Problem with my mom?, plz read the whole thing?

Question

well, my mom never lets me choose my own clothes, and i really hate the clothes she picks for me, but when i try to tell her that, she gets angry and starts yelling at me, and its not like i'm gonna buy really short stuff, i just want to pick out my own clothes, but i dont want to get mad either, is there any way i can tell her nicely or something??

.......she doesnt even let me have a job, like babysitting, cuz she thinks that someone is probably is going to rape me or something.....she has the craziest ideas of what will happen to me

Answer 1

You'll never win, especially against a mother. The best thing you can do is let her do her thing ..but don't touch what she buys. Eventually she'll tire of spending the money on clothes that are never worn.

Now, if it were my mother. I'd take the clothes that she'd buy that i wont wear and toss them on my bedroom floor ..where they'll stay. Eventually she'd get tired of picking them up whilst cleaning house and decide that the less she buys, the less she has to pick up.

Answer 2

Good question. Not knowing your mom or your age it is a tough one to answer. For one, who picks out HER clothes? How would she like it if her mom picked out her clothes? Can't you go shopping together so she can see what you like and compromise with you? Everyone has their own tastes and that is just normal. I wouldn't be caught dead in the clothes my sister wears.

If you are shopping with her, just don't attack her personally. Explain that the shirt/skirt/pants are the wrong color the wrong fit or whatever and that you would prefer one that looks like....."......." and explain what it is that you are looking for.

Either your mom has extreme self-esteem issues and takes it personally when you don't like what she has chosen as if you are saying you don't like her or she is controlling and wants her own way. Cost may play a major role as well.

When you are NOT shopping, ask your mom what she thinks would help you two agree on what you are are buying to wear and a strategy to make going out shopping more fun for you both.

Avoid any "you" statements and stick to what you want to gain and how to get there. For instance "Mom, I like clothes like this. What do you think?" Stay away from any personal attacks. If she starts yelling, it is time for a time out. If she is yelling over picking out clothes, there is something at the bottom of it besides clothes. That is just plain odd.

My son is 14. I am almost 40. Obviously we do not have the same taste in clothes. I expect that. So...I try to pay attention to what is in style and then what he likes and we pick out things he likes to wear. I don't see what is so hard about it. If I have a budget I tell him so so that he can help make shopping less stressful. When we find good deals, we go for it.

What you need are negotiation skills. Remember that just because she acts one way, it does not mean you have to react to her. Stay cool. Keep your head. Strategize. "I can see you are upset, but I am not sure why this makes you so mad. Maybe you can help me understand where you are coming from so we can agree on some clothes here." Agree with her, be sincere, and stick to what is wrong with the clothing and not each other. Shopping with your daughter should be fun.

I wish you the best.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

With the clothing out there right now for young girls, I can see why your mother wants to pick yours out. Some things are just inappropriate for teenagers and its your mother's job to make sure you are dressed appropriately. Respect your mom and trust that she is thinking of your best interests.

Answer 5

You haven't already said it nicely?

When you're out with her and you see something you like, point it out to her. It might take several attempts, but if she sees you consistently pointing out things that aren't objectionable she might start to come around.

Avoid saying you "hate" the things she picks out. That can be taken as a personal attack, and she yells because she feels defensive. When she picks out something you ... dont like :o), respond calmly and say something along the lines of "you know, I like this and thus about this choice, but do you think we could find something in a different color/design/cut?"

HTH

Answer 6

You could ask your mom to take you shopping and ask if you can pick out the clothes you want, but then say she has to approve it first. That way you won't be buying anything she doesn't think is appropiate, but you will also pick out things you like.

Hope this helps! =]

xx

Answer 7

Have you tried showing her some of the outfits that you are interested in? Tell her that you apprecaite the clothes she picks but you like her appinion on somethings that you think are really cute. Maybe if you show her what your interested in she'll change her mind. Good luck!

Answer 8

it's not easy being a parent, and i guess it's your mums way off thinking she's looking out for you. if you have tried talking to her about it and it hasn't worked, try talking to another family member if there is 1 and see if they would have a word to your mum, or print these of here and show her and just say it's really getting you down. Maybe she will see how much it means to you. good luck

Answer 9

Some mom's are just plain nuts. I was 16 before my mom would let me even walk away from her in a store. I couldn't date, and I had to wear what she wanted. I just had to suck it up. I got a job, and bought my own things. That's about all you can do.

Answer 10

my mom is sometimes the same way. when i want something and she would think its unnapropriate for me, id ask her to sit down and tell her that why dont she take me shopping sometimes and i would pick out the clothes i want and have her opinion on it but to be reasonable with me. out of the 5 she should think one of them is appropriate for me to wear. why dont you try that?