So, here is my dilemma...
A friend of mine...who I have known for years recently got engaged. She picked 7 bridesmaids and he picked 7 groomsmen. I however, was not asked to be in the wedding. No big deal didn't really phase me. It's her wedding not mine. Here is the problem. For the past month she has been calling me complaining about one of her bridesmaids and has since kicked her out of the 7. Now she wants me to be the 'replacement'. That is just not the way I want to be asked to be in a wedding., especially by a good friend who I have known for almost 10 years. I guess I feel like our relationship was strong enough that she’d ask me over someone she has only known for 7 months. She has never been one to make the best decisions and to be honest I have my doubts about there even being a wedding. On the other hand...how do you turn that down? Or, do I just suck it up and be in the wedding?
Thanks in advance everyone.
2007-07-16 16:00:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just say No, politely. She sounds like a potential Bridezilla. Come up with a gracious excuse," I get too nervous" or "I'd rather help behind the scenes."
It's going to get a lot worse.
2007-07-17 08:11:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you are not supportive of the relationship, then do not be a bridesmaid.
However do not use the "I'm only a replacement" as a reason to not be in the wedding. She can choose who she wants to and she had her reasons for choosing the ones she picked.
Just let her know that you will not be able to be a bridesmaid because of the time needed from your very busy day to do your duties.
2007-07-17 06:54:02 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has 7 Bridesmaids and is just now asking you to be a replacement?
I can understand a close friend not asking me to be a part of her wedding party if she only had one or two (or even 3) Bridesmaid's, but 7???
Adding an 8th so you, her close friend could be included, wasn't an option?
I don't mean to be harsh, but NO WAY IN HELL would I feel okay being a "replacement". Her Hubby-to-be should just eliminate one of the boys.
Tell her that you support her 100% and are willing to help, but you would prefer to not be in the wedding party. Be honest with her. It's unfair that she comes to you complaining about her now ousted Bridesmaid and expects you to "pull up the rear" so she has an even number of attendants.
Be polite, be compassionate. But don't be someone's replacement. Friendship is about more than that.
2007-07-16 16:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by kcarp73 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well, since she's taken so long you can always say that you have events planned around her wedding that you wouldn't be able to dedicate enough time to be a bridesmaid. Or you can say you aren't comfortable with the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid. If she's a really close friend, you can explain to her how you are feeling and hopefully she wont take it the wrong way. I wouldn't suck it up and deal with it, as you wont have a good time and as much as you may be hurting, you don't want to ruin her wedding day either. Good luck.
2007-07-16 16:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by RoniLea 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is not an easy situation...but if this is your close friend then you have to be honest...i don't blame you for being hurt especially since you have been friends since forever...I would just let her know that this is not something that you want to do...if she is truly your friend she should understand...especially since you are her second choice...good luck
2007-07-16 16:11:04 · answer #5 · answered by daisyflower 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just be in the wedding maybe she was afraid the other girl would have gotten upset if not asked and she knew that you wouldn't and that you was a true friend no matter what i would still do it to support her
2007-07-16 16:34:26 · answer #6 · answered by cool mom 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you've known her for 10 years you ought to know what to say to her to begin with, but if it was me I'd just tell her the truth, sorry, I can't do it, it's too short a notice.
2007-07-16 16:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd tell her that it hurts your feelings only to be considered as a back up and you don't feel comfortable being in her wedding under those conditions.
2007-07-16 16:08:54 · answer #8 · answered by MB-n-KC 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Being a replacement bridesmaid... I personally would accept if she was a good friend of mine because everyone makes mistakes...
she would have to pay for my dress though, that would be the makeup for sloppy seconds!
2007-07-16 16:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Its your call do what feels right But I wouldnt let A friend down I would go If I was the first or the last one asked
2007-07-16 16:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋