Chemical Imbalance?

Question

My girlfriend and I split up about 2 months ago, due to my "bad behavior" what I want to know is this, I went to a psychiatrist today and have been diagnosed with a chemical imbalance, severe depression and possibly a bi-polar disorder. We have a 2 year old son together, keep that in mind too and I know we both still have feelings for each other. How much should my "condition" affect her decision to reconcile, I am getting treatment and will not stop. I was told that with my condition I was essentially out of control and could not behave as a "normal" person. Is this believable? she says she cannot understand how I could act the way I did towards someone I swore I loved, anyone have any experience with this problem? I could use some suggestions. I never cheated on her and there was no abuse other than my sickness.

Answer 1

First, who told you that you couldn't behave as a normal person, your ex-girlfriend or the psychiatrist? All of your conditions are highly treatable. Just continue your therapy and try to contain your aggression by evaluating the situations that come about. Don't stress so much about simple things, mostly concentrate on you and your son and how you want him to have a good father that is inside you. These things take time to get through, but you have to believe in yourself before anything can really happen. I would mostly focus on your time with your son and show him that you really do love him and you will always be there whenever he needs you.

Answer 2

Good question! I'd say it works both ways. If you are depressed for a long time you don't usually take good care of yourself and that leads to bad diet choices that can result in an imbalance. Chemical imbalances can cause depression too--because the body needs certain amounts of certain chemicals to keep running properly.

Answer 3

Do some research (NAMI.org) on bipolar disorder and severe depression and present it to your spouse. Highlight areas that talk about the kind of behavior swings and craziness that can happen while severely depressed or experiencing bipolar disorder. It's pretty impressive the crazy things people will do while "swinging up."

It's very possible to live a normal life if you find the right meds, continue to take your meds and see a therapist. But if I were her, I'd require you to be stable on meds & therapy for 6 months before I'd even consider letting you back in our house. I have a bipolar son and mother inlaw. I know what kind of craziness happens when meds are off, or forgotten, and I would not want to expose my baby to that kind of chaos.

Let her know you understand why she feels this way and let her know you're pretty confused with the situation yourself, but that you're doing your best to make a good husband and good daddy out of yourself by getting all the help you can. Education, yours and hers, is what will help you work things out. Look up NAMI.org.

Best wishes.

Debbie (25 chronic depr, anxiety disorder)
TX mom
Not medical personnel.

Answer 4

I wish I could tell you that things are going to be better and that there will be sunshine and lolipops and rainbows waiting for you on the other side - but being bipolar has no other side.

I'm bipolar - have been my entire life with ADHD and I'm 57. I grew up and lived with it during a time when little was understood about it. Consequently I ruined a number of marriages/families and have no one left in my life.

My suggestion is to learn as much as you possibly can about this disorder - or as the authorties call it - "mental illness". Believe me - IT owns you not You own it. The more you can learn about it and therefore about yourself, the more you can protect others by being able to identify the various stages that you inevitably fluctuate through round and round - over and over.

Know when you are hypomanic - when you feel so powerful and fully enabled, capable of pretty much anything and everything all at one. Educate the people who deal with you so they too can recognize the various stages.

Know that hypomanic escalates into full manic and that is terrifying in its overwhelming mental confusion and rapidity of thoughts and the hair-trigger irritability that ensues. Protect those around you by letting them know you are "manic" and do your best to keep yourself at bay about it.

Know when you crash into depression - and let other know and understand that you are in such a state as an explanation of your behavior.

Just know that bipolar controls you - entirely. You will always be in one of the states of bipolar for the rest of your life. So it's a good thing to learn about yourself so you can empower yourself and other through understanding and patience.

Go here and watch the available video interviews:
http://www.bipolarhelp.org.

Good luck and know that some extraordinary people of history have been bipolar - so it may seem debilitating, but that hypomanic phase is your saving grace and your powerhouse.

Captain BP

Answer 5

I hope I don't sound sexist, but doesn't your girl friend ever have irritable moods at certain times because of her hormones? It's kind of like that.

I know that may not have been what you're looking for. But try asking your doctor for any handouts or literature on depression/bipolar disorder that you can send to your girl friend. You could write a short letter with it that says "please read this."

You can also find information on the internet and try to be persistant about asking her to read it; print it out, and keep giving it to her. She might finally give it a try and start reading it. What she really needs is information about it. Maybe send the information with flowers or something, be creative about it.

You might even be able to get your doctor to write some kind of statement about why your behavior is like that.

Answer 6

diagnosed with a chemical imbalance,I think you should see a doctor who can righty tell you what you have, seems they added 3 things in all, and one they are not sure of, which they should know,, see another doctor, it wont hurt, imbalance they said, but many types are out here, I would do that, then work on what you really have,, Ive found online a few, very few good websites, that can help,, I suffer from panick attacks, which at times can make me get mad at people very easy, at times,, stress even a little can bring it on,, which is not mental as most say,, new studies show this.. Please seek one more doctor,, its best to do...

Answer 7

yes it is very possible. You should BOTH get educated on the symptoms and conditions of bi-polar. It is not something to mess with you need to have knowledge on your side.
It screwed up a good portion of my life until I got diagnosed and medicated. Good luck. she can forgive you if she understands that it was the disease not you doing the bad behavior.

Answer 8

What was your bad behaviour? She might see it as abuse! Talk to her tell her exactly what is going on with you and how you are seeking help. Don't pressure her and let her see the changes in you as you progress. Hopefully she will see the new you and love it.
My wife has a disorder and sometimes abuses me severely (verbally) but I understand her disorder and accept her the way she is.

Answer 9

As long as your getting treatment it is worth another shot especially for your child sake.

it is not different if you had a tooth ache and was acting out b/c of pain!

your gettting the treatment an your feeling better now!

Answer 10

Tell her you are not responsible for your behavior.That you are "sick" and it is a sickness. But it can be treated and successfully treated. Explain as you did to us and tell her you are getting help. Mental Illness is a sickness.