My soon to be husband and I have decided to invite all of our friends and family out to dinner to celebrate our engagement. We are working on a very limited budget, but we still want our family and friends included in our new beginning. We want to send invitations with the expectation that guests will be paying for their own meals. Is this in poor taste?
We'd put a $, $$ or $$$ sign on the invitation to indicate the price range the guests should be prepared for...
2007-07-17 03:06:49 · 46 answers · asked by Princesa Morenita 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
1. Rather than having them pay for their own meal, have the get together at your house (in garage, backyard, etc) and tell them to bring a dish to pass. It'll in effect be like them paying for their own dinner, but in a classy way.
2. $ $$ or $$$ means nothing to me, and unless it's a thing between you and your friends, I'd be a little more descriptive and to the point if you plan on doing it that way.
2007-07-17 03:12:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you can't afford to buy dinner, don't invite them to dinner. Have a party that you can afford and enjoy the event not because of how much it did or didn't cost, but because all of your family and friends can be there to celebrate with you.
A pay-for-your-own dinner party, just so you could celebrate in a fancy restaurant, would send the wrong signal to your family and friends and that is definitely not the way you want to start your new life together. Wouldn't you rather be known for your great parties where everyone felt right at home and had a wonderful time? Your family and friends will appreciate your sincerity.
2007-07-20 23:14:51 · answer #2 · answered by SailorsWife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is about as tacky as it gets. It is innappropriate, first off, to throw your own engagement party: this is a very new concept and something that should be done by one of your parents or another family member or friend. Your engagement is not a "new beginning" as you claim, but rather the start of your plans for the new beginning - ie, your marriage. Contrary to popular belief, engagement is not a stage of your relationship, but rather the period of preparation for the rest of your lives.
If you want to have some people go out to dinner so that you can show off your ring or something, then that's fine. But remember that it is then an opportunity for you to show off, and to ask people to pay for the chance to congratulate you is a bit much. Instead, consider taking to dinner only your parents and siblings; if you are planning a wedding and to buy a house, then surely you can afford a meal for six or seven people.
Otherwise, invite those close family members over for a bottle of champagne and send engagement announcements to everyone else. *That* is the correct way to spread your happy news.
2007-07-17 04:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For an engagement, yes. If you choose to have an engagement celebration, then you should really pay for it. I know it's expensive, but look at it from the other side, when someone you know gets married it's expensive for the guests too! You've got engagement gift, wedding gift, hen's/buck's night, bridal shower, clothes for the wedding....I don't think many people want to pay for their own dinner on top! If it's really an issue, you could compromise by either having everyone for dinner at home, which would still cost you less, or invite just family and very close friends to dinner. Congratulations on your engagement!
2007-07-17 04:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♥Mum to Superkids Baby on board♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ask your guests to help you foot the bill for your party, they are no longer your guests. They become co-hosts of the event, and as co-hosts, they have some say-so on how their money is to be spent. What if some of them don't like the restaurant you've chosen? What if they don't like the menu options? What if the proposed date / time doesn't work for everyone? Do you really want to open that can of worms? You'll never make it work so that everyone is happy with everything at the same time. And you do not get to take people's money and dictate the details on how it's spent to them. If that's what you thought could happen you have a lot of growing up to do.
2014-12-03 19:51:52 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not at all, but be sure to add the fact that you want each person to pay for there own meals, you can do this by selecting 3 to 4 items from the menu along with the price then simply ask each guest to circle the meal they would like on the invitation and send it back with there rsvp.
2007-07-17 03:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by oh_my_gosh_52577 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sometimes done in Australia, but I have never heard of it being done for an engagement, anyhow, over here, you put on the invitation, you want all your family and friends there to help you celebrate, and that no gift is necessary as their gift to you, would be their presence at your celebration. Choose a venue, and tell them in the invitation eg. 3 course dinner is $50 or whatever it is.
Moofer's idea is also excellent.
Janet
2007-07-17 06:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by Janet B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think it is tacky, and i wouldn't go. I would suggest that you have a cocktail hour, or a cake and coffee celebration that is within your budget that you can treat people to, instead of having them pay for something that they shouldn't have to. My brother and I had limited finances for a milestone Anniversary for my parents. We decided on what amount of money we had, and then took our relatives to dinner at a chinese place my parents loved, then we had a dessert bar and coffee and punch at my parents home for all the fmaily that was there and the neighbors and friends. I made several beautiful desserts, including an anniversary cake, and I had coffee and punch. Thye were thrilled and it was within our budget. An engagement party should be given by someone else, not by you....like your best friend or your folks. But don't be pretentious and have a big shin dig and ask others to pay for it! That is plain wrong in my book!
2007-07-17 04:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A celebration at home would be better on a limited budget. Maybe each could bring a dish and you could bear the expense for some of the expensive items and drinks. Its just not done to invite your guests to a restaurant for your celebration and then ask them to pay.
2007-07-17 05:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by David M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If "guests" are expected to pay, don't send formal invites. Just send out a letter or postcard note to those you'd like to have dinner with, and a note that you and your husband-to-be will be enjoying a meal at such and such restaurant, date, time, etc., to celebrate your upcoming marriage, and would love to be joined by family and friends. Let them know that due to budget constraints, you won't be able to provide a formal dinner for everyone, but those who wish to join you (and pay for their own meals) are welcome. Additionally, if you could come up with the money for some type of gesture such as buying a round of appetizers for the table, you might put something in the note like, "Appetizers are on us," that way people will know you're just trying to budget accordingly for your new life, not just "being cheap." Best of luck!
2007-07-17 05:11:07 · answer #10 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are formally inviting people out for dinner to celebrate your engagement, etiquette says you pay for the evening.
If you are just casually saying to everyone "hey, let's all go out to dinner some time" then there's no problem in expecting everyone to pay their own way.
If you are that tight on money, though, the best thing you can do is have a simple, elegant dinner at your home to celebrate.
2007-07-17 03:23:30 · answer #11 · answered by joesgrl90 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋