Bad 1 1/2 year old boy?

Question

My baby boy, who is 1 1/2 years olds, has been acting bad lately. He understands the word 'stop' and 'no', and would obey in the past. Lately, when I tell him these words, he rebels and does what I don't want him to do. My mother says he is too young for spankings or poppings on the hand, but I am so frustrated that I don't know how to discipline him! We can't even take him to restaurants anymore because he yells and squirms everywhere. How can we handle this? What forms of discipline should I consider and is it normal for a baby this age to act like this?

Answer 1

Welcome to the club. It's just him being a normal toddler. The best thing you can do for him, is to try and help him understand his sorroundings. Things are going on in their head all the time, and they are just overwhelmed with images and information. Try to simplify things as much as possible, and try not to be the cause of any anxiety, even though you might feel like screaming sometimes, it will only make things more out of control for your toddler. He will grow out of it though, just hang in there!!

Answer 2

He is 3-1/2, you are the adult. Somehow, you need to figure out how to stay in control without hitting, screaming, or losing your mind. The best thing I did for my kids and myself was a college course called "Positive Guidance." He is old enough to be evaluated by the local school system to make sure his development is on track. Call the elementary school where he would attend Kindergarten when he is ready and ask about their program to evaluate preschoolers. Spanking is not the answer. The reason we all know that is because we were spanked and for some of us, it was horrid. In this day and time, anyone can call CPS on you for little or no reason. The child is getting attention from you and he knows it. He doesn't care it's negative attention, he's just found a way to get under your skin. You, the father and this child need to have a meeting with the pediatrician and from there, a child psychologist. Someone needs to get to the root of this child's anger before he does some serious damage, or before you hurt him. Drugs could have been a problem when you first got him, but not now. Have either of you smoked and quit recently? We've seen kids of smokers that go through withdrawal while at preschool because they are used to second hand smoke at home. I remember being told I'd be doing those children a favor if I sent them to their bookbags and told them to inhale the smokey smell in it from their homes. I've never done this, but I can understand it. Believe it or not, even though you don't do sugar, there are many, many allergens in the foods we eat everyday that we don't even think about. Find a pediatrician that will take you seriously. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

First, you are obviously a new mother and maybe this is your first child? You have to realize that he is only a year and a half. He is a baby! Cut the child some slack. If you think he is so "bad" now just wait until he is three. They go through so many phases and you haven't seen half of them yet. He is not too young for a tap on the hand. You have to start teaching him right from wrong now or he will be running your life. He is at the prime age of not wanting to sit still in a high chair. They want to run and explore. Every child is different though. We have five children 13, 10, 6, 5, 2 and they have all done it. He is totally normal. Don't ever say he is "bad". He is a baby and that's what they do. Remember what you said, "Babies require a lot of patience and care"?

Answer 4

Your mother is right, don't spank him.

I would reccomend NOT saying "no" or "stop". At 18 months, there is so much he can't do, it works much better if you tell him what he CAN DO.

For example:

"Touch the cat nicely"
"keep your hands to yourself"
"Say nice words"
"Teeth are for biting food"

If he misbehaves in public, like in a restaurant, take him outside and talk to him there, or do a time-out. Time-outs should typically be 1 minute for every year old of the child, so he can have a 1 1/2 minute time-out. When you're done, walk calmly back into the restaurant with him.

He needs to know that you're in control and while he will be treated with respect, he can not be in charge.

Answer 5

First of all, this is totally normal. And you will struggle with this for the next couple of years, so strap on your mental seatbelt and get ready for a ride.

First off, don't think of it as your boy being bad. He is a child, he does not know how is supposed to act. It is your job, as his mother to teach him! First off, you cannot expect him to sit still in a restaurant if he does not do it at home. We were having this problem with Maya, so I changed how I did things.

I began taking Maya to restaurants everyday for lunch. We went places where it wasn't a big deal if she struggled. I corrected everytime she did something wrong, sweetly. I praise everything she did right (if she sat still couple of minutes, I came around the table and gave er a big hug and told her how wonderful she was behaving) I also changed her bedtime routine to where she went to bed directly after dinner.

If she tried to climb out of her high chair, or wanted to misbehave at the dinner table at home, then she would be put to bed immediately. You would be amazed at how quickly her behavior changed.

Also, we used to spank her, my mom spanked me, and until a couple of months ago I was a big advocate of spanking. But I finally just decided that it wasn't worth it. The more upset she got, the more upset I got, even it I was acting calm and cool, inside I was fuming and she knew it.

So, be calm. Now if she will not sit, I just tell her to sit, then physically make her. If she gets up again I say, "I know my big girl knows better" and set her down again. With this no yelling, no spanking, loving approach, I finally have the child of my dreams. We haven't had a single crying spell for 4 months or so, and for a 2 year old, that is pretty darn good.

Answer 6

I have a boy a little older than yours. I feel your pain. Mine does the same thing(deliberately doing what I told him not to).
My best advice: Be consistent, consistent, consistent!! For my son "time-outs" have been working. It's hard, but try to always do it the same way, in the same place, and talk to him about what he was doing wrong using the same language. At least for now, my son will start to do something he isn't supposed to and will look to me to see if I will say something. All I say is "If you do that you will get a time out." He usually stops, usually:)
Personally, I don't think spanking does anything to help the situation(not that I haven't had the urge). Toddlers need to be taught good behavior, and hitting is not good behavior.
All your son is doing is trying to figure out his limits. Be consistent with what those limits are and he WILL learn right from wrong. Hang in there, they do call this age "the terrible twos" a reason(even though it starts way before age 2).

Good luck.

Answer 7

I think that he is not to young for spankings or pops on the hands he will learn eventually that u mean buisness. Also if u do not belive in spankings try time-outs. As for in resturants u can take him out to the car if he starts to misbehave or bring stuff for him to do while in the reastrunt like coloring books.

Answer 8

Yes, its normal. Any toddler knows what "no" is, that doesn't mean they always care. He's old enough for a good crack on the *** when he does something that puts him or anyone else in danger. Time out for everything else, two minutes at the most. And be ready to take him home each and every time he misbehaves in public, even if that means putting off the shopping till later or making sandwiches for dinner.

Answer 9

totally normal, he is growing and will challenge what you want him to do. Just be firm, keep saying no, and don't give in. It will get rough for a while (I think 18 months is harder then th "terrible twos"), but you can do it. And yes, an 18 month old is too young to be spanked. Try to never start it, you will be happy you did!!

As for going out, you may just have to stop it for awhile. Its too much to expect a 18 month old to sit for a hour or more to have a meal.

Answer 10

Yes it is normal for him to be acting like that. My Daughter did the same thing.And no he's not to young to be popped on the hand or for spankings. He's almost 2 it's the "terrible two's" kicking in.Good Luck with everything if you have any farther question you can email me @ [e-mail]
GOD BLESS