My best friend is getting married in a little over a month and I was originally planning on bringing my boyfriend.... but then we broke up.... it was a bad break up.....
But THEN we reconciled and we're cool now (not back together, but cool)....
my best friend has always had a problem with ALL the guys I date... and she knows about the break up, she knows I was upset, but she doesn't know the whole situation....
When I told her that we were talking again and that he was going to take me to her wedding again she flat out told me that he wasn't allowed at her wedding.....
She BASICALLY told me to chose between her and him.
Me and him have realized how immature we acted during the break up and have come to the conclusion that we are going to work hard at fixing what we screwed up. We're being mature about it, and for her to do that is throwing a bolt into some smooth working gears.....
What should I do about her telling me he can't come.... then I have NO one to come....
2007-07-17 05:25:12 · 17 answers · asked by Katia 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If it were me, I would not have said your bf cannot come. It was pretty un-friend-like of her to do that, although I do believe in her mind she is trying to protect you. Now you are being the mature one, so dont cause a fuss, she may come around when she sees how smoothly you are getting along.
2007-07-17 05:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
It is not necessary to bring a person along w you to a wedding. I'd say go and have a good time at the wedding, you're still happy your friend is getting married, right? That's what the wedding is about, celebrating their new relationship... She may even be worried you guys will have drama there and she doesn't want it at their wedding. I'd just say keep the two of them as far apart as possible, after the wedding, work on prospering your relationship w him, the new bride to be will probably be busy handling other things. Ultimately, it's your life, but that day, it's their wedding..
2007-07-17 05:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by happily married ( : 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to break it to you, but your friend has every right to say that someone is NOT allowed to attend her wedding.
If you and your boyfriend are really being so much more mature these days, you should be able to explain the situation to him and he should understand. Just explain that your friend is unhappy about the drama you two have had lately and she'd prefer if he didn't attend the wedding. You can either go alone or try to find a male friend to be your escort. Don't worry about going alone, I'm sure you know other people there and will have plenty of people to talk to.
2007-07-17 05:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by corinne1029 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 14:51:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No honey, she didn't tell you to choose between her and him... she BASICALLY told you that it's HER wedding, and so she gets to decide who's invited. When you get married, you can invite or exclude whoever you want, and so can she. She doesn't like him, so obviously he shouldn't be at her wedding - the day is not about you, it's about her. He's not even your boyfriend! Do you have any idea how rude it is to randomly invite your friends (ex boyfriends or anyone else) to someone else's wedding? Plus, during the reception, you'll be sitting with the wedding party, so it's not like you'll be all by yourself. Stop being selfish and allow your friend to enjoy her day HER way.
2007-07-17 05:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's not asking you to chose between the two of them, she's asking that you don't bring drama to her wedding, which she has a right to do. And going to a wedding alone is not the end of the world. You'll know people there and you'll have fun anyway. If he was that much drama, you have to understand where your friend is coming from, and know that she is looking out for you.
2007-07-17 05:51:04 · answer #6 · answered by Allison L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a big difference between saying your boyfriend isn't allowed to come and making you choose him or her. since her wedding is so close, she's probably already made final decisions on her guest list and seating arrangements, and those decisions were most likely made during your breakup. most likely, this isn't as personal as you're making it out to be. actually, since you're not in a serious long term comitted relationship, she's not obligated to invite him anyway. just let it go, this is your best friend's wedding, certainly there must be some other guests there you can mingle with, it's really not a big deal if you don't take him.
2007-07-17 05:34:03 · answer #7 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I mean you have to respect the brides wishes. This is her day and the last thing that you want to is to add drama to it. So just don't invite him, if he asks why tell him the truth. If you acts all irate because he can't go then maybe you need to back away from him in a while. The bride has the right to choose who she wants at her wedding.
2007-07-17 05:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, this is HER wedding, she's probably paying for it, and she has the right to invite (or not to invite) whomever she wants. If she doesn't want your on again boyfriend there, you need to honor that request, and explain to him that he can't be there.
She's not asking you to choose between her and him, she's telling you he's not welcome at her wedding. If he can't be mature enough to get over that (I'm assuming he's not close to her) then maybe you need to rethink the relationship with him.
Having said that, it was very rude of her to "uninvite" your boyfriend after previously inviting him. She may have though (I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt here) after you guys broke up, adjusted her numbers of who to invite, and invited someone else.
Take the high road here, go to her wedding, meet up with your boyfriend afterwards somewhere. It's her wedding in the end. You'll understand more when it's your wedding. You can have both, you just have to be an adult about it.
2007-07-17 05:31:40 · answer #9 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Although you are eager to work things out with your man, please remember that the special day belongs to the bride and groom. If the bride has explicitly stated that she does not want him to attend, you should probably respect her decision. Remember, she is the one who is paying!
Perhaps you can either go by yourself or ask a close friend to join you for the wedding?
As a friend, don't add to the bride-to-be's emotional burden. She is dealing with a lot right now, and may or may not be seeing your situation very clearly.
2007-07-17 05:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she's trying to protect you by discouraging the relationship that has hurt you in the past. I think she's trying to be a good friend to you, even if it's coming out in a difficult way.
Well, it is HER wedding. She doesn't have to invite him if she doesn't want him there.
Ask her if you can bring a male buddy as your "date" for the night. Preferably somebody already invited whom you both know and both have fun with. Tell boyfriend to behave himself whenever he is around the bride and give her time to learn that your relationship is back on track. Maybe she'll relent.
2007-07-17 05:36:22 · answer #11 · answered by sparki777 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋