Is it wrong?

Question

to put up a wall around your heart? I just never want to be hurt again. Everytime I have let someone in, they have just crushed me.

Answer 1

You think I would've done the exact same thing. All I ever WAS was crushed.... so many guys have crushed my heart, manipulated me, played games with my heart. The worst pain I felt was 3 months ago: I was with someone for over a year and talked about marriage and everything. And then he goes off and neglects me... and cheats on me.

But I used my experiences to build from it... to learn from it. I am a stronger, better, free-er person now. And I know God will give me someone in His time. Just have faith in Him.

It's good that you're atleast cautious. Don't easily fall in love. Don't have high expectations either.

Answer 2

It's not wrong per se but if you start to become bitter & mean, then it can be a problem. I truly do understand what you mean about putting up a wall b/c you don't seem to know when it's ok to trust others since you've been let down. However, don't put your wall up so high that you alienate yourself from others. Still enjoy good conversation, just becareful and watchful of your emotions. And don't become bitter. Don't allow what one has done to hamper your future. When the right person comes along, those bricks around your heart will be chipped away.

Answer 3

Hey Jen, You've said before that u don't think u'll ever find love. If u put up a wall, do u really think u'r EVER going to find someone. I understand u'r sick and tired of being hurt. and it's more than ok to look out for #1, just do it the right way.
Walls are hard to build... piece by piece, and if it's not built correctly, it won't stand the test of time; and to tear it down can only take one false swoop.
The real trick is to just not get sucked in by anyone who comes along. Allow u'r self some time to get to know someone before u date them. Talk to them on the phone or IM or Email. And when u do start to date them, keep the slow pace. You're gonna be fine. If u decide to go with the wall, leave some room for a window at least. That way when the right guy does come along; he will at least get a peak at why you're right for him.

Answer 4

Reflect - what do they all have in common. Be serious in protecting your emotions. Giving and not receiving will deplete your emotional energy and you will end up having a wall around your heart and when someone who is compatible comes along you wont give him the time of day. You might even end up using him and he gets punished for all the others who have hurt you. Be aware of the type you fall for. Learn from past experience and you will be wiser in your future choice. Best wishes.

Answer 5

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Building a wall around your heart so that you avoid being hurt is not a good thing to do at least that’s been my experience. Yea getting hurt really suks, but lessons that can be learned from being hurt (if you so choose to see them) are invaluable. Remember this other old cliché what does not kill us will only make us stronger. We must get hurt in order to learn and grow fact of life I’m afraid. It would be shameful to stick our heads in the sand and not experience the pain of growth.

Good luck

Answer 6

No sweetie it's not wrong, it's you trying to protect yourself which is understandable given what you've been through. If you forget about dating for awhile and "find yourself" (yeah I know that sounds stupid) - work on your career, education, fitness, whatever you'll see down the track that you are confident enough to give it another go. There's nothing like realising that you like yourself and can rely on yourself and be alone to make you attractive to a partner - and it means you'll know that if you do let someone in, you can live without them quite happily. Good luck.

Answer 7

Go ahead and put up a wall, but leave room for a gate as it might get lonely in there.

Answer 8

I would not say it is wrong exactly, but you gotta look at it this way:
Is being loved worth giving up for idiots who hurt you?
Is being alone and full of self doubt worth it?

HUH! I think not, sorry to the losers who lost ya and try try again!

Answer 9

you will end up miserable if you do that trust me done that and it does not work well you end up pushing the people who care about you away

Answer 10

it's not wrong, but you have to realize you will end up keeping out good and bad people. it's good to be protective of yourself but don't go overboard.