Are strippers/hookers common at bachelor parties? Is cheating on your fiance?

Question

I read what people write about their bachelor parties on here and I get worried. I couldn't imagine my fiance going out with the purpose of being turned on by the naked body of a whore, or anything worse. It would kill me inside and I would have trouble feeling the same way for him ever again, and all trust would be lost, something very important for sustaining your relationship....

I do trust him, it's the hoochies who push themselves onto the drunk bachelors and the group of guys pushing him to cheat in celebration of his last single night that I don't trust... way too much pressure from everyone around him.

If the guy has been a faithful loving partner up to this point and is madly in love with their girl, why do his friends expect and push him to cheat? Do strippers usually try to hook up with your man on their night? Has anyone else dealt with this situation, if so how? What makes a guy cheat on this night? How can these hoochies be so disrespectful?

Answer 1

I totally agree that strippers and hookers are just, plain and simply put, whores.

If a woman can read and write, then she can get into college (with or without loans and get a respectable job. It makes me angry to think about the girls out there that have a need for dirty old men to look at (and sometimes touch) them.

Some of my guy friends have had their parties at strip clubs, and even though they might not "want" to participate, guys are influenced by their friends in situations such as this one. My friends that have gone have had lap dance after lap dance and more at their parties. My fiance told his brothers immediately that he wanted no party at all, completely on his own with nothing said from me. He is absolutely wonderful, and I wish that every woman could have a man like him.

If he did feel the need to go and do something like that, we wouldn't be getting married. Trust issue or not, he wouldn't want the situation reversed on him.

Answer 2

His friends arrange the bachelor party. If he does not want strippers or whores at the party he needs to tell them. You are not allowed to touch a stripper. I doubt a man in love would have sex with a prostitute. I think it is rare that a man will cheat the night before his wedding. When I was in college I was at a club and this guy was having his bachelor party and I think he kissed every girl in that club. He was very drunk and gushing about his fiancé' and getting married but he was Mr. Kissy Kissy

Answer 3

Strippers are common at bachelor parties. I don't think that they should be. The men do push the groom to have fun it's your last night, but usually it's because they are single themselves. It is the groom's decision though on whether he is going to take it any further. I don't think that the stripper's care on way or the other so it has to be up to the man to say, how far to go.

Answer 4

There are several questions here...
First of all, I don't believe friends truly expect and push the bachelor to cheat. It is more like the friends want him to have one last moment of wildness before marriage, Its hard to make women understand what I would truly call a "guy thing".

I think most strippers DONT try to hook up with your man, but certainly they will get them to the limit, cause after all... the more willing your man is .. the more money the stripper will get.
you know... i must say this answer could really vary depending on the type of crowd each person hangs out with, I certainly feel like if my friends got me some strippers for my bachelor party, they wouldn't allow me to do something I would regret after wards.
what makes a guy cheat?... well if they cheat, I think it is simply cause of the fact there is a hot naked body teasing you, plus you probably have some alcohol in your system. that's one hard thing to resist, and can make you forget about how deeply you love your fiance for a few moments.
lastly... The "hoochies" are disrespectful because that's how they will earn their money, and as long as they get paid well for doing it, they will keep doing it!..

It really all comes down to the personality of your fiance and how much he can be influenced by that kind of thing!...
good luck!

Answer 5

Hookers are neither common, nor are they legal. If there are hookers at your husband's bachelor party, trying to get him to cheat on you, and he does, the issue lies with HIM, and you would be well within your rights to leave him holding the bill up at the alter -- alone.

I think the engagement period should set the precedence for the marriage, so I don't consider the bachelor party as a kind of "night off" from a faithful, loving relationship.

Also, because I think it's important to talk things out AFTER you're married, I think you should talk to your fiancee. Don't be demanding, but simply tell him what your fears are about the bachelor party and what all you've heard. It could very well be that he could say "Honey, all we're doing is going over to (a friend's) house and having a few beers and playing poker." Even if there is a stripper planned, knowing that you're worried about it could be something that really pushes him to behave himself, if for some reason he may have misbehaved before.

Telling him it worries you is not controlling, possessive, manipulative, demanding, keeping him on a leash, keeping him from having fun, or anything else like that. It is open communication, a cornerstone of a good marriage. If you aren't free to tell your fiancee that something, especially something valid like this, bothers you, then you need to rethink marriage.

I used to wait tables with a woman who doubled as a stripper. The money was good. That was her ONLY motivation. She actually didn't date often, she NEVER slept with anyone she stripped for, and she said she would have found a way to inform the bride if the fiancee did seriously try to cheat.

No, cheating is not that common. Most guys I know would not push their friend, on the eve of their wedding, to cheat on the bride. Most guys I know do not view their bachelor party as an opportunity to cheat, guilt-free.

Quite honestly, if your fiancee or his friends invite a hooker, it is them, not the hooker, who is being disrespectful. To her, it's more about money than it is about sex. Most actual prostitutes will not turn down good money on moral grounds, because their profession, in general, is considered immoral. Honestly, I've never known a guy who would hire a prostitute for their friend on their bachelor night.

If you trust your fiancee, trust him. Tell him you trust him, but that you're worried. If he's the great guy you believe him to be, he'll keep you in the forefront of his mind that night. Even if he's temporarily entertained by a stripper, he'll come faithfully back to you for the rest of his life.

However, a lot of guys I know, when faced with the reality that their fiancee is really nervous, don't want to take the chance of hurting her over something they really don't care about -- and a lot of guys really don't care about having a stripper at a bachelor party.

Here are some bachelor parties of people I know:

My husband -- he and his best friend and brother went over to his best friend's house, ordered pizza, and played Ace Combat and watched Star Wars (okay, they're nerds, I'm okay with that LOL)

One brother-in-law -- went to a bar (not stripper bar, just a regular one) and had a few drinks with friends, then had a basketball tournament

The other brother-in-law -- went to a friend's house, did get drunk, but according to the friend's wife, there were no other women there, and they just sat around hanging out and having beers

My cousin -- he and his friends had a poker night

My best friend's husband -- his friend had originally planned for a stripper, but when he realized my friend was nervous about it, they decided against that and instead went to a pro sporting event (which, oddly enough, I think he may have been more excited about.........)

Answer 6

I think bachelor parties are a misconception for all. First of all not every bachelor party has to have a stripper. My husband went golfing and for his best friend's wedding he went camping. No strippers and they had a lot of fun. BUT if his friends got him a stripper, doesnt mean they want him to cheat on you. Most strippers come with a body guard so things dont get out of hand.

Answer 7

It's not the girls who are the disrespectful ones - it's the guys who PUT THEMSELVES in the position. A mature guy pretty much doesn't go for this old cliche of a bachelor party with strippers, etc. Usually it's a bunch of dudes who get together to play poker, golf, etc. just to talk and have a few drinks.

Answer 8

The bachelor party is designed to be the guy’s one last fling at being single. But it’s not designed to allow him to sow his oats (as they say) for one last time. I believe it’s the company he keeps when attending this party and which one of his friends is throwing it for him. A woman and a man who are planning to get married should know their partner’s friends as well as their partner does. It’s a matter of trust, but the drinking part tends to lend a blind eye to trust in many cases.

During some bachelor parties there are strippers, but I wouldn’t call them whores. Men (Chippendales) do the same thing at bachelorette parties. Is it wrong for them to touch the guy or the guy to touch the stripper? I would say no, but it is wrong to have any kind of sex with that person, which I don’t think happens that often.

It’s something that should be discussed with you and your fiancé. But be warned, this could lead to a mistrust situation and your man feeling he is being dominated. It’s a time where a man or woman is placed between a rock and a hard place. Just make sure you have someone who you can trust (one of his friends) to keep him and his possibly (drunken horny) mind on his REAL partner in life.

Answer 9

It's only common for the ppl who are not solely dedicated to his partner.. Something I've seen happen a lot is the husband and wife to be plan the parties together, for instance, for him they plan a guys night of poker, for her they plan a girls night of maybe drinking and dancing, or time at the spa.. Not all friends push them to cheat, real friends don't do that either... I wouldn't worry about it too much if you are certain about your guy, yeah some ppl are very wrong in how they conduct themselves at their parties, but that is up to them, you just got to account for you.

Answer 10

The dancers are for the groom. Thats why it is called a bachelor party. The last night of unmarried life before a brutal divorce.

As far as the sex goes. Find your fiances best single friend to worry about the stripper if things get out of hand. He would have to be an asshole to **** a stripper the day before the wedding. Getting a lapdance is one thing but actually sleeping with one... If you're getting married to him you should probably trust him more than that.