What to do when you feel like a failure?? and have no family to turn to??

Question

When my mom died 2 years ago in a car accident, I feel like i am alone in this world. Since I have no other family -father, sibblings, and other relatives to turn to, I get very lonely-especially during the sad times.

I remained in school after her death and will be entering my senior year in college in fall. I also working to go to graduate school-because I want to make my mom proud.

Whenever I feel sad, I usually tried to tackle them and keep on moving. But at certain times it just feels so hard. I miss my mom so much, and i feel so lonely. I am feeling like I am starting loosing my strenght or exhausting the strengths I have. please give me some advises, I dont know what to do?

Please give advise..

Answer 1

No easy answer, but you may not be getting enough rest. Take some time out. Do a lot of thinking by your self. Do some reading. Learn why you do things... (That is quite hard) and learn what you truly value. Learn what is truly important. Set some milestones that you know you can meet. You probably have goals, but they are big ones. Go for small steps. Reward yourself when you succeed. Most of all, find the good in you, and make it grow. Do nice things for people. Doing things for others is a good way to get back your strength. Go for walks in the sun in the park. The sun for some reason can be magical. Set aside time for you and nothing else. All these things are trite and little, but you sound like you are wearing yourself out. And if you have no support troops such as family, you have to build your own with friends. I found that one or two close friends rather than lots of shallow ones can help, and we became life long friends. They are always there for me and I am always there for thing. Luck and love.

Answer 2

Yes you miss her and you will continue to miss her but who do you think is at your side telling you to continue to press on, who do you think will be in the front row at graduation? Your Mother's presence is in you and she is and will continue to walk with you, hold tight all the things that make you - you, which are a reflection of your Mom. Make your Mom proud, throw away the depression, forget family if they aren't the positive reinforcement you need. Talk to your Mom (if only in your head), I bet the answers will fascinate you. I hope I am not creeping you out but as a Mom, I know that should I have to leave this earth and if there is any way I could still be - within my children, that I would be. Angels do walk the earth. I will keep you in prayer and I know you will go far, go get um girl, show that family who and what you are made of. God Bless.

Answer 3

There are many positive answers here. I can only add that, your Mom is always with you, you are not alone. You carry your mother with you in so many ways, you can hear her if you listen. Don't be afraid to be lonely, stop and look around you, your still here! Just do the best you can and your Mom will be proud of you regardless. Life can be hard, its a fact. Get busy when you feel sad...keep on going, you can do it!!

Answer 4

First, you need rest and to start eating right. Next, I would suggest somesort fo a grief support group. I say group, because you'll meet other people who truly understand your sadness. When checking them out, ask the question "Is this group for people who have RECENTLY lost someone?" You want to make sure it's not that kind of group. Most groups are free. Your campus may even have a direction to point you in. If possible, see if you can find a group that has fellow students. That would help even more.
You say you want to make your Mom proud, going to graduate school. Is this want YOU want for YOURSELF? Are you going for the right reasons, rather than the reason "It's expected (or would have been) of me"?
I don't know your belief system. I'm not an active church going person. I do believe in God and Heaven and all that. I'm the 3rd of 4 kids. The second oldest, my sister, died in 1998 of Ovarian Cancer when she was 38. She was 5 years older than me. I believe with ALL my heart, she is around me, watching over me. I believe your Mom is already very proud of you.
The best thing you can do? Take care of yourself, physically and emotionally, know your Mom is already proud of you, be proud of yourself!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

You are definitely not a failure. You are a brave, unique person and I commend you for going on with your life in the right way, after the loss of your Mom.

Go to the nearest nursing home. Ask the nurses for name of a patient who doesn't have family, doesn't have visitors. Start going to see him or her every week, taking along a little gift, or maybe some flowers.

Loneliness should be shared with other lonely people. There are lot of people out there who haven't a soul to care. A visit, a little gift, a smile and a hug....and you will be repaid a thousandfold!

Answer 6

You know that what you are feeling for your Mom, no one will be able to comprehend how deep the feeling of losing a Loved one is, and I know that it is going to take a while for you to at least feel like Life is fair for others and not for you. But we may never know the reason why God takes some Loved ones before us, maybe he had his reason why he wanted your Mom with him. I know how you feel I too, Lost my oldest Grandson, at the age of 23, he had laid his plans on to what he wanted to do with his Life, he was majoring in Becoming an Engineer, but his Life was cut short when a miscarriage of Justice, I am only going to say this as to not go into too much details of his death. So, I know how it is to lose a Loved one when you least expected it to happen. But I know you are young and there is a bright future for you, keep on with your studies, because you would not gain anything in being alone, and having thoughts of what you are going to do now. If there is any consolation, I am more than sure that your Mom, is looking out for you, and she will never leave your side, just have faith in God and you will be able to endure all of this that is happening to you. I care, Take care of yourself.

Answer 7

Your still mourning over your mothers death. And thats fine. It takes differnt amount of time for differnt people to mourn over a persons death. Whenever you feel sad just go somewhere you feel most comfertable and think of all the good times that you had with your mom. It's the best medicine for this. Just keep your head up and things will get better yes you will still miss her but the pain will lessen but will still be there.

Answer 8

You do have the strength. You've been proving it over and over with what you've accomplished so far since your mom died. Honestly, what I think you need to do is get involved in something that helps others. Don't ask me why I get this feeling, but I think you would do well volunteering in a youth centre. I think that working with some children would be just what you need. I think it would help give you some spark, energy and a new appreciation for life! Give it a try and good luck!

Answer 9

This is so hard for you...I can feel it in your words. I can offer the advise but you have to be comitted in dealing with this situation.

It's hard losing a parent and being that you have no one else to turn to, sounds as if you need some interactions with others. You are throwing yourself into school and once you lose focus on school, your mind drifts and you become scared and you feel the loneliness creeping in. You have to learn to deal with this loss and move forward in your life to find happiness.

Answer 10

well you cant let that take you down you can talk to some friends because you they are there for you or talk to some neighbors or people from the past it might help when i feel something like that i listen to music sometimes i listen to where'd you go by fort minor i listen to it a couple times then i feel better or i watch some funny videos and i heard that chocolate makes you happier plus i like eating it cuz it tastes soo good so yeah i hope it helps