I started dating a guy who seems almost too good to be true. He's everything i ever wanted in a boyfriend, but i don't have butterflies. I don't feel any spark. I'm not really atttracted to him. I'm not sure if there's chemistry. And I don't feel extra happy when i'm with him. He, on the other hand, really likes me, so i'm confused. Should i continue to date him and just give it time, or just break it off while we're not too deep?
2007-07-16 15:27:36 · 11 answers · asked by Melanie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am also very shy and it might just be because he's my first boyfriend and I didn't know what to expect. Could my shyness have anything to do with the problem? I'm 17...
2007-07-16 16:12:18 · update #1
Honestly? You found a really good friend. I don't care if you are 14 or 80, butterflies are necessary. I mean, there are always good friends who end up dating, but if you aren't even happy around him, it's hard to imagine. Even when I ended up dating friends, it was because I ALWAYS wanted to be around them. I started out being happy to be around them, and it slowly grew, until WHAM!...I needed to see if there was more. But if you have no kindling, you aren't going to set a log on fire.
And chemistry is a whole other matter. We secrete phermones, which we are not aware of...this is where the chemistry comes in. They come out even MORE when we are excited to be around someone. No butterflies, no fire, no chemistry. Each one of those are what is known as, "a deal-breaker"...that's ONE thing that you can't get past when having a relationship. You have three.
But here's another question for you...have you EVER felt butterflies for a guy? If not, then maybe your wiring hasn't turned on yet. Either way, you need to break this off before he is truly crushed by this whole experience. It's going to hurt both of you...if you continue. Good luck sweetheart, I hope you can find the spark somewhere...Kes
As far as your shyness goes...shyness causes MORE butterflies, not less. It kind of goes with the shyness territory. I hope that you didn't come on here to get the answer you wanted to hear, rather than the truth as we see it...
2007-07-16 15:42:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would give it time. Did you have that spark when you first met him? If not, why are you dating him in the first place? You don't always need the spark, especially when dating for a while. The spark should probably be there at first, but if it was never there, then I don't know... If you still like him but there's no spark, I would definitely give him time. If you feel it's just going on as a friendship sort of thing, break up with him, but still be friends. :)
Best of luck.
2007-07-16 22:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by shtinkynoodles 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need a guy that gives you butterflies, even once in a while. theres no chemistry if you dont have any butterflies, and maybe he is too good to be true. i think you should give it some time and break it off just in time, before he falls too hard or when you lose interest.
2007-07-16 22:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by smile like you mean it :] 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, so where is it written that both of you have to have the exact same feelings for each other in order to continue dating?
Besides the world is full of happily married couples who started off the same way as you.
I'm not suggesting that you stay with him until you finally get butterfies, but what's the rush to end it?
Just don't get pregnant, or move in together until you are sure that he's the one. :-)
2007-07-16 22:35:12 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Butterflies only need to be there if YOU feel you need them...if you feel them for other people and not the guy you are with that could be a problem in the future...
2007-07-16 22:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by jam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is not to good to be true if you are not even attracted to him. Break it off soon. You both deserve butterflies at least sometimes.
2007-07-16 22:33:30 · answer #6 · answered by T I 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't play with him... If you don't like being around him, if you don't look forward to seeing him, or get happy when he calls then don't brake his heart. Because you will sooner or later. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean getting a guy who fits the characteristics you like... if he doesn't mean anything emotionally to you.
2007-07-16 22:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Butterflies are puppy love, but if you're not attracted to him, then he's not for you.
2007-07-16 22:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it some more time.
2007-07-16 22:30:44 · answer #9 · answered by Niceguy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
take it casual and just have fun don't commit to anything yet
2007-07-16 22:30:38 · answer #10 · answered by RoseyRevisited 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋