i was invited to a wedding and it's this weekend, but my husband can not come with me. it is out of town and about 6 hours away, should i still go or should i excuse myself with the couple and not go? the groom is my friend, but he invited the two of us and wants us to attend. what should i do?
2007-07-17 04:06:39 · 22 answers · asked by Erica C 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
In all honesty it's rather late notice for both you and your husband to cancel out on this wedding....don't forget - that's two people the couple will have paid for unnecessarily.
If your husband is unable to attend and you feel unsure about driving 6 hours alone, see if you can get a girlfriend to go to the wedding with you. This is perfectly reasonable, but if you're unsure, a quick call to the groom to check it's okay would be in order. He shouldn't find any problem with it - he's already paid for two people and two people will be attending. If he says he doesn't like the idea, then at that point it is perfectly acceptable to say "then I hope you understand that I don't feel comfortable attending alone and will be unable to attend". But don't forget to send your gift !
2007-07-17 06:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by joesgrl90 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a shame, wedidings are expensive affairs and it is not intended as a slur on anyone but a means of keeping costs realistic and affordable. Weddings and similar family orientated functions always seem to "upset" someone or other. I know this is your sister you are talking about and its upsetting for you, however if that is their choice you may have to accept it. Have you tried to explain to your sister about the cost and numbers? A childs future is more important than getting in to silly amounts of debt. I hope you manage to either resolve this with your sister or come to accept that they are'nt gonna be there. You invite 1 cousin, you have to invite them all and before you know it you have an extra 20+ guests. Is your daughter having a disco/buffet function on the evening that the rest of the family could come too? May solve a few problems. All the best with this one, we had my daughters christening last year and upset a couple of people over our choices of godparents. You can't please everyone and its important that this doesn't affect you daughter and future son-in-laws day. Its their choice who they do and don't invite. It'll also be a different matter if/when your Sister's children get married as your sister will then understand the stress and upset that goes with wedding plans etc..... Maybe you should point that out to her.
2016-04-01 08:35:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not like to drive alone, then you should call the groom, explain that an emergency came up that is preventing your husband from attending (if that is the truth of the matter)and so you will not be able to attend.
Did you RSVP a yes for both of you, and then your husband changed his mind? If that is the case, you should go anyway, as long as it does not cause problems with your husband.
Weddings are planned in advance, which means you had to be planning on either going or not going before now, so look at why he can't go and make your decision accordingly.
2007-07-17 04:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this friend is your friend and you have no other obligations, you should go. If my friend canceled on me simply because her husband couldn't go I'd be upset. He invited you and your husband, not the married couple as one entity. Besides, what is six hours between friends? That's really not that bad of a car ride. If you want company, car pool with someone else going to the wedding or call the groom and ask if you can bring someone else.
If this friend is a mutual friend and you have no other obligations, you should go with your husband's regrets.
If this friend is your husband's friend, it would be fine to bow out gracefully and send your regrets.
Regardless, you should still give a nice wedding gift from both of you.
2007-07-17 04:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by fiercelingua 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have already RSVP'd to the wedding (which would have been the polite thing to do), you should make every effort to be there. The couple has created plans for the number of people whom have indicated they would be attending the event, and by not coming, that could cause some difficulty. Then again, it seems at every event now-a-days there are people showing up who didn't bother to RSVP and weren't planned for. It's a once in a lifetime event, we hope, so I'd make the trip, personally.
2007-07-18 11:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the groom is your friend then you should go even if your husband can't - I assume for work committments. Just tell your friend at the wedding and take lots of photos so your husband doesn't feel left out.
2007-07-18 04:06:13 · answer #6 · answered by i love my garden 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to go to the wedding? Are you ok with travelling that far alone to attend this wedding? This is what you should be asking yourself. If you want to go, there is no reason why you shouldn't. If you don't want to go since you'd be going without your husband, just excuse yourself and don't go. I'm sure they'll understand.
2007-07-17 04:17:18 · answer #7 · answered by undir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go. But, then again, even though I love my husband, I do not define myself by him and I count on the fact that my friends and family like me for me, and not just because he is there. When my husband can't make it to a wedding, I let them know that I will be there single, but I still go. I am not going to give up the fun of seeing my friends be married just becuase my hubby is not there!
2007-07-17 04:22:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be an independant woman and go by yourself, regardless of whatever reason your husband has concocted to get out of the event. There is nothing wrong with showing up to party alone, but there is a lot of shame attached to not being able to spend a day away from him.
Have you considered asking a girlfriend to go instead as your date? The you don't have to travel by yourself and can have a really great girls' night out.
2007-07-17 04:29:03 · answer #9 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound as if you are comfortable going it alone. I would stay home, call the groom and explain the situation. Six hours is a long drive to do alone, not to mention the trip home afterwards. He will understand. Invite him and his new wife to a nice dinner while you are on the phone, make it for after they return from their honeymoon, it will soften the blow of your not being able to attend.
2007-07-17 04:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋