my boyfriend's ex.........PLEASE help....?

Question

well.my bf and i have been together for 3 months,and we are really in love.he'd had a girlfriend before,and they have been together a year and a half,and they broke up a year before he and i met.he has told me how i was the first girl he loved after her,and how he loves me more than he loved her,and he loved her very much(he said that himself).they are seeing each other very rarely(once in few months),.anyway,i was with him few days ago when we met her and set with her,and he asked me do you mind me talking to her,i havent seen her in a long time and i said no(although i did) and she imediatly held out her arm so he could screch her and he didnt,but then they were like hitting each other and laughing and i dont know,and i mean it was obvious that there is still some kind of affection between them.after that he told me i dont love her,i love you, and he asked me if i minded him meeting with her for a coffee.i am so worried,i know he loves me but still...

i mean,he is only 18,very emotional,and she was his first love,they were together so long....i dont know what to think...i know he is honest when he says he loves me,but there is still something between them,and i dont know what it is,nor how serious(for him) it is.....i dont know what to do....

p.s. sorry its so long and for spelling mistakes and thanks....

Answer 1

If you are not comfortable with him seeing her, especially alone, even if its just for coffee, TELL HIM. You can't on one hand say "Its OK" while thinking "I don't want you to".
He is not a mind reader, so sit him down and tell him. It will not help your relationship if he thinks he's doing the right thing, and you feel he's not. This results in misunderstandings ands resentment building up. And it won't do you any good to say later on that he should have known how you felt. If you can't talk about the tough things, then you don't have much of a relationship.

Answer 2

there is a difference between sex partners and friends. In this case, i would trust him from what he has told you. there are different people in the world who are able to break up with a sex partner and still be friends. her intentions may differ from his but, he has been there and done that. in a situation like that, sometimes you may have to bite your tongue but, if he is in love with you more than her then, you are doing something right and have nothing to worry about. this will improve your relationship and make it stronger. me and my girlfriend/babymama have a trusting relationship with each other and i trust her to the fullest extent now more than ever. we also have had it tough with one another. take it from someone who knows about trust as well, me and her have cheated on each other but, learned to work things out. give it some time and the mistrust will pass and you will see. if it boils down to it and he cheats on you with his ex then, he is not worth your time. hope for the best expect the worst. goodluck.

Answer 3

Well, if he has just caught up with her then I don't see why he needs to have a coffee with her as well. It sounds as if they have unfinished business, the best thing for you to do is tell him that his needing to have a coffee with her makes you feel uncomfortable, ask him why he needs to when he's only just seen her. Turn things around to him, so he has to answer your questions, if there is no valid reason then he will see how silly he's being in jeapodising your relationship with him.

Answer 4

When someone loves you, he needs to respect you. He has no business seeing her while with you. If that relationship meant so much to him he should be with her and not with you. Tell him that from now on you don't want to know anything any more about her and that when you're around you need respect. If he wants to talk to her, he should do it on his on time, not yours. If you ever go anywhere and you see him giving attention to her and not you, you should get up and walk away.

Answer 5

I am so glad I seen this question! Girl I had the same exact problem with my ex. I can't stand them type of b**ches. They know yall happy, but wanna flirt and sh*t. Anyway gul, don't even sweat it cause BELIEVE me if he wanted to be with that female, he would be with her. But he not, he with you. As long as his attitudes not changing towards you, you shouldn't even feed into it right now. But when that happens, you should start getting suspicious. Until then don't worry about that sh*t!!!!!.... Hope my advice helps.......

Answer 6

Yeah this one sounds border line. You shouldn't be nasty at the girl but be straight up with her and tell her "Look you can be friends with my boyfriend all you want but please don't kiss him or flirt with him." Just try not to be to jealous and also if your boyfriend really loves you then he would stay with you and only be friends with this girl.
Another option you have is to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel about his one ex. Hope I helped and good luck with everything.

Answer 7

He needs to choose between her or you. If you are okay with them being friends than fine but if you are not than if he loves you he will keep his contact with her at the level you are comfortable with.

Answer 8

does he know how you feel about it? he might be taking advantage of your understanding nature.let him know exactly how you feel about him meeting an ex whom he declares shamelessly that he loves. watch out he doesnt use you as a back-up plan

dont give him ultimutams, yet, but ask him firmly yet gently, to set his priorities straight.

Answer 9

dont let him have coffee with her bc if they were flirting when you met her then they're gunna flirt over coffee too but theyre gunna flirt even more because ur not there! he obviously still likes her, but likes u too. if ur not careful eought hell cheat on u with her!
good luck!

Answer 10

first, it was rude to blow you off just to talk with her.how would he like it if you did that withonr of your ex's.and say no to coffee, there's no reason.whats the point of having coffee, cant he have coffee with you?