My ex thinks we should wait.. please read all. don't be rude.?

Question

I don't know why I am asking this on yahoo answers. I mean it is probably obvious that no one knows my circumstances with my ex so they will probably bash us. If you don't have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. My ex and I have been through a lot. All I can say is that he is not ready for us to be "together" right now because things haven't changed since we broke up. he still wants us to talk and work on things, but he says we need to wait. he says he doesn't want anyone else and that he doesn't want us to see other people, but if I do, that he will understand. He says if I see other people he won't stay single anymore because he will know it isn't meant to be. I really love this man and I want to wait, but I know I can't wait forever. I have done a lot of things to push him back everytime he seems like he is feeling comfortable. He question things and I worry a lot and he feels like sometimes he makes things worse for me. He has told me that he is not saying we won't get

get back together until a certain time. he just knows right now we aren't ready. He is afraid we will ruin our chances if we get back together too soon. like rushing it. Like I said we broke up 7 months ago and we still talk, but everytime I think he gets close, I push him more away. I lovehim so much, and there is so much more to this than what I have said. He really is a great guy. we have a lot of history and I know he isn't wantitng to hurt me. I just want to know if anyone else has been in this situation. I can't do anything but think of him. my life is consumed with him. I have lost touch of reality.

Answer 1

I understand what you're going thur since i was in a similar sitiuation myslef but i think it might be best for you to start thinking of a way to get over him. If he really loved you, he would want you to be happy and it seems to me that the fact that he's not willing to be with you, doesn't really say much of his love for you. Don't get me wrong ,i know that men and women sometimes want time to think about the relationship, but sometimes men or women say that just to have the other person on the side waiting for them. It sounds to met hat you really love this guy and he should be happy to have you.. But since he's not treating you the proper way you deserve then may be the best thing for you to do is start getting your mind of him. You don't want to wake up tomorrow and get a invitation from him saying his getting married!
Just let him know how much he means to you and how much you mean to yourself and let him know that you can't wait. It's been too long, if he wanted you, he would have been there 6 months ago. My sitiuation was like that till recently when my ex and i got back together and got engaged..
So don't be discourage but at the same time, please don't wait for the sun to go down while he's having fun... Protect yourself and let him know where you stand and what he wants from you. Make it clear and let him know that waitng outside like a dog for him to get out of the gorcery store is not an option..
I hope this hepls and do take care of yourself :-)

Answer 2

Well he sounds like a smart guy, so what are you worried about? You said, "I don't want to wait forever" BUT the truth is the more you put off working on yourself the longer it will be till the two of you are back together! Really this sounds more like the both of you are still together, he just wants to take a little break so you can both mature a little more on your own... you see what I am saying? He just wants you to take this time to deal with your issues so when he comes back into your life it will all work out and you won't be pushing him away anymore.
I really hope you can make the most of the time this man is giving you, it's actually one of the sweetest things I've ever heard, because alot of men would just push and push and push and never give you your space! So you are very lucky! Use this time wisely, and good luck.

Answer 3

Take the time. I know it's frustrating, but it's a good thing. You can take the time to work on yourself. When you say you push him away, is it because you want and want and want more than he is ready to give? Give it time. While you working on you, starting reading some books, go out with some girlfriends, get some pedicures, join a club or a gym. He will not want you if you continue to get "consumed" in this relationship. A man wants someone with their own life, where the man doens't have to worry about entertaining or having someone ALWAYS there. You don't have to meet anyone. If you wait, and still hang out every once in a while and talk to him, he will see that you do truly want him and are willing to go his pace. But...if it's one of the things where they are only stringing you along, do you really want that. I say, take time to meditate and learn the new you...if you can't wait for him, you will push him away and not have ANYTHING. Good luck. I know it's hard, I have been there, but you can do it. Especially if your happiness is the justified end.

Answer 4

Well as far as you not wanting anyone to say anything negative you don't need to ask your question on here, because there is people that will give you a negative response, like it or not.

That doesn't make any sense, he doesn't want you to go with anyone else, and he doesn't want to be with you..? Then what's the point of waiting. 7 months should've been enough time for him to get his thoughts and feelings together. You don't have time to wait forever on him and I hope you told him that, you have a life of your own. You can't be sitting around waiting on him, when you could have a fantastic relationship with some else. If he reeeally cares and loves you he would've been said let's try to make it work one more time, and if it does it's true.

Answer 5

well, unless you are hearing voices and believe that the FBI is wiretapping your house and the TV is talking to you, I think you are still in touch with reality ;)

go to counseling. Go by yourself first. It helps - I've gone to a therapist for dating issues, and, it helped me SO much to have an unbiased 3rd party coach me through the situation. Obviously your situation is very complicated and there are a lot of things drawing you to this man, but at the same time there are a lot of problems making you doubt your future with him. It's not going to be resolved simply, and you need some support, a mentor on your side, to help you through this. A counselor really can make all the difference.

Answer 6

look, first, why do you push him away if he gets close or comfortable? if there are things that need to be worked on, try to work on them... maybe you both need to grow as individuals more so when you are together you both bring equal things to the relationship... if you're both waiting, and not being with anyone else.... then really think of it this way.. you're in relationship... you both should be growing in one way or another.. and if you guys see each other and everything is still the same, then it won't work...

Answer 7

in my opinion, telling you to not date other people is selfish. i know just the thought of seeing each other with other people is going to hurt, but like you said you can't wait for him forever. if it's time he needs, then give him time, but he shouldn't stop you from moving on. i'm not saying you should just forget about him and see other people, just that you should do what you please. if there's someone your interested in or vice versa, give it a chance, it won't hurt. don't revolve your self around him. as a "friend" both of you need to be more understanding and supportive of each other. let him do his thing while you do yours, and in the end if its really meant to be, you guys will find each other again.

Answer 8

Wow 7 months apart that is quite awhile. You sound like a committed person to wait for this guy. Please take your feelings and needs seriously. There are guys who do not fear commitment and would probably be able to make you happy and bring you back to reality. Life is short, share yours with someone who wants to share theirs. Unless this guy is serving in the military overseas there is no reason for the 7 months.

Answer 9

i have been there sounds like exactly like what i went through with my bf..we broke up and he told me the same thing that we should wait..its not something that you can control though..if space is what he needs then u need to give it to him..u shouldnt wait forever for a guy even if you really love him..u need to get on with your life and start thinking of you and your future even if it is without him..live ur life and when he is ready then he will come back but dont sit and wait for it to come bc u will just stress ur self out even more..be a friend to him tho mabye there is something that he needs to get out of his system..u cant force him to be ready to get back together as much as u would like it bc if you keep tyring then u will eventually push him away for good..if u feel that u need to date then go ahead if u are not ready then dont..i started moving on with my life bc i was in the same boat as u at one time and he came back and things are great now we talked through our problems and solved most of them and things couldnt be better..good luck i wish u the best

Answer 10

u guys definitely need a long break. the best thing you guys can do is completely stay away from each other for a good 6 months. during those 6 months it would be nice if you guys chat on the phone maybe once a week for a little bit.