How to stop being bitter?

Question

My sister-in-law and I used to have a great relationship, until I was pregnant with my son. Her brother and I were just engaged, and within 3 months she had raced to the alter to be the first to marry.

When we became pregnant with our second in January, she turned even more hard to deal with. We have been walking on pins and needles, and her mother is only slightly better. It's been so hard to enjoy or even discuss or enjoy the pregnancy.

Now she's pregnant, which is a great thing! However, part of me is selfish, hormonal and bitter. I feel incredibly jealous that her pregnancy is being celebrated while ours have always been pushed to the side to apease her attitude.

I went out and bought her some pregnancy gifts, but I am REALLY having trouble overcoming this bitterness. I mean, this is a woman who has never asked how we're doing and has even mentioned how FAT I've become since having a kid. Great times.

Any insight?

Oh and needless to say she called me Fat a few days ago--and I'm 8 months pregnant.

Answer 1

LOL, she sounds like a ray of sunshine. I know that it must be difficult for you. But you are blessed to be bringing life into this world. Some people will never know what that feels like. Some people will never know what it feels like to carry a child at all. I think that you should pay them no mind and celebrate the lives that you have in your life. The next time she calls you fat tell her what you feel. Maybe your husband should say something about it to them. And if that does not work distance yourself, begin to feed them with a long handled spoon and don't put anymore energy into the negativity. The bitterness will go away once you put things into perspective, right now you are feeling hurt maybe a little betrayed. That is understandable. The bitterness in all reality is pain that you are not treated fairly, you feel that they think of her as lobster and you as imitation crab. But you married your husband not his sister or his mother. The most important thing is that you are content with yourself at the end of the day, content with your job as a mother and a wife. Don't let them put a damper on your pregnancy. It is a beautiful thing.

Answer 2

obviously your sister-in law is a very jelous woman, she sounds vindinctive and cruel. i dont think there is anything you can do without creating problems within the family, but if it really bothers you that much, i would start by talking it through with your husband, then either you or him, or both of you, can ask to have a discussion with the woman. maybe with her husband also present so she doesnt fell ganged up on. having some kind of mediator present may also be a good idea.
remeber that it doesnt help that you are both pregnant and emotionally charged, it could easily turn into something nasty if you arent careful. maybe waiting until both of you have given birth and recovered a bit, when you are more emotionally stable, would be a good idea.

Answer 3

Goodness I am sorry for the unrest in your church!!! I hope you didn't abandon your church at a time when you were needed there so badly!!!! "If the Lord led you to it, He will lead you through it!" On the other hand, He always gives us a door out. If you could do nothing to help, then yes maybe you need to find another church!!!! Anger and bitterness are legitimate feelings and maybe another church family is what you need to get you over this. I hope you do find the right church. There are plenty of good church services on TV. Pastor Joel Olsteen, Arnold Murray, Joyce Meyers are some of my favorites. Hope I helped in some way!

Answer 4

You know, it sounds like you and your husband spend way too much time with his family. Make new friends, avoid her as much as possible. Be the bigger person in the situation.

My older sister was pissed that I got married first, so she went and got pregnant right after she got married so she could have the first grandchild. And the crazy thing is I don't even want kids yet.

Don't worry. Avoid her.

Answer 5

it's too bad that things have come this far....and there may not be a way to 'fix' things...but you both can improve your relationship...by seriously looking inside yourself to find out what your own issues are.....and just because your are sisters in law.....it does not mean you have to be close.....you married into this relationship....and you tried.....move on after you think you have really tried all to get past the bitterness....you should be happy for her and rise up and be the better person about it..

Answer 6

She just doesnt like the fact that your going to marry her brother (or already have). "If you go down with the dogs you'll get back up with fleas" so basically don't try to get even. be the good citizen. It may all work out in the end. Or she could just be a grumpy get. Either way good luck.

Answer 7

I think you should ignore her bitter attitude. Just rise above the pettiness and jealousy that she is showing. You can be the bigger person and ignore her insults. If she sees that it does not affect you, then maybe she will stop doing it.

Be happy that you and your husband are having a new addition to your family. Congrats.

Answer 8

Seriously this is a problem. well i have problems with my husband's fam too. and now i have just come to the point where if they say something i dont like i tell them. I dont say it nicely either. I have just had it with them so i tell it like it is. thats what you need to do. If your husband sees this behavior from his sister then he wont be mad at you and if he is then tell him how it is too. No one should make you feel bad about your baby or the life you live with your family. good luck

Answer 9

Why waste your energy on feelings about her at all? She is selfish and immature. Let it go.

Answer 10

Move out.