He bugs me about going out on nights he has to work. But.. I really like going out with my best friend and her man to the bar on Saturday nights. Is this ok? Its not my fault he has to work. Also, he doesn't get along with my best friend's boyfriend.
2007-07-17 11:43:59 · 17 answers · asked by Linz ♥ VT 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for all the answers. To the guy who said I don't want to be engaged anymore, you're wrong. I love him with all my heart.
2007-07-17 12:24:20 · update #1
That comes along with the territory. That's your fiance and if he has a problem with you going out and you like to then maybe you need to talk to him about it maybe he is having some kind of trust issue
2007-07-17 11:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by poison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your fiance for a reason and I hope you haven't forgotten the reason. I sense you are not in the same frame of mind now as you were when you guys got engaged.Maybe, you might even want to get "un-engaged".I mention all of this because I was troubled by the following line in your letter:"Its not my fault he has to work ".it sounded so uncaring and unfeeling and I'm sure you might not want him or be engaged to him if he was unemployed. While it is possible he does not get along with your best friends boyfriend , don't forget he is your boyfriend. You owe him some loyalty .What if you flip the situation around, and he speaks the way you do or feels the way you do , what would your reaction be ----be honest in your response to yourself. All of this may be academic since I have a sneaking suspicion you may not love this guy as much as you used to or at the least don't want to be engaged.Think about it.
2007-07-17 19:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You had a life before him and there will be life with him. Tell him what the deal is. Acknowledge the problem and then come up with a solution. However, if you are just trying to make the transition that much easier then just tell him that you are not trying to make him feel uncomfortable. You know he does not like your best-friend's man and you are just trying to make it all work for everyone and keep your friendship with your best friend . Then ask him if he'd like to come out with you guys and get to know him a little better, and see what happens or ask him if he would feel better if it were just you and her and see what happens again.. Assure him that you got what you want in him and if anything your best friend's boyfriend keeps away the unwanted attention. Sometimes you have to sing the song that they want to hear to soothe the savage beast.
2007-07-17 19:04:05 · answer #3 · answered by mississippidiamond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was like that with my ex wife. I was controlling and obsessive. I did not see it at the time, but now that I look back I see how I was. We were way young to. I was for sure immature.We were only 20. It comes down to the maturity level. If he is acting this way now,like was said before, that is a flag. Things like that have a tendency to increase as time goes on and escalate further. Just remember that. Do not get yourself into something you do not really want to do. You two are still way young. Live while you have a chance and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
2007-07-18 06:53:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he work every weekend nights? only you and your fiance knows whats ok...for you guys. if he is a jealous/unsecure person then going to the bars without him is definitely gonna affect your relationship in the long run....... talk to him, if he doesnt understand your point then think about how life will be when you marry him.
2007-07-17 18:55:25 · answer #5 · answered by mr b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it ok for him to go out without you? Ask yourself that question. Think he goes out leaves you at home, your layin in bed alone. I did that for awhile, left my man at home, but then I realiized it wasnt any fun without him, I would rather be with him then sit at a bar. & I knew it hurt him, & I love him too much to hurt him. But thats me. If it doesnt cause a problem then do it.
2007-07-17 18:50:24 · answer #6 · answered by the_kikione 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he doesn't like you to go out, even when he's working? What? He wants you to sit at home and wait for his homecoming? I dont think so, tell him to stop being so controlling. Go out with your best friend, nothing wrong with that. I could understand if you were ditching your finace for your best friend but it sounds like he's not able to even go out.
2007-07-17 18:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lucky Colette 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, sounds like he is jealous of your GF's BF and like wata tard for it 2. but you need consider his feelings being he is your fiance and so does he need to yours. talk with him on a comprimise sumthing you see him 1st just after or before work then go hang. And dont do it every week. more like everyday at his break time with him kinda thing. or couple times a week with him whenever. you get it?
2007-07-17 18:52:15 · answer #8 · answered by l33nix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to him about it and work things out...
but dont let him control you.. if you wanna have a good time then go.
Its not like your going to be cheating on him or anything you just want a fun night out... hes gonna have to get over that
2007-07-17 18:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by Mela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok to go out without him. He is displaying classic signs of being controlling ... take note of this behavior before you walk down the aisle.
2007-07-17 18:47:59 · answer #10 · answered by screwed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋