Why do some people cope better than others?

Question

I was listening to a news story today about the LA Catholic Archdiocese pay out regarding priest molestation. One of the victims interviewed was nearly hysterical and talked about how she nearly killed herself over the issue. I was stunned!

I was molested as a child, by my grandfather and by a family friend. It simply doesn't bother me now, it's not part of my life. It has not affected my relationships as an adult, my role as a husband or my confidence as a man.

There came a time when I was in my teens that I made a simple decision that there was nothing I could do about it and that if I let it affect my life, then they were still molesting me. I really don't mean to insult those dealing with their own situations but for me it really was as simple as making a decision not to be a victim.

Why is it so much harder for some people than others?

Answer 1

How many pebbles would it take, thrown into a pond, before you could see one land without a splash?

Molestation and rape are crimes against the body, mind and soul of a person. How it affects the body mind and soul is going to cause a certain amount of "splash" resulting in ripples or even waves emanating from that unnatural and unwanted intrusion into a person's life. Many, if not most, will be affected to the core of their being, touching and even changing the who of who they are. Their life orientation and the basis of what they think of themselves changes. Few
are able to "make a simple decision". For them it is more like trying to cross an ocean in a canoe. They simply are unequipped to deal with the strong currents and conditions created by the offender.

Answer 2

some people are just weak...a friend of mine makes a MASSIVE deal about how a doc felt her up when she was 11....i had something slightly similar happen to me...but no big deal there...i wouldnt even think twice about it...they were just sleazy bastards?
but good on ya for getting on with life!!!

Answer 3

for some people they learn better, and/or comes naturally, me personally have an unhealthy way of coping. and as people we need to try to do better.