I am currently deployed in the middle east on my second tour with the US Army... I was set to come home in mid-September. My fiance and I were going to marry on Oct 4th. Almost everything has been paid for.... Now I learn, our replacements are going to be two weeks late!!! With them being late we will not be able to leave for an additional 2 weeks. Is it wrong of me to expect to come home on time? I mean here I am making a sacrifice for the country, and all I want is a timely return! Honestly is that too much to ask?
My fiance is german, and respects that this is my job, but as she is not an american and does not support the war in Iraq, she doesn't have the feeling that what I do is heroic,
as most americans would. The arrangements we have made, will not be able to be made again at a later time... We are just screwed now!!!
How do you tell an excited bride that her wedding won't happen now for a couple of years? I am so frustrated with the military, this is bullsh!t
2007-07-17 07:09:22 · 13 answers · asked by Keger E 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I know that this is the norm for the military and believe me I do plan on getting out... I don't believe in what I am doing either. All these answers saying.. that is just the way it is... thanks but it doesn't exactly help the situation...
What gets me is that I am doing the country a service, why can't they do one for me? I have given two years of my life over here.. and they can't get me back in time for my own wedding?!
Sorry... but I don't think there is any excuse for that... just goes to show that the government doesn't care about the soldiers.
Talking with my command i get the same thing... "Sorry, can't help you."
It makes no sence....
2007-07-17 07:48:33 · update #1
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2007-07-17 07:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by In Flames I Lay Dying 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋
I understand your anger and frustration at having to tell the woman you love that you have to postpone your wedding. But many soldiers have had to miss important moments in thier life for the same reason...babies are born, family members have died, marriges have ended...and the military simply can't let everyone go. This has always been the way it is...even without this war. I know many members and families that had to change plans at the last moment when leave was revoked for reasons that made little sense. Once you agreed to serve your country, that meant you agreed to serve them first...24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You will have to replan your wedding (although I don't see why it would have to wait another couple of years to occur)..it is sad and unfortunate. But I am betting that if you had not joined the military, you may not have even met your fiancee...so it did give you something of value in return for your dedication and service.
2007-07-17 14:54:44 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here is what I reccomond based on my time in the Army.
1. Ok 1st things 1st call her and let her know what is up. She needs to know and communication is key to any relationship.
2. Calm down realize that there are events going on way above your pay grade.
3. Once calm and collected bring this issue to your chain of command. Ask is there any way you can be on the ADVON back. If you were my soldier I would fight as best as an E-5 can to help you get on the advon home.
4. You can always use the open door policy with any one in your chain of command. Make sure your leaders know if you are going to speak to the CO or BC. Explain your situation, if your a good soldier dont cause problems and your TL and SL can vouch for you chances are you might even be allowed to take leave. After all the Army wants to keep good soldiers.
2007-07-17 14:21:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, unfortunately, this seems to be the state of affairs in the military, we're stretched too thin and this means that replacements don't always come in on time. And you should know that the military is prone to do these things without consulting the troops. You could try asking for leave. See if your CO will work with you. And maybe have a talk with the Chaplain. But your best bet may be going through channels. Unless you have a critical MOS you might be able to get leave for your wedding.
2007-07-17 14:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by tonyngc 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I dont know if your new to the military, but everyone in my unit and everyone I know, knows that never set hard deadlines around the time you come home. Assuming even if you do begin your trip home on time, you know how many connection flights it will take, and there is a good probability some flights will be cancelled and you might have to spend a few nights some where. There are never hard dates on when you come home just estimations.
Good luck to you, and if you should definitely speak up and rattle the cage so to speak. Talk to your commander and first sergeant, they should be able to let you go home a few days. The war will not be lost by one soldier who went home early. Congrats to you for being safe the whole time.
2007-07-17 14:35:28 · answer #5 · answered by Captain Kid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you questioning this, are you really in the Army? I have been in for 10 years now and you pretty much get the drift after the first year how the military in general works! Second, I understand your future wifes dissapointment but if she is going to be a military spouse she has to understand this comes with the territory, it takes a special woman to deal with the rigors of a military husband. If she cant handle this then you need to consider getting out and living a different life with her as a civilian!
2007-07-17 14:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by James B 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Thats the military buddy, its run on Murphy's Law which is "If It Can Go Wrong, It Will Go Wrong."
Tell the Frauline to get used to it, its how the Army works or does not work as the case may be.
You could always request to talk to your CO and explain about the Wedding, one man getting out of there early wont affect the war on terror so much.
2007-07-17 14:19:18 · answer #7 · answered by conranger1 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, thank you for serving our country. I have my freedom because of men and women like you.
Second, I'd ask your commanding officer what to do. Maybe you can get a leave early just for the wedding.
Also, maybe the church and reception venue will allow you to postpone the event for a month until you are back and settled. If you let them know early enough that they can still book the places, you might be fine.
2007-07-17 14:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by jellybean 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, let her know what is going on, don't take a chance that you will come home on time.
Second, if you KNOW you are getting home after than expected, try calling vendors now, most will be able to move the date with plenty of notice.
Thanks for doing what you do
2007-07-17 14:14:03 · answer #9 · answered by Michael H 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
c'mon
I was USCG.
Doing drug interdiction and Haitian migration patrols.
We have date we supposed to return home port(Miami Beach at the time).
But that can be tentative.
And the past few patrols we arrived home port according to schedule.
But every once in a while.......
And that is when phone tree is activated and the word is passed to families that patrol has been extended.
Two tours?
Haven't you noticed a pattern about length of tours out there?
upredictable.
How can you plan?
2007-07-17 14:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by zes2_zdk 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't understand it she probably won't make a very good wife. Maybe you could take a leave? Joining the military means you belong to the govenment, hence the GI. Surely they told you that when you joined.
2007-07-17 14:16:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋