Are young children whose parents stay at home better developed than those who spend more time at nursery?

Question

People tend to blame parents for actions of irresponsible kids, do you think this is right?

Answer 1

I have worked in a daycare, one of the so-called nice or upscale ones, and when I had my daughter, I knew I would stay home with her if there was any way that I could afford it. I am lucky enough to be able to do so, and while everyone may not have or want that option, I do think it is for the best. My daughter is very sociable, friendly, and intelligent. She started walking at 9.5 months, and was talking before then. Now, at 20 months, she speaks better than most children who are a year or a year and a half older than her. Her pediatrician thinks she is amazing and she is very well behaved for her age. I have nieces and nephews who go to daycare and they are not nearly as sociable or well-behaved, and they are sick ALOT more, too
I do feel that this is a very personal issue, and there is no failsafe answer for everyone. However, I know exactly how my child spends her day, and if she's safe, what she eats, etc. I know my child isn't constantly around other children who are ill. If you send your child to daycare or if you pay anyone to watch him/her; please make sure that you check up on them VERY regularly and find out how your child spends the day. Most child care centers are reputable, but remember that they are businesses and the dollar is the bottom line, not your child.

Answer 2

Every child is different.

A child who is with their parents constantly may appear to develop quicker in some areas that others. For example, if a child attends a large nursery, with a high key-carer turnover, or a high ratio of children to adults, it could be argued that the child will develop academically slower that if that child were at home on a one to one basis with the parent. However - the same child may not develop the same social skills, by not having the interaction with a larger number of people and just being cared for by the parent. Therefore, the child may not learn patience, sharing, self confidence and Independence as quickly as a child who is in a larger facility.

There is also the parents well-being which need to be considered. Just because you have become a parent doesn't mean that you have to lose your own identity and just be someones mum - that situation can lead to resentment towards the child which will also impact on a child's development.

There are pro's and cons to both, it's not just a clear cut black and white answer - but then again neither is childcare, don't just assume that the only alternative to the child being with you is a nursery - you might also consider a Registered Childminder, which really is the best of both worlds!

Answer 3

I was a young, single Mother of 3, I had to work, welfare just wasn't the way to go, I also at one point worked 2 jobs and went to school full time to earn my degree. My oldest didn't go to daycare until she was 2 but the 2 youngest were in day care at 6 months for the middle girl and 3 months for the youngest. Thank God for daycare, I would not have been able to survive on welfare or the minimum child support I received. My girls knew that bedtime was 8:00 because we were up at 6:00 each morning to do the commute to work and school, they are very well rounded adults (so I think) they all have jobs and are accustomed to getting up in the morning and being somewhere during the day, not just hanging out on/in the streets acquiring unnecessary skills. Responsible parents rear responsible kids, irresponsible adults rear irresponsible kids. Children learn by example, parenting has no set rules (Spock don't know crap), quality time as opposed to quantity, it does work. The right nursery with the right caregivers is essential also, the daycare my girls attended is now in its 35th year and my oldest is 30. God Bless.

Answer 4

Nope. It really depends on the parenting while the parent is home, even if it's only for a few hours a day. Also, I'm not trying to knock stay at home moms here, but, it seems as though kids that went to nursery/day care seem to be much more independent when they enter the real world as adults. Not all mind you, I just see more of us "nursery" kids as adults being better adapted to social situations and living on our own.

Of course, I think the stay at home mom's who introduce their children to people outside of the family (play groups and what have you) have pretty well adapted children as well.

Also, I believe parents who don't have the cajones to discipline their children are the ones who have kids that are irresponsible and lack any kind of courtesy. There are your few children that figure it out early on and don't cause the same problems others do. But parenting is parenting regardless of your home or daycare status.

Just my two cents worth.

Answer 5

In some cases, yes. If a child misbehaves for craving attention because a mother or father tends to ignore the child then of course its the parents. Usually, in cases of being in a nursery, they're probably just riled up from being around other children. Also you want to consider that in a nursery what the other children learn/do can rub of onto your child. As for when they get older, children will act the way they want to lol they call it the terrible two's but it'll last till they move out. If they children aren't neglected then they are the ones at fault.

Answer 6

I personally think it is better for children to go to nursery, as this is really the only way they can develop their social skills needed when they go to school. Children also need constant stimulation which they get in abundence if they go to a good nursery. Spending quality time with your children is the most important thing, so you do need to make sure that your working life doesn't interfere with that.
But i also think that parents are responsible for their childrens actions, from an early age children do need to be taught right from wrong and need to know the conseuquences of their actions. Being firm but fair seems to work best.

Answer 7

I agree also that it really depends on the provider (parent or outside).

Also, a parent staying home and focusing on their kids is really a new thing only from the past 100 years - remember the whole Leisure time thing leading to the Industrial Revolution in high school. Or think about Little House on the Prairie. That mom was out pushing the plow, doing the farm work, etc, and the older siblings would care for the younger ones. Or in many cultures where the elders care for the children in groups (much like day care) and the moms were out doing harder labor.

Answer 8

Yes there is concrete evidence but I've read so many articles from both mainstream and specific journals that I don't have any names, studies, universities or dates for you to look up. I'm in my mid fifties and for the last thirty five years I've come across a number of scientific data, and specific studies that show the children are better off when one parent stays at home. It's always the woman. And it is always the woman because her gender has the ability to do that, a man can, but not nearly as well as a woman can. No where near the ability of a woman's! If you want the concrete evidence then you are going to have to spend a few years searching the rank and files of the libraries and the Internet. You aren't necessarily going to get it here.

Answer 9

Both ways have their own advantage's, i think children that go to nursery develop quicker socially than those children who's parent(s) stay home

I do not think that in the majority of cases it is fair to blame the parents, but of course their are the small minority of parents that either do not care or are too soft on their children which of cause has a major impact on the kids later on in life.

Answer 10

It's something that can't be generalized. There are kids who have a great environment and caretakers away from home while their parents work, but I'm sure there are also kids who are watched all day by someone else and who aren't in the best situation they could be or deserve to be in.

For me and my daughter personally, I believe she is just as well off, if not sometimes better, than being home all day with me. I am not a very sociable person to begin with, so I don't believe she'd have many of the experiences or opportunities she's had at the sitter's if we stayed home together full time. Yes, I would like to spend more time with her at home than I do now, but I don't feel full time would be as beneficial to her. She is not just stuck in some daycare, she has a regular sitter who cares a great deal for her, and takes very good care of her. She has the chance to be around other kids, her age, younger, and older, and gets to meet new people through the sitter also. She has attended our sitter's kid's school functions, and gets out and about with them more than I would do with her at home. She learns a lot at the sitter's, just like she does at home as well. It's not like she just sits and watches tv there all day, the sitter is very interactive with her kids. I do believe my daughter has benefitted greatly from this.

I think if kids have this same experience, even in a daycare, as long as they are receiving the same attention at home, they will be ok in day to day life. I don't think irresponsible kids are due specifically to staying at home or going to daycare. You can have kids who stay home all day with a parent, that still grow up to be the 'irresponsible kids'. There are factors other than childcare that influence that, such as the involvement of the parents. Even if a kid is home all day with a parent, it doesn't necessarily mean they are getting proper attention. And even if they are, it doesn't mean they will turn out perfect. There are kids who can be raised 'by the book', who will still want to do their own thing and end up making wrong choices and getting into trouble. It takes a lot of teaching and cooperation on both the caregiver's side and the parent's side to try to raise responsible kids.