My husband and I have 4 kids, my mom is a widow. she was living alone in this 5 bedroom house, lost her job. she wanted me to buy her house for a small amount. so she deeded the house to us and we took out home improvement loan to give her the amount she wanted and make some repairs. she now moved in with her sister and telling everyone how we screwed her on the house and bad mouthing my husband about how he needs to get a job. he work out of the house he has a computer company with DBA and all. My brother is in and out of jail and she gives him everything. I charge some stuff on her credit cards before and was paying the bill each month now come to find out she went and charge alot of stuff for my brother is is getting out of jail next week. I dont feel like I should have to pay the bill on the credit cards if this stuff for my brothers. she is always trying to hurt me the bad thing is we live like 6 blocks apart. any advice on what to do..
2007-07-17 02:22:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When she wants my help or needs someone to do something for she always calls my husband and myself. Well I have just this year told her no more, I was done with all the B/S that she is telling everyone.. She drinks all the time now. She has stuff still in the house like some of her furniture and lawn stuff. we have told her to come pick it up but she said she will get it when she wants to get it.. I want that stuff out so that I can move on with my life with my family and kids. I don't fight in front of my kids with her but she trys to call the time..
She has given me stuff in the past for x-mas and have taken it back too. I just dont think she loves me. It hurts so bad, I'm the only girl. and she treats me like this. My brother is always in trouble with the law for drugs and she does anything and everything from him and dont expect him to pay her back for anything.. just dont understand about to have a stroke over the stress and i'm only 37 years old. with 2 small children.
2007-07-17 02:44:37 · update #1
we have gone 6 months without talking, so mother's day rolled around I sent her a card and gift then we started talking slow again, but now my brother is getting out of jail and I refuse to let him stay with me she is bad mouthing my family and me about the house and everything. I'm so sick of this and I refuse to move out of my town because she is so unhappy with her life.. I told her when I gave her the money she wanted for the house that she could live with me for the rest of her life and not worry about anything..
2007-07-17 02:47:06 · update #2
We bought the house from her gave her the cash money so moving out and giving it back to her is out of the question i have been paying on a loan for over 1 and half now.. she wanted me to buy it from her i did..
2007-07-17 04:43:17 · update #3
And I dont get money from her, the credit cards are things she card that I was nice enough to take over the payments on some of the cards yes I charge on two of them and taking care of what i owe. but I dont get money from her for anything. I work full time and so does husband we dont need her help.. its the other way around on help, she needs us more than we will need her. but she has burned that bridge to me.
2007-07-17 04:45:26 · update #4
You poor thing. I know what it's like to have a mother like that....except we live with her and take care of her. If you have problems now...DON'T let her move in with you, as it will only get worse.
Parent's can be wierd. Some of them even think that the child owes them a debt just because they brought the child into the world and raised them. I have no problems helping out occasionally, but when it starts to interfer with your spouse and kids, then it has gone to far. They are demanding too much, and not respecting you and your family. That's when you have to draw the line and set the rules.
For starters, the only way you can get her off your back about the house, is to move out of it, and deed it back to her. I know that's not always an option.
For the credit cards, pay off what you charged to it, and no more....don't use it ever again.
As for your so called "out of work husband", all you guys can do is keep her out or your finances. If you can live without borrowing money from her, then she shouldn't have anything to talk about. As for always calling him to do something for her, once brother is out of jail tell her to call him as your husband is busy working. Sounds like she's wanting a husband figure to complain about, but do everything for her, so if the brother is such a good person, then he can do it.
Important thing is to keep her out of your finacial, and personal lives...then you can get a long better.
2007-07-17 04:28:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best advice i can give....never do any kind of business with family, also don't accept help from your mom with credit cards or anything like that. Some people LOVE to give nice things to their children, but when they get pissed, you become the a s s ...you help your mom out by not letting her house get foreclosed on and your hubby is the jerk...she didn't have a problem accepting the money from your good-for-nothing husband then....anyway..the reason your brother is in and out of jail is because mommy will always help him. Just let it be...don't accept anything from her unless it comes wrapped on christmas or a birthday...it's how she controls people.
2007-07-17 02:29:39 · answer #2 · answered by suitablepenname 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pay only what you have to pay (so only the stuff you bought) and stop using that card.
if you paid her for the house what she asked than that's it.
I see it in my family too, the one that always needs help and is in trouble is the sweetheart and can't do nothing wrong.
If you can look at yourself in the mirrow and say that you're an honest person than that's what is important. she is your mother but only in blood not in her behaviour. Stop seeing or contact her, she's no good. you have a husband (he must support you more because you're feeling like this) and nice kids be there for them not for your mother, she doesn't deserve you and only hurts you.
2007-07-17 03:04:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sylvie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be up front with everyone. She has "sellers remorse" which is not uncommon even in non-relatives in this situation. Since it is family, you might ask her, and the others what would be the ethical thing to do, after they have all the facts. However, most likely you will never satisfy her. Decide yourself what is ethical and do it. Satisfy yourself so you can be happy. Once that is done, you don't have to listen to any of this.
2007-07-17 02:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay her WHATEVER you owe her for and do not use her cards anymore and be done with her financially.
2007-07-17 02:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should step back a bit, & don't use each other cards & money in that case
2007-07-17 02:37:33 · answer #6 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never do any kind of business with family...no
2007-07-20 23:03:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋