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During a recent book club meeting I gave an opinion of a novel's character that apprently upset someone in the discussion. This person than proceeded to correct my perception of how I experienced the book and character. In this, and similiar situations where one is ridicule in front of others, what is the best response? For the sake of the book club meeting not turning ugly, I kept my mouth shut. Then again, I regret not saying anything as well.

2007-07-17 03:22:17 · 20 answers · asked by R. Trout 5 in Society & Culture Etiquette

20 answers

I think that keeping silent about it could have been one of the best ways to deal with ridicule in that particular situation. But it could also be ok to point out to the person in a nice way, that that was the way you saw, the book, and therefore an opinion, and that he doesn't need to attack you personally just because you have different views on something. If you act mature, not only will you not lose yourself to aggravation, you will also gain respect from the ones who saw how gracefully you handled the situation.

2007-07-17 03:32:15 · answer #1 · answered by ScarletRaven 5 · 2 0

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2016-09-05 14:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by grewell 4 · 0 0

I applaud your classy behavior!

It is too bad that things got ugly, but the other person did not understand your critique as being your "perception". It wasn't anything that you were trying to convince people on, but just a perception on how you experienced the book and character.

You shouldn't have any ill feelings for being confronted like this. In a book club, there shouldn't be any outbursts or ridicule of anyone.

Keep up the good work, you are a better person for standing still and not ruffling your feathers.

2007-07-17 03:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 2 0

In my opinion, for what it is worth, you did the right thing. The other people of the book club will respect you for holding your cool and saying nothing. The person who wished to correct your perception will get their own back one day, 'what goes around comes around', rightfully they should have been perceived as a nasty belligerent kind of person. There is no need for personal attack, every one has their own interpretation of something, and you are MORE than entitled to YOUR opinion. You're the Hero for saving the book clubs day. Feel good about yourself. Cheers! Janet

Just read some other comments, when someone is particularly not nice to me, I am reeeally nice to them, human nature cannot handle it. It will p i s s them off big time.

2007-07-17 03:31:41 · answer #4 · answered by Janet B 5 · 0 0

That's the thing about books....Everyone can perceive plots and characters differently.
It could be that what you said offended the person on a personal level. They were the one being rude, and by staying quiet you were the "better person".
By staying quiet you probably avoided a very uncomfortable situation for the entire group. I find it hard myself to be in the same situation and stay quiet about it. I usually don't though, so good for you for having more will power than me!!! :)
If it bothers you that much, I would take the person aside, away from the group and explain everything. This could also be a chance for you two to learn a thing or two from each other. I find it fascinating how different people can perceive the same thing so differently.

2007-07-17 03:33:45 · answer #5 · answered by galapagos6 5 · 2 0

It wouldn't have created a scene if you had just said "Unless you are the author, all opinions are neither right or wrong. Isn't it the idea behind a book club to share our opinions and thoughts about the book under discussion? I am sharing mine and just because they don't mesh with yours, doesn't make me any more right or wrong than it makes you. I expect the same respect I give to you when you are sharing your opinions." You will have handled yourself in a mature and responsible manner and the perk is you make her look like an *** for ridiculing you.

2007-07-17 03:34:32 · answer #6 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 2 0

I don't believe that the person ridiculed you. She may have been a little rude pushing her perceptions of the novel but nothing particularly personal against you. As always with these clubs, it's all about interpretation. Say thank you for your interpretation, but I still read it differently.

2007-07-17 04:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0 0

one funny response when someone really gets after you in front of other people is to wait patiently until they are done and then say. "Don't hold back, tell us how you really feel" and then smile at the other people. This demonstrates to the person that you feel they were out of line and you expect that the rest of the group agrees with you. It puts them in an embarassing position without an unpleasant confrontation.

2007-07-17 03:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by John M 7 · 7 0

I think you were actually correct in saying nothing back. This would only have led to an argument which would have been inappropriate. If you wanted to say something perhaps a simple, well I guess I interpreted it diffrently than you would suffice.

2007-07-17 03:26:05 · answer #9 · answered by melissaw77 5 · 4 0

Just nod slightly and smile and you could address it or you could move on to the next person. If its debatable go on and debate it but if its personal attact just say thats your opinion or thank you. It'll just roll off your shoulders and that'll make em feel guilty and childish.

2007-07-17 03:38:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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