i was going out with a guy for about 8 months, then we decided to be friends cause although it was working in some ways... there were things (cause of him really) that made it really hard and not work very well. he is kind of insecure, and although he knows that i would always be there for him, he finds it hard to talk to me about anything, and completely be himself. i do everything i can to make him feel comfortable, but it seems like he can't, whatever i do...
i just don't want to give up because i do love him so much and i want to be with him, and there are some parts of our relationship that are really great.. i'm not even sure exactly what we are right now.. we went from being 'just friends' to more than friends again (within a few days) then apart again, then the last time i saw him we were definatly not just friends! another thing is he lives quite far away from me so we can't see each other a huge amount, although we are ok with that. i'm just not sure what to do anymore..
2007-07-17 12:14:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's almost like it's not even up to me, cause he's the one really that wants us to be friends, even though he says he does want it to work, and he does love me a lot. but i don't know if we should keep seeing each other as more than friends or to just try and be friends and see what happens. it's confusing me so much, i can't stop thinking about him, and in a few weeks i'll be able to see him more, but i don't know what to do. i do really want to be with him.
2007-07-17 12:14:24 · update #1
I understand your frustration because I was in an exact type of relationship! It was so hard becoming friends with someone with whom you care so much for. But I came to realization that the person really wanted to date other women and not be in a committed relationship but wanted to engage in 'relationship' type of activities (if you know what I mean). I think that the best thing you can do is get out of the 'meantime' relationship with your friend/lover eventhough you love him. It's going to cause so much emotional pain for you in the end that you won't be able to transition into a meaningful relationship with someone else. Its hard giving up on a person but if he's doesn't want to be in a relationship then just let it go. My friend didn't want to give up his 5 yr relationship/friendship with his ex-girlfriend. He had very close ties with her children and often times they came first when we were dating. I just couldn't deal with it anymore so I moved on.
2007-07-17 12:29:16 · answer #1 · answered by klyngbld2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you love him alot and even though some things don't work out between you 2 i think that you Should just talk to him and be like I want to be with you it's just that you don't know how to be yourself around me. It's just bugging me. Because I wanna know if you are really in love with me as you say you are. And if he is why isn't he being himself around you? Well. I mean the distance really isn't that big of a problem because I had a relationship where he lived 1 hour away from me and we could barely see each other maybe once every weekend. Well you can't get him off your mind just talk to him and tell him what's wrong in Your relationship..
And he wants to make it work then i think that he should try harder. Because if he loves you alot then he would try harder than he already is. (if he is).
Just talk and if you can't talk then just maybe get pass it and then if not. Just Be Friends.
2007-07-17 12:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by Carly-Rae<3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him to either pick friends or bf and gf cuz its not a good choice to be friends with benifets which it seems like you are, so just confront him about it and tell him that every relationship has hard spots but that you have to be honest and be yourself to make the relationship work. Tell him that youll do anything to help him through the tough times if he does the same for you.
2007-07-17 12:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by Aurora 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...it seems that its not a healthy relationship any more...
my suggestion if you love this person talked to him don't be embarrassed about your feelings...maybe be felt the same to you but his too shy to admit his feelings....
any how ask yourself what kinda relationship do you really wanna have??? and let it happen...good luck
2007-07-17 12:21:41 · answer #4 · answered by angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK i think yall should stay together until he brakes it to u and u might wanna get used to it , guys can b that way
sincerely, Bertlza ;o
2007-07-17 12:24:22 · answer #5 · answered by birtlza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tl:dr
2007-07-17 12:17:20 · answer #6 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋