Should I leave or should I stay?

Question

I dated this person for 6 months. The first month has been a wonderful month till a month after we dated he became very violence. He doesn't like me dressed showing my skin l, he explain that he don't want anyone to look me and he think that its inappropriate that women dressed too sexy. It became dramatic that we verbally fought and one day came to physical fights. Just because my shirt was a V-neck (all the way up my neck). We both are stubborn! In all my relationship I've never been in any abusive one. I was mad I call for break up. He beg me back we got back I make him promise not to ever touch me again he promised. One thing lead to another just because I said someone in the movie look sexy he slap me so hard both of my cheeks bruised and beat till my whole body sore the next day. I call for break up once again I came back to him. We've talk about wanting to get marry have kids and a future we love each other very much, I don't want to let him go n don't want to get hurt.

Answer 1

Break it off. This kind of abuse in any relationship normally only escalates the longer you allow it to continue --- your boyfriend needs some serious intensive therapy, and, by the sounds of it, you can live without him. All of the early warning signs are there, hon. Get the support you need from family and friends, and move on. DO NOT take him back, even if he begs, because this is always how it starts right before it gets worse.

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23 WARNING SIGNS OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP (www.health-first.org)

Physical or sexual violence may occur without warning. Sometimes, however, there may be signs or "red flags" that serve as warnings that abuse may occur. The following are examples of a person's behavior or personality that may be a warning that a person may be abusive. If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship or be at risk for it. It is recommended that you speak with a domestic violence advocate.

1. Does your partner tease you in a hurtful way in private or in public?

2. Does your partner call you names such as "stupid" or "*****"?

3. Does your partner act jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers?

4. Does your partner get angry about clothes you wear or how you style your hair?

5. Does your partner check-up on you by calling, driving by, or getting someone else to?

6. Has your partner gone places with you or sent someone just to "keep an eye on you"?

7. Does your partner insist on knowing who you talk with on the phone?

8. Does your partner blame you for his problems or his bad mood?

9. Does your partner get angry so easily that you feel like you're "walking on eggshells"?

10. Does your partner hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you?

11. Does your partner often drink or use drugs?

12. Does your partner insist that you drink or use drugs with him?

13. Have you lost friends or no longer see some of your family because of your partner?

14. Does your partner accuse you of being interested in someone else?

15. Does your partner read your mail, go through your purse, or other personal papers?

16. Does your partner keep money from you, keep you in debt, or have "money secrets?"

17. Has your partner kept you from getting a job, or caused you to lose a job?

18. Has your partner sold your car, made you give up your license, or not repaired your car?

19. Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends, or pets?

20. Does your partner force you to have sex when you do not want to?

21. Does your partner force you to have sex in ways that you do not want to?

22. Does your partner threaten to kill you or himself if you leave?

23. Is your partner like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," acting one way in front of other people and another way when you are alone?

Answer 2

no. leave him.
Once blows have been struck the situation only escalates, the violence gets worse. Not to mention, he shouldn't be restricting you so badly, it's utterly ridiculous and he's being far too possessive of you. Tell him you need some space, and keep little to no contact with him for a month. After that, phone him, and tell him you'd like to meet him for lunch, wear something that you know he wouldn't approve of. If he makes it through lunch okay, and you think he's still interested, give him an ultimatum: He can either: promise not to ever hit you again, and understand he does, you'll leave him, and that he won't tell you how to dress, and let you be your own person. Or, he can lose you forever.
It sounds harsh, but domestic abuse is never a gentle thing. you need to be firm.
please listen to what I've said
it's not worth it.

-Raven

Answer 3

I think the answer to that is very clear when I say LEAVE HIM,guys like that make you think they are the best you will ever get, and TRUST me you can do WAY better, what he is doing to you is wrong, you should be treated like a queen, not his rag doll. There are guys that will treat you nice and right and guys that are also ready for kids and want to get married, Please leave him before it gets worse, because Im telling you, NO, Im WARNING you the more you go back to him, the worse it is going to get, you may not think so now, but this could seriously lead to your death... Im not trying to scare you... but be careful. ESPECIALLY if he is acting like this after only 6 months

Answer 4

honey, he's hit you twice, how many more times will he have to hit you until you decide to leave. I mean sweetie you deserve way better than him, If he ever loved you as he said, he wouldnt have laid one finger on you. I know you love him but a relationship shouldnt include violence. Lets say you argue again and he beats you badly and leaves bruises on you, will you take him back? I will be a social worker soon, and i will be working with battered women, and i have talked to women just like you and all have said they thought their mate would change but they didnt. Some were left with permanent burns or scars on their body, some left with never being able to have kids again because their mate beat them so hard it damaged their insides. Sweetie dont take him back, because once you have kids what makes you think he wont touch the kids if they make him mad or you make him mad. Have more faith in yourself and get your self-esteem back up, you seem like a very intelligent woman who deserves to have someone love you, adore you, and pamper you and not ever lay a finger on you. I know you think he will change but trust me he wont. Dont believe his cries because trust me they are fake. He will probably change for a bit then i guarantee you, he'll be back doing the same things to you and even worse until someone gets really hurt. So my advice for you is to leave him and just enjpy life and sooner than you think, you'll find a real man who deserves you and will cherish you and respect you. But first you have to respect and love yourself if you want others to do the same towards you. If he tries to threaten you, contact you local police but dont be afraid or hesitate it. Good luck sweetie! I hope you make the right choice!

Answer 5

Stay. I like you to stay, CareBears have a very nice azzes. don't know if I'm a perv or not. but I like CareBear butts. but you are also a good questioner and answerer, funny and have cute avatar. although you may turn out to be a man in the basement. or a woman in an office cubicle. Edit: "The an" is a proper grammar, but I wronged it.

Answer 6

Ok just to break the ice... You should have made your title Should I Stay or Should I Go Now, like the song. This relationship is going no where, get out now and never come back dont even look over your shoulder. He will never change, he will always be an abusive piece of yea. I watched my mom go through the same thing, and it was the same thing everytime she went back. Its not worth it for you to stay in this relationship, there is someone out there for you who will respect you and treat you the way you should be treated. You just have to wait and search, but this jerk is not the one for you.

Answer 7

LEAVE! Man, can you say abusive control freak? NO ONE and I mean NO ONE deserves to be hit. You MUST summon all the courage, dignity and self-respect you have and get out. Would you want to bring children into this relationship and learn that it's okay to beat and/or berate someone because s/he wanted his/her own way? Would you advise a friend to stay in a relationship like this? No one can look at you? What? The rest of the world goes blind because HE has you? The red flags are lit up in flourescent and beaming all over! Please, please, take care of YOURSELF and get out!

Answer 8

I'm sorry but i think u should dump him no matter how bad you will make him feel cause girls need to stick together and this guy is abusing u just for saying a guy looked sexy that is way above the clouds so take my advice and dump him. Like u said one thing leads to another. I f u keep going back to him then he will think that he can still abuse u and u break up but keep running back for him. Also dress however you want it's your life not his. Please go with my advice cause like i said girls stick together i don't want to see you get hurt again so please take my advice and dump him before we both see you get hurt again!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

First of all, He is controlling you and that is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If you continue to stay with him thing will progress to the worst. Trust me you do not want to see the worst, it's not wise enough to be marrying into chaos and if you are planning to have kids and stay with him then don't have children you'll only make their lives a living hell. They shouldn't have to suffer. Do not be one of those women who died by their own spouse because she "loved" him too much to leave him.

Answer 10

violence is violence and abuse there is no excuse-get out and dont look back and if he comes after you get the police to help a restraining order-find a good guy=Its important he believes in honor and is not abusive. It is important to turn to Jesus and find non abusive relationships in Jesus amazing grace=Romans 1 repented of sin to be thankful and worship the creator instead of the created. Jesus is the only Person who offers the unconditional acceptance that your heart craves. Your true identity is a beautiful, celebrated, daughter of God (Isaiah 62:3-4).
On the other hand, the affection of a bad boy is always performance-based. Jesus, however, sacrificed His life to love you without expecting anything in return. Your desire to feel cherished and complete can only be met by Christ (Colossians 2:10). If you do not learn to get your need for love met in Him, then your heart can be vulnerable to a bad boy’s charisma.
In addition, human relationships only experience intimacy when both parties sacrifice for each other. By definition, a bad boy is unwilling to offer you sacrificial love. So don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are immune to his lack of integrity. You must be willing to walk away from a guy who is unwilling to sacrifice for your needs.
Also, don’t attempt to fix a bad boy’s character flaws. Only Jesus Christ can change a man, and it generally takes years to see real improvement. Change is possible, but a man must be willing to surrender himself to God and take action. First John 4:19 says, “We love, because He first loved us.” This verse reveals that a man’s ability to love a woman is only found in the life that Jesus offers to live through him. A real man knows that he can do nothing apart from Christ (John 15:5). Therefore, ladies, reserve your heart for a guy who will rely upon Christ to love you.
Bad boys may be more common than men with character, but waiting for a guy with integrity is worth it.

prayin for you, and best wishes, in Jesus care John 3 worked for me