jokes anyone?

Answer 1

The Truth

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” -- even when you don't know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don't tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don't say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, “Then come give your FATHER a big hug.”

Answer 2

A man driving his car shares his experience.. ...

Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked to my right and saw a
woman in a brand new Mercedes doing about 90 mph with her face up close to
her rear view mirror putting on her make-up.

I looked away for a couple of seconds and next thing I know she's halfway
over in my lane still working on her face.

It scared the life out of me so much that I dropped my electric shaver,
which knocked the bacon roll out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten up the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, I lost my mobile from my ear, which fell into
the coffee between my legs, causing it to splash and burn "Big Jim and the
Twins".

I screamed in pain and the cigarette fell out of my mouth, burning my shirt.
I also lost an important call.

Answer 3

Three doctors are traveling by car. They hear a loud "BANG."

First doctor - "sounds like a flat tire."
Second doctor got out - "Looks like a flat tire."
Third doctor got out - "Feels like a flat tire."

And since insurance was going to pay for it - - - - - - - -


They all concurred that more tests were needed.

Answer 4

Hmm...
A contest named "Doing The Milking"
3 contestant : Dutch Lady,American Lady and VN Lady...
Dutch lady goes to the cow stable...10 minutes later,she goes out with 10 buckets of milk,the crowd bravo !!!
American lady goes to the stable....20 minutes later,she goes out with 30 buckets of milk,the crowd say "DO IT AGAIN !!! BRAVO"
VN lady goes to the stable...2 hours later,she goes out with only 5 buckets of milk,the crowd say "MOVE MOVE MOVE !"
She screams to the crowd "GODDAMN ! WHO PUT THAT BULL IN MY STABLE ???"
The crowd "YAAAAAAAAY !!!" (^,^)