convienence store to buy a soda - he is stinky and looking very unkempt - first impression is the guy is a slob and someone you would not want to spend time with - however,

THE SECOND TIME MEETING - in the same convienence store the guy comes in with a suit and tie to buy the soda.

The environmental factor you was not aware of was that he was helping a widow to spread dung on her field so that she could grow a watermellon patch to generate extra money - there was great reason for the stench and the unkempt appearance.

Your question stated how can you tell that your first impression WAS ACCURATE - meaning that you allow for future meetings wherein the environments may be different.

There are other factors as well - everyone and everything give off frequencies that are picked up by our subconscience mind. Some can pick up on the frequencies/ vibes and others may not. Such is no different than those who are adversely affected/effected by bad weather long before it presents itself ... I wake up some days feeling really bad and do not know why until it pours cats and dogs a few hours later - or sometimes I may feel really bad for two or three days before the storm comes in and am relieved of the ill feelings when the weather breaks.

Everyone has an aura and that is but a frequency that is eminated from the electrical make up of that individual, this is where the gut feeling comes in and the environment still plays a factor -

One can be putting off a frequency because of problems in their lives that another picks up at first meeting - that may be totally deceptive. A real nice couple who just had their daughter stolen by a rodeo clown and eloped ... after 18 years of raising her right - she is on her way to Colorado to live in a tent ...

Clearly the loving couple are completely disturbed and very upset - three hours ago they would have given you the shirt off their backs ... now they want to hunt down someone and do surgery on certain parts of his body ...

That is why a book should not be judged by it's cover and a person should not ALWAYS be judged on first impressions.

Some people though - you can just tell that they are not to be trusted by their body language and the frequency they put off.

Everyone should be allowed a second and third impression - unless they are dripping with blood and a body lay in the street five feet away - and he with blood dripping has a large smile of satisfaction on his face.

CAUTION THOUGH ... if a first impression is not great - you should never conduct a second without someone else you trust being with you if at all possible.

There is no sense at all to take a risk - and in turn - if a woman - she should never even take on a second opportunity with any male - without a trusted friend with her; but, this has become quite an outdated custom as the crime rates directly reflect.

I realize my answer leaves the pandorah's box wide closed - but; hope it shed some light to help just one even whom seeks advice.

Peace;

Aintmyfault
.

Answer 4

An individual can know that the impression is accurate,
but that the other individual might interact differently
within a different context. Often the discussion of first
impressions is considered in terms of an entire relationship;
a relationship which extends beyond the first impression.
If an individual voluntarily chooses to associate with
individuals within an environment then the individual
might choose not to associate with an individual
based on that first impression. The context of the
question seems to be considering the forced
relationship by the nature of questioning the
validity of continuing the relationship.
Directly pursuant to the first impression the judging
individual isn't assuming the first impression, they
know the first impression. However, the first impression
might not be a proper sampling of the person's
character as a whole, but the judging individual
might not be interested in the person's character.
The initial impression might be the most terminal
conclusion of utilizing the relationship. Regardless
of the specific nature of the encounter, conclusions
might be drawn about mannerism of participation
and projection within a forced relationship
environment. The context of the relationship
and environment dynamic can make some people
appear good or bad within different situations.
Therefore, an impression is always accurate.
The dilemma is identifying what situation the
impression applies to. In other words, why does
the person behave the way they do, and what
elements of the situation give reason and
substance to the atmosphere. Essentially,
the key to successful relations are knowing
the mutual conveniences shared by the entities
involved in the relationship; what gives substance
to the relationship. Communication is an effective
solution to the identification of the mutual interests.

Answer 5

Great question. First of all I want to preface my answer with the fact that this is only an answer from my own experiences and please know that I answer this not to fix you but, sharing from a motivation of human connection.
With all that said I do believe the gut felling is very valuable because my life has been spared many times when I have listened to my gut (besides the common gurgling, lol).
My own caution is when I trust my gut on relationships and first impressions. Since I have had success and failures in this area by using my gut feelings alone, I first of all I now ask myself if it is my intuition (gut feeling) or some preconceived judgment I may have. Hopefully I am patient enough and I am not letting some natural instinct (physical attraction) skew my feelings then I may have a better take on what is going on inside of me. Life can be so busy in the world we live in presently and many times I don't take the time to evaluate completely. I guess this helps to make life an adventure.
Back to the point of the question. I believe time tells all. Some of my best friends were at first rivals and it seemed that being able to work through our difficulties made us stronger and more real. What more could a person ask for. Sometimes the easy way is not the best in the long run. I still use my gut feeling but, it is not the final word. It is nice to be a human and be able to make a choice as long as we are willing to absorb the results.

Answer 6

The truth is that you can't judge someone by your first impression. You can't judge a person just because you've known them for a couple of hours. Even though by an off chance your first impression is true, 99.9% of the time your first impression will not be true. I think that is the way things are. Mainly because the person is also trying to learn about you and in those first moments that they have met, you they will probably be on their guard because they don't want to have you dislike them. So both people are probably not being themselves in front of the other person. In highschool, first impressions are practically all wrong. Stereo-types are probably the main reason they are such a problem. Maybe some people can trust their gut instinct but most of the time that gut instinct is just a rash judgment you have made of that person. The only way you can really get to know someone is to go past your first impression because you might never know what a great person he or she might be.

Answer 7

I'd like to first look at the last of these questions:

How can you tell whether or not you should trust your gut instinct in these situations?

Once, I was offered a trip with a good friend. It was for 7 days and the longest trip I had ever been on before that was only day trips. I had a lot of anxiety about it. Another friend suggested that I go ahead and go and see if my fears became true. I thought that was a great idea , so I went. I ended up having the best vacation of my life. My gut/instincts were telling me that I would not have fun and that something 'bad' would happen, but it did not.
I learned from this that what I think is my 'gut' is not always seeing things clearly and rationally.

Now back to the original question:
If I am clear-headed while meeting this new person, I will be aware of my thoughts and judgments while talking with him/her. For example, if my 'gut' says that this person is a jerk, I can talk with this person for a bit and get REAL facts & data to logically support my feeling.
If my 'feelings' don't match the facts, then I know that my first impression was mistaken. In the end I will learn something about myself regarding my desire or need to judge others.

Answer 8

Did you know that your question is being posted in General Television?

Talk about a first impression.

The answer to your question is new. A meeting is a space in each persons timeline. You have little idea what happened to the other person(s) before you showed up and even less idea what is on the person(s) mind at that point. A first impression is normally visual and or auditory and not much to go on.

You actually have three questions here but that is not unusual.

Question to I can trust people because I know they are strangers and unless they are wielding an weapon at me i can assume that they are not life threatening. As for anything else you have to take circunstances into account as to what if any tipe of relationship will develop. Standards vary from person to person and situation to situation as to what one will and will not accept in the way of behavior from others. I am the be prepared type of person but that means be prepared for anything. A positive demeanor on your own part will help to establish whether the other person is going to be otherwise. If the person(s) gives you problems when you give them non then that is a sign that something is a miss. What it may be is the question.

Question 3

Gut instincts are fight or flight mechanisms taking charge of you. The is nothing wrong with listening to them but the moment you recognize that it is a reflex and not a sound decision is the moment you should think am I right and adjust your bearings. You might read Sun Tsu if you have not already and apply the allerory to this situation using the terrain and and judging the other person(s)' force to estimate what your countermove should be at this point. It is one thing to think too much and another not to think at all. The best solutions are the ones that think only when thought is necessary and stop thinking once a decision has been employed. Anything that follows that decision is something new.

Like I implied, I have no idea what this has to do with television but I am more that willing to try and give you a direct answer to a direct or a series of direct questions.

Answer 9

fair is an odd word for adults to use, it is right up their with mean. these are words for kindergarten and the sandbox. Life on earth as an adult among selfish and, dare I use an unpopular word, sinful humans isn't fair except in the sense that it is equally unfair to everyone. It is also fair in the sense that the law of sowing and reaping is a law like gravity, it just doesn't always have such immediate consequences.

How can you tell whether or not you should trust your gut instinct in these situations?

check the hair on the back of your neck. Women are probably more intuitive than men, as a rule, which is good because they are more vulnerable.

Don't let adherants to the rule of political correctness lull you into a feeling of guilt over getting a bad vibe from someone you meet for the first time. Your instincts are probably right on the money, give that person a wide berth and don't feel guilty or ashamed for doing so. You might be saving your life or the lives of your loved ones.

That being said, everyone should learn to think accurately and without fear. Accurate thought means letting your decisions be governed by facts not opinions and hearsay. For most people I would say give them the benefit of the doubt until they show their true colors. You would hate to miss the opportnity to make a true friend. But, paying attention to your subconscious mind and your body's instinctual reactions to people you meet is not a form of fear, it is a survival mechanism. For that minority of people who set off your inner early warning system, trust it until they prove themselves otherwise.

Answer 10

People have a "gut instinct" an innate ability to sense danger that is no different from an animal in the forest sensing predators are near and running for cover. It's a natural ability to sense danger--self preservation instinct. It may not seem fair, but far more often than not, it's right. There is always the possibility that the person you meet was having an off day, but most people don't really hide their true colors as well as they think they do. If someone puts you on the defensive without ever really doing or saying anything you can put your finger on, they're just putting out the vibe of who they really are underneath their "public good behavior" mask. Trust your instincts, every time!

Answer 11

When I get a "bad feeling" about someone at first meeting, I consider it a "caution" sign, and it heightens my awareness towards this person. The bad feeling raises this question: What is it about this person, either in appearance, body language, manner, etc. that gives me this bad feeling? In business or a work situation the result is that I slow down and proceed very carefully.

I wouldn't assume this person is necessarily a "bad person" (perhaps he or she just reminds me of someone else), but neither would I assume this person to be a "good person." If I were considering some kind of partnership or anything that involves some risk, I would want to do some more research and spend some time getting to know the person better. The bad feeling would stop me from moving forward without more information.

I always trust my gut instinct, and my husband trusts my gut instinct as well because pretty much every time I've said that I have reservations about someone, my caution has turned out to be beneficial.