I grew up in a family with a very overbearing father, he more or less sucked the self-confidence out of me. As an adult, I find I face problems because of this in speaking with people or talking at length about issues which I am even qualified to talk about. I always get the feeling that people will think less of me when I open my mouth - I don't even know how to talk with people.
2007-07-16 20:41:33 · 11 answers · asked by BlueYonder 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You have to develop your own self-confidence. Seek opportunities to speak. If you are a church goer try to find opportunities to lead prayers.
Read. Become comfortable with ideas. Discuss the ideas with intelligent friends. Learn how to state what you believe and do so whenever it is a good time.
You are bound to have at least a few friends you can trust and speak with. Seek out opportunities to discuss things with them. Make sure that somebody knows you have this problem and is willing to help you with it.
Find a girlfriend who is smart, likes you and will discuss things with you. Best incentive I know of to become a good communicator.
2007-07-16 20:48:18 · answer #1 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to you and know where you're coming from. I had a father who was always cutting down every idea I'd always had and a mother who told me I talk too much. But first things first. Regardless of how you feel now over what was done to you in the past, you are now an adult. It is time to deal with your problem(s) from an adult point of view. I got a great deal of help working with a psychologist for over a year and he guided me toward having a different point of view.
I have a lot of self esteem now because I realize that I have a great deal to contribute to society. As a top contributor with a 15% best answer rating, I must be doing something right. So obviously, I have something to say. So now how do I reconcile being told by a mother that I talk(ed) too much? Well, I came to the conclusion that there are and will be people that want to hear what I have to say. I find them every day on Yahoo! Answers and I am encouraged to share my knowledge with others in confidence. So what if I'm not accepted by my peers in the "real world?" The point is that the forum on Yahoo! Answers allows me to communicate with those who want to hear what I have to say. My thoughts are with you and I hope this answer helps
2007-07-17 04:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Raptor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do speak when you've thought through the thing you have to say. It's a shame not to let people know your ideas. Everyone gets nervous try to put others first ie this might help someone.It will get better with time; throw in a few things you think cute;change your tone;just relax it'll get easier the more you do it. Hope this helps.I too am shy.[ My voice will creak when I go to speak:)] so I feel for you. You come across well you'll do fine don't let your nerves hold you down:)
2007-07-17 03:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by Love to follow the good sports 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what your talking about, since i grew up in the same type of household. its hard to develope confidence, when as a child, every time you speak out your yelled at, and rejected. i was able, to at least partly, overcome this by closing my eyes..... and thinking of the moment. when you step up in front of the group, or when your alone chatting with them, simply think of the moment and nothing more. dont anticipate what there going to say, or how theyll react and let yourself speak whats on your mind. and ALWAYS remember, you dont have to fake for anyone, so if they dont like what you have to say, you can just walk away. youll find that more often your words will be met with praise than critisism. just try not to sweat it and youll do fine
2007-07-17 03:52:13 · answer #4 · answered by jack.spade 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See social anxiety, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 9, and the self confidence websites, on page 2. Join Toastmasters.
2007-07-17 09:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy your communication. Make take some training. Always think that you can teach a thing or two to the other fellow irrespective of his status.
2007-07-17 04:09:29 · answer #6 · answered by Subhash N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well .. i was like u till my late teens ..
u can overcome ur problem by meeting people, talking to them, (general topics), making them friends, spending some money for them (for a while, not always)... roaming the town/city where u live ..
the problem will be solved gradually ...
2007-07-17 03:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by electro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should think that nobody master the subject better than you because you are qualified to talk about that subject.
Your fear will disappear.
Good luck!
2007-07-20 05:20:56 · answer #8 · answered by Latifa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a little trick that actors/public speakers use to overcome stagefright (which is kind of what you may have)...imagine the people you are talking to are naked except for black socks.
i tried.
2007-07-17 03:47:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try
- take a course
- read some books on subject
- NLP
2007-07-17 03:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by Leo A. IV aka Lad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋