I just asked a question about why my boyfriend isn't calling me so frequently and I think the guys were thinking I wanted a 35 minute conversation on love, life, and his thoughts on A Walk to Remember everytime we talked...that's definitely not our relationship at all. He'd just call me when he got home from work and say, "I'm home and I love you and I'm going to go hang out with my friends." I am so, so, so, okay with that. I want him to hang out with his friends as much as he wants. I'd say our average phone conversation is maybe 5 or 6 minutes long. (No sarcasm implied in this next question) Is that asking too much? Maybe I'm in "I'm a smotherer" denial.
2007-07-16 18:34:36 · 17 answers · asked by AlliwantISAfrica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's not asking a lot at all. My best friends talk about 4 times a day for 5-30 minutes each time when they're not together. It's NOT a smothering relationship at all. They spend time apart and have separate interests/hobbies, etc.They want to be married and until they are this is probably how it will be.
I can tell by some of the guys answering here that they don't want to meet a woman's emotional needs - part of that is talking a few times a day just to say, "Hi honey. I love you and am thinking about you." Or to talk about what's going on in each person's day. Women need to talk and be talked with. That's a big thing for them and it's important.
Again, what you are asking is hardly anything.
2007-07-16 18:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by Alien Brain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think it's such a problem, the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Approach him and say, "I don't mean to smother you if I am, and I don't want to pull you from your friends, but sometimes I do want to spend time with you. Do you think I'm smothering you? And please, be honest."
Take whatever he's going to tell you, and don't punish him for being honest by blowing up at him. Listen intently, and ask him if there's any way you guys can work things out to where you can spend time together and he can still be with his boys. Once you work it out, let him know that you will never try to invade his space and if you ever do, he should tell you.
2007-07-17 01:41:47 · answer #2 · answered by Honesty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in denial. Guys dont wanna sit on the phone more than maybe 5 minutes a day. Trust me. He may be talking to you, but he just wants you to stop.
2007-07-17 01:38:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Know what girl...I completely understand. We can drive ourselves crazy with the "I wish he would do that". But, let's face it..girls and guys think differently. Often times, we are fighting to make them think like us, but it's absolutely impossible. I would say don't let it get to you. Keep your head up, do your own thing, and when he feels the difference, he will come back with a bang. Sooner or later, he'll be the one wondering what happened. Trust me..works everytime.
2007-07-17 01:49:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I answered before, maybe he feels boxed in and needs more space, or maybe he is reevaluating the relationship, such as it is moving too fast.... towards marriage. Next time he calls, you can ask him whats up and see what he says.
2007-07-17 07:50:34 · answer #5 · answered by RB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what...id ton think your smothering..and i dont think thats asking to much...my bf does the same things actually...i mean i like to talk on the phone..and i wish he would like to talk on the phone more...but he doesnt....oh well i live...its not like im going to let him not talking to mr for a long time on the phone bother me...and you shouldnt let it bother you...
ecspecially if you guys talk and hang out all the time anyways.
2007-07-17 01:38:52 · answer #6 · answered by Jesi-lyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this how it is everyday? You guys talk for 5 minutes each day? o_O That doesn't seem like a really good relationship. Hopefully you guys have other ways of communication. Communication is really important, and it doesn't seem like he cares much for it..
2007-07-17 01:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by Tina 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you are a smotherer.
The remedy for that?
Don't call him!
Stay busy, so that if he or any other guy wants to talk to you, They will have to call YOU, and hope that you have time to talk to them!
2007-07-17 01:39:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
seriously i feel its literally less in my terms of phone.. if i was in love and same thing i would be giving 20-30mins talk daily for 3-4times atleast ... and u r really perfect :) dont worry dear
2007-07-17 01:39:17 · answer #9 · answered by Sigmund 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him some space! He doesnt always have to call u EVERY day! everyone needs space, or they would get sick of eachother!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-17 01:40:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋