My boyfriend has a wealthy grandmother who has put 50,000 dollars in a bank account of his in france, but he has made a commitment that he would not touch the money until retirement, or until he had kids.
We live thousands of miles apart and visit one another every 3 monthes. I've been saying I'd like to move in together with him but he keeps saying he's not ready to do it and he doesn't have the money. I feel like if he took money out of the bank account he'd have the money to split rent with me and we could be together more time. Am I being selfish?
2007-07-16 21:17:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sounds like he may be a player when you are not around and does not want a full term committment with you. time to move on and find you a decent man. you deserve better than what he is prepared to give you.
2007-07-16 21:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by JEN 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Being selfish no. Sounds like if you had him move in you would want him to help pay the bills and there is nothing wrong with that.
As for him having no money I would say this I have money in saving saving it to go to the doctor so when someone needs it or my kids I say I have no money. He maybe saving it for other things. Or it could be the fact that he can't touch it until he has kids or retire. If his grandmother is a live I bought she will hand it over to him just to pay month bills, being the fact that she has already stated her wishes on what she wants him to do to get it.
2007-07-16 21:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Angalz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little. I mean, he already made plans for that money's use. There are a lot of men out there who are not ready to move in with their girlfriends. They feel that the change would be too great for them to handle and you guys might break up over it.
It's really not a good idea to put him in the situation where he has to choose between saving the money and living with you.
2007-07-16 21:27:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your bf has made a very wise decision not to touch the money until later on in life. And yes I do think it would be selfish of you to expect him to break into this cash now when he is not ready to make a commitment. Don't pressure him.
2007-07-16 21:23:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Should not be hurry! Don't let ur love the biggest issue in ur life but is the thing need to be considered. Sometime he have planned for u and him already, so do not force him to walk over his plan. At the same time, u also find out that he really love him or he has another better girl in mind. Better is try to discuss with him in a cool way request him to let you know about his plan to clear all doubt in ur mind.
2007-07-16 21:30:47 · answer #5 · answered by Pick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, He's being smart.
It's better to have a cushion saved up,
and I'm sure he would disappoint everyone if he just blew it right now.
And also, his family would look at you as a gold digger. When the time is right to move in together, it will happen. And when he's ready to use the money, if you two are still together, you'll be glad he waited!
Good luck!
2007-07-16 21:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♥Peas♥♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sarah--it is his money--and the terms of the agreement do NOT include you--it isn't selfish--it is a poor plan and you just don't fit in when it comes to his life. Why not get a job and he get a job--millions of people pay the bills with the money they make--not everyone has a rich relative. You better figure this out with a mature brain.
2007-07-16 21:22:53 · answer #7 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is a man of his word, which is great, and also that he is not 100% ready or able to commit to you yet.
Being in a long distance relationship, this is not surprising -
If you truly believe he is worth it, you will make the effort to be with him, and perhaps you would both benefit from the inheiritance in the long term, - I would say the only thing he has done wrong, is to tell you about it !
[ p.s. dose it really exist ??? ]
2007-07-16 21:23:41 · answer #8 · answered by TPE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's weird cos' if he has all that money, he can spend a fair bit on his family and friends.
He must have spent at least $100 already depending on when he put it in the bank.
And you're not being selfish.
2007-07-16 22:43:07 · answer #9 · answered by melissa b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not strange for him to not be ready to move in with you. That's a big step to take with somebody.. Definently not something to rush into, or try to pressure him into. Wasn't his commitment to take it out either a) retirement or b) until he has kids? I don't see anything in there about taking it out to have a girlfriend move in with him..
Sorry, but you are being selfish. That's his money, and if he's not ready to move in with you, he doesn't have to.
2007-07-16 21:21:09 · answer #10 · answered by *TiNK* 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being selfish. But I don't see how he is going to end up feeling close to you to fall in love if you only get to see one another every three months.
2007-07-16 21:19:54 · answer #11 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋