Guy Friend made me feel uncomfortable. Did I do the right thing (Read Story first!)?

Question

I have a guy friend, who I met a few years back. We get along pretty well and such. He never seemed like a pervert like some guys I see. However one incident made me question that:

One day he came over, it was just me and him, parents had gone out. We were chilling in my room, listening to music from his Ipod, however the night before I was up VERY late, so I slowly fell asleep.

Before I had fallen asleep, he had left to go talk to someone on his phone. Initially, I was sleeping with my face towards the chair he was sitting in. A little while later I turned my body around, with my back to his chair.

As I was napping, I felt a slight tug on my jeans. Figuring it was the wind or something, I kept napping. Then I felt a snap on my back, as if my underwear just got snapped. Still, nothing I thought.

Then, I could have sworn, I felt something cold, like a finger, go down my underwear and then the top of my underwear was being pulled, exposing my crack.

Read details for more info:

At that point, I felt very uncomfortable and gasped when I felt another, more painful snap on my back. When I turned around, my guy friend was a few feet away from me. I was like "Oh My God!" in fright! He looked at me puzzled "What?" he said.

I stared at him, then felt my back. Sure enough my white painties were above my jeans as if they had been pulled, which gave me suspicsion that he was peeking in there.

I asked him "What were you doing?!". He stared at me for a second, then replied "Pranking you...Look I'm..."

"GET OUT!" I yelled. He kept trying to apologize, saying "it's not what you think"! I told him I never want to see him again, and he left.

I never felt so uncomfortable in my life! A guy was peeking at my butt while I was asleep! I pulled my pants up, made sure my underwear wasn't showing, and went back napping, almost crying at the betrayal...

Answer 1

For sure you did the right thing.

A guy has no excuse whatsoever for doing that to you, even if you were sleeping.

I would also suggest that you inform your parents as to the indiscretions this guy took against you. I would also insist that your parents inform this guy's parents immediately.

For your parents to possibly learn the hard way about what happened would only mean the guy had a big mouth first, insisting that you were the one who initiated the indecent act against you.

You definitely did the right thing !! Now do the follow-up and report it before the guy takes more, possibly more severe, indiscretions against another young woman.

Answer 2

Life is so confusing... I wish everyone would just have a general consensus on this type of issue for once.


There is nothing wrong with what you did or said. Guys shouldn't be so ignorant and cannibalistic. On the other hand... I'm not going to lie when I say alot of girls put stuff out there in the open. I'm not at all saying this was the case in your situation. But when society feeds the typical male a certain conduct that they feel they must act out, biology will only agree with the sexual themes and inuendos that feed a young mans brain.

Your friend was confused, and that's why he looked it. He was only wondering why it was such a big deal that he was doing what he felt like he should of been doing, because that is what he has been taught by friends or even his family. I say do not blame your friend, but the immorality of mankind itself.

Answer 3

Yes you did do the right thing because no matter what the prank he had no right to touch you or your pants in a manner that would make you feel uncomfortable. Just because he was your friend didnt give him a free pass to place his hands where ever he wanted.This type of behavior is uncalled for and is the reason why some women have a hard time trusting men. Who could blame you. Thats not what friends do. You dont need guys like that around you.

Answer 4

From what your story tells me, it seems he wasn't "peeking" but rather snapping your underwear or trying to give you a wedgie. If he was peeking, I doubt he'd snap your underwear back, as that woke you up apparently.

I understand your concern and feeling of betrayal/violation when you felt his finger going down your underwear, and its a good thing you checked your back to ensure it wasn't a dream.

Now to answer your question:

Yes you did the right thing in confronting him, however I see you contradict that by not letting him explain himself. Give it a few days, and then question him. He doesn't seem like a bad boy, maybe he was trying to raise it to the next level, but did it wrong, or was just being naughty.

Long story short: You initially did the right thing, but I feel you should hear him out once. Then make your decision.

Answer 5

Wow honey I would have done the same thing. If there were other people in the room when he tried that it could have been a prank but all alone he was just being a pervert. I don't can how good of friends I was with someone, thats crossing the line.

Answer 6

He obviously went beyond what you were ready to allow. How should you react to a guy who does that?

You've known this guy for years, without any incident before this. That tells me he's not the type who goes around casually violating women. My read is that he was interested in taking your relationship to a more intimate level, but didn't know how to approach you about it (many men are clueless in this regard), and he ended up trying to do so in a very inappropriate manner.

He knows you took great offense, and he's probably mortified at the situation. He wanted to push things just a little, to see if you'd accept his advance or turn him away. He pushed too hard, and you hurled him away with great force.

Whether he committed an unforgivable offense is for you to decide.

Answer 7

For sure you did the right thing.

A guy has no excuse whatsoever for doing that to you, even if you were sleeping.

I would also suggest that you inform your parents as to the indiscretions this guy took against you. I would also insist that your parents inform this guy's parents immediately.

For your parents to possibly learn the hard way about what happened would only mean the guy had a big mouth first, insisting that you were the one who initiated the indecent act against you.

You definitely did the right thing !! Now do the follow-up and report it before the guy takes more, possibly more severe, indiscretions against another young woman.

Answer 8

get that pervert out of your life !!!!!!!!!!!! i have met a guy before whom i could have sworn was safe and different from the rest. the only difference was he knew how to play on my emotions and lie better. choosing to go over to you while you couldnt defend yourself, pulling out your underwear was NOT an accident! spilling pop on your new shirt is an accident. he will try to convince you otherwise, DONT FALL FOR IT! he will not stop there. if he thinks thats an idea of a joke, do you really want to experience the next time he feels like being 'funny'?

Answer 9

So, he is handling your underwear while you are alseep, then has the moxy to say "its not what you think". No its worse, the guy is a perv and doing exactly what you think. Don't go near him again. Whatever he uses an excuse will be a lie. Good for you getting him out.

Answer 10

If that's what you felt was the right thing to do - then it was right. It's unfortunate it's up to us women to teach men the proper behavior around men.

I have noticed that guys who have a great relationship with their mom and who have sisters are the most respectbale to women. Not always the case - but it's more true then not.