scared to have bm?

Question

my 3 year old goes to the restroom on his own when he needs to pee but when he has to have a BM he will hide and do it in his underwear. we read about using supoitories and we did just this weekend and he went in the potty but then he jumped off and said he was scared and he frantically flushed it away and said "that was scary"! i was wondering how i can make him see it is not scary?

ok first off the dr recomended the supositories b/c he would go 4 to 5 days w/o going and when he did he said it hurt and apple juice did nothing! i have tried rewarding him and i dont force him to until it gets to where it has been to long and he needs to so something. i dont punish him i just tell him maybe next time he can go in the potty cause that is what a big boy does. and he will say yea cuz im a big boy. you know i used to come on here all the time and i stopped b/c of all the judgmental people. i was just asking for help not to be judged and i would never do anything to hurt my son. they do make supositories for children and i talked to the dr before hand.

Answer 1

I understand what your going through, and it doesn't help when people are judgemental, its most likely hurting him because he is holding it is for so long and maybe that is why he is scared because it hurts everytime he has to go so he associates pain with the toilet and he gets scared when he goes. Maybe be a model for him and while you are in the bathroom have him sit on a potty chair so that he sees that you are not scared of it. Maybe if he sees you doing it, he will feel much better about the whole thing. If you don't have a potty chair for him maybe consider buying one, I read that children have an easier time going poop in a potty chair because their feet can touch the floor and that gives them more of an advantage when pushing. Its worth a shot!! I wish you the best of luck and don't let negative comments get you down.

Answer 2

That happened to someone I know when they were little. The parents found a perfect solution that worked really well: buy a special toy that the child will really enjoy and say "The next time you go (BM) in the potty, you will get this toy. You can only get it if you go (BM) in the potty." If the child goes in their underwear, they don't get the toy. Kepp doing this until the child is comfortable with going. In addition, there is a kid's book called "Everybody Poops" that is great for kids that are either learning to potty train or are scared to go.

Answer 3

I have been there. I know it is hard!!! Good for you for going to your dr for help and I am sorry the supoitories did not help. My daughter was the same way.
We wrapped little presents and gave her one when she went. Try not to make a big deal out of it if he goes because if he is already afraid it might make him even more nervous. Just put the gift where he can see it near the bathroom and maybe even where he can see it in the bathroom.
An example is if he likes spiderman get a little spiderman toy and wrap it in spiderman paper. (make it irrestiable.) Tell him as soon as he poops it is his. I also made the first few gifts really big and cool and then toned it down once she was hooked into the game. We finished the gift process after about 2 weeks when she was used to going potty. we gave her one big last really cool gift for staying clean for 2 weeks and it was over.
We came upon this after 4 months of pooping in underwear so you are still way ahead of me!! Good luck! Let us know if it works

Answer 4

you gave him a suppository? that's ridiculous. So if you were afraid of heights or water, it'd be OK for someone to push you off of a building or throw you in a pool? Your child has a fear. Regardless of how petty you think it is, it's a legitimate fear to him. He's going to the potty when he has to pee, I hope you're at least encouraging him & praising him for that! It's perfectly normal for a child that age to be afraid to have a BM in the potty. It's a normal occurence for them to hide from you when they are having a BM. Sometimes, they'll even try to hold it in. But you should never force them to go. Now he's probably going to take even longer to want to go on his own.

Answer 5

My son and daughter( and many other children) have had this issue. What worked REALLY well for my kids is to show them the calendar and say " Everytime you go poo on the potty I am going to put a sticker on that day...and once you get 5 stickers than we will do .......) you fill in the blank with a reward your child likes. I tell you it worked wonders...my kids got excited to tell me they had to go and liked putting the sticker on when they were done.

Answer 6

I had the EXACT same problem. You know what the problem was? It was ME. Not to get down on you or anything, but I was so pushy about it and I put way too much pressure on my child, so it became scary. Just let him be about it a little bit more and he should come around on his own.

Answer 7

Just be sure to offer lots of praise when he does. Toilet training can be stressful, but he will get used to the idea soon enough. And like the person before me said... let him see daddy do it... take him along when you go.

Answer 8

Maybe he didn't like the sensation of it dropping away from his body- maybe the water splashed and hit him and he doesn't like it...
Just by getting him to do it more often will lessen his fears about it.
Stand close enough to give him hugs and reassure him that nothing will happen to him.

Huge 'thumbs-up' to Princess J!

Answer 9

Give him some apple juice every day to make sure it doesn't hurt. Do NOT give him suppositories!

Answer 10

Let him see his daddy do it first.