How do I get my kids natural father to sign over his parental rights to me?

Question

He only has the kids 2 days a month and when they come home from his house they are upset and just not happy.They are both 6 and one has special needs. My 2nd husband is more of a dad to them and we would love for him to be able to adopt them.

Answer 1

If he is not in agreement on relinquishing his parental rights then it can't be done unless there is legal cause to terminate his rights, such as child abuse. You can not terminate a biological parents rights because he only sees the children once or twice per month and you can't have them terminated because someone you feel is a better parent wants to adopt them. Courts won't consider that. Courts tend to advocate for keeping biological parents and children together unless the children are being grossly neglected or abused.

Even if the father agrees to voluntarily relinquish his parental rights I urge you to read the experiences of adopted adults. There is often strong bonds between children and their biological parents regardless of the circumstances. Sometimes children grow up resenting their parents for doing something like this.

Read the adoptee boards at www.adoption.com forums to gain insight into what your child may think about this later. Even though you husband is not the legal father of these children he can still have them added to his insurance policies and anything else that a parent needs to do so adoption may not outweigh the risks involved in terminating their biological father's rights. Just something to think about and I'm not necessarily saying this is right or wrong. I just want to offer some information to research. I have read a lot of adoptee experiences and not all of them embrace adoption even if the adoptive parent(s) are wonderful to them.

Answer 2

You cannot amke him do this, but you can suggest it to him. And just tell him around his time to get them, that someone has a birthday party or something, and if he doesnt mind if they can go instead of with him. But never suggest making up the missed time. And try to always "make" an excuse for him at his visitations. But dont be pushy, just set the opportunity at his feet. If he really doesnt want them, he will pick up on it. Let him start not seeing them, but it has to be his decision. And keep suggesting your new hubby adopting them, and put in his mind all the "good-points"....no child support, wont have to worry about the visitations anymore, wont have to deal with each other, how unhappy the kids are....if he refuses, after several suggestions, then put your foot down and start telling him that he needs to step up, start being a better father and treat his kids better. You cant keep seeing them like this. You need to start hearing good reports when they come home. Keep your foot down on this. Either he needs to be a great father to them, or he needs to let someone else.

Answer 3

A better choice would be to contact the bio father and explain to him that the kids are not happy when they come home. Is there anything you can do to help make it a happier visit? Extend a helping hand. At only 2 days a month, it's pretty hard for him to really get a handle on what the kids expect.

Answer 4

Unless you are on the birth certificate you have no parental rights at all. Unless you go to court of course! I can understand how you must be feeling but instead of fighting her over this why don't you try and keep the peace so you'll be allowed access. Surely that's the important part? Have you asked if you can choose the middle name? Try and keep everything sweet and you never know what might happen. Good luck x x x

Answer 5

According to the laws of Australia, your second husband cannot adopt your six year olds unless their natural father is dead. But... adoption is just a piece of paper. Your second husband will be seen by your two 6 year-olds as more of a father figure than their natural father and what does it really matter anyway?

Answer 6

You would have to talk things over with him, get him to see things from your own perspective, though you will really have to be very patient and diplomatic to achieve this, cos hes not going to want to accept that hes presence in their life is not being helpful. On the other hand the kids might actually be depressed cos they do not spend enough time with him, but whatever be the case you guys should put your feelings and needs aside and put those of the kids ahead of yours.

Also you might want to solicit the help of a friend of his, to help talk to him if you cant achieve this on your own.

Answer 7

there dad only see's them 2 days a month, that is a bit cruel to him and the kids, maybe they are upset because hardly see him and when the do see him they don't know what to do. get them to spend more time together to see if it helps, if not then consider adoption

Answer 8

Does he pay child support? Alot of men run when forced with monetary obligations. If you can prove the natural father unfit in the eyes of the court you may be terminate parental rights or if you can prove to the courts it is somehow in the best interest of the children. Just please do not let any of your personal feelings towards you ex interfere with what is truly in the best interest of the child.

Answer 9

I think you are confused with the term parental rights. You are the parent too and already have parental rights and he has his. Its not something you give away. He can, with the courts permission, give up his parental rights....as long as your new husband has been aproved to adopt the children.

Answer 10

that is wrong. You need to find out what's going on instead of jumping to take the kids from their father!!!