I live in utah, and most of them are mormons, why do they assume that just because i am married now i have to get knocked up all of a sudden? Is it just Utah or does everyone have this problem when they get married? What should I say to them to make them stop asking?
2007-07-16 14:00:43 · 18 answers · asked by Daria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
by the way, we have been married 2 years next month, but have no plans of having any time kids soon.
2007-07-16 14:23:44 · update #1
Everybody faces this problem once they get married. More religious and conservative societies will start asking "pregnant yet?" two weeks after the wedding. More liberal families and friends will give the newlyweds breathing room---but only for a maximum of 2 years! My friends, siblings, and cousins are all recently married and all have expressed annoyance over the constant barrage of baby questions.
Don't ever feel ashamed for wanting to wait. When answering these rude personal questions, keep your head up with an amused half-smile on your face to show them that A. You are right when it comes to your life, not them and B. their close-mindedness doesn't intimidate you, it just makes you laugh.
And when these family and friends ask, "So just when ARE you two going to get to making a family?" all you have to say simply is, "When we are ready." Now, if they are anything like my family or community, they will keep running their mouth and say, "When will that be?" and all you have to do is repeat, "when we are ready." And don't forget your pride! This will surely shut them up. If they STILL don't shut their mouths, stare at them like you can't believe how dense they are and excuse yourself from the room/grocery aisle/pew/sidewalk.
2007-07-16 14:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's just Utah...I think it's everywhere. People assume that if two people are married, they MUST want to have children and will have them as soon as possible. I've been married two years (today is our anniversary actually!) and I swear, I'm not making this up, someone seriously asked us not even a week after we were married when we were going to start having children. Last week, I was telling a coworker that our 2 year anniversary was coming up and she said "well you'll be having babies soon." While it doesn't really bother me because we do want kids (we're waiting too), it is kind of a personal question to be asking someone, especially if the person asking doesn't know you very well. Hope this helps.
2007-07-16 15:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by Angelia 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell them that you will get pregnant when you, your husband and God decide it's the right time. Also let them know that starting a family is something that is between you and your husband and no one else.
Don't let anyone try to pressure you into starting a family until you are ready. Take some time to have some 'alone' time with your hubby and get yourselves established as a couple before you decide to add a baby to the mix.
Don't feel bad for not starting a family right away or for telling other people that it's really none of their business.
While I understand that most of those around you are Mormon, it doesn't give them the right to pressure you into starting a family. We each have our own beliefs and our own system of values.
Best of luck to you!
2007-07-16 14:09:45 · answer #3 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left Utah at 18... couldn't stand being there, so I understand. Just tell them: "I don't want to talk about it". Don't let them draw you in... they will try. Play this over and over as a broken record. If you don't say anything else and only this one phrase, it works. It takes a while, but they will get the point and eventually leave you alone. And it has the value of increase your privacy.
2007-07-16 14:06:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a psycho! Yep, you've def got urself a stalker. I agree with the 1st person who answered, hurt her feelings, obviously nothing else works. I'd make sure when you tell her to back off that your hubby was there tho, just as a witness, incase she turns psychotic and starts to spread lies etc. I'd change phone numbers, unless your phone let's you block certain people. Tell her your sorry for her situation, but she needs to get professional help, you have your own problems to worry about, that you are finding the constant following/phoning too full on and that she needs to back off. From then on id be polite (cool but polite) but firm, close your door & lock it, close the damn curtains if you have to, when she rings tell her your busy & please do not phone back, then hang up, unplug the phone if you have to. Unfortunately I think harsh and direct will be the only thing she understands. Keep us updated, good luck!
2016-05-19 21:54:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say let them keep on asking you will get pregnant when YOUR ready. Yeah it happens to people of other faiths too. They think as soon as your married then oh its time for babies. But usually newlyweds want to be experience and get used to married life before they start having kids. So it might take a few years for that to happen. Just smile when people ask its NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!
2007-07-16 14:05:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it is only in Utah, but my advice would be to just politely say that you are not ready to have children at this time. You are still very young and have plenty of years ahead to decide when you are ready to expand your family.
2007-07-16 14:06:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter what their reasons are. One thing for sure, don't become a mother because your husband wants to become a father. Two, tell your friends that when you are ready to become a mother, then and only then will you have your baby. Also explain to them that they had their reasons for having their children and allow you your reason for the same thing. In the end if they cant handle your answer, that just TOUGH! but remember stay strong, its your life and not theirs, and that's what counts!
2007-07-16 14:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by rechsteiner1986 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Dear;
I hate to say it, but in this situation is all about you and your partner. If you guys feel happy without adding a new member to the family, why listen to the world. From my prospective and personal opinion, enjoy all you can with your husband. It gets pretty tough when babies starts coming.
2007-07-16 14:10:41 · answer #9 · answered by lilia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell them that it is a personal matter. Something between "my husband and I' that we don't want to discuss with the rest of the world.
It will only be the 2 of you once, so, please don't rush into have kids. Enjoy your time together, and, at 21- find out who you really are first!
2007-07-16 14:06:05 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋