I have a great bf who I have been with for over a year. We love eachother to death and plan to get married. We both want to wait until we are married to have sex, but sometimes we get carried away. I want to be on birth control "just in case". But I don't want him to think I am saying it is okay for us to have sex now. Is it okay to take it but not tell him?
2007-07-16 13:12:29 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would not lie to him if he asked, I just mean is it okay to not tell him.
2007-07-16 13:23:37 · update #1
Don't tell him. My husband and I wanted to wait until marriage also. He specifically told me NOT to tell him when I did start birth control (soon before we got married, cause it takes awhile to kick in, y'know?) because it would cause him to let his guard down. He said that even if he controls himself cause he doesn't want to get me pregnant rather than out of self will, at least he's controlling himself. Do your boyfriend a favor and let him think, up until you say I do, that having sex would be a very bad idea. Another tip to help you wait, DON'T keep track of when you could or could not get pregnant. Assume there's 100% chance you will. Good luck with waiting! It's DEFINITELY worth it! :)
2007-07-16 13:17:11 · answer #1 · answered by HollywoodHousewife♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be up front about it. I mean many women today take birth control to regulate menstural cycles. Just tell him that you are taking it as a precaution, because that is what it is. And he should understand that because, after all he is the one you are getting carried away with. I'm sure he has to be aware of this too. And he should think that its good thinking on your part. To not tell him would make it seem like a bad thing.
2007-07-16 20:17:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
wow,, thats a difficult question. on the one hand you are doing the responsible thing by being prepared just in case. On the other hand you arent being honest with him. in my experience with relationships, big lies and deception start with little white lies that you are just trying not to hurt their feelings cuz you think its not a big deal. by you asking if its being dishonest i think you already know the answer to this one. The first line of your question said you have a great bf. If he is great then he will be understanding and probably happy that you are being responsible unlike most women. Make your relationship stronger and show him you trust him by being honest before he finds out for himself. Good luck
2007-07-16 20:22:14 · answer #3 · answered by paul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell my boyfriend and we don't have sex. I am honest with him. I was on it before I met him though to regulate my period. I have since went off because 3 doctors have told me to. I am 39. You can tell him but tell him you want to remain strong in your faith to not have sex. Tell him it is not a ticket for sex. See the pros and cons to birth control before you decide to take it, if you haven't already. I was told it causes strokes and it could be the reason for my ocular migraines. I went off of it. I had been on it for many years.
2007-07-16 20:17:32 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well normally I would say you should share these kind of these with your future hubbybut, I sympathize with your reasoning behind to keep it secret. I would say that it would be fine to keep this a secret for now. At least your chances for a child you are not prepared for are lessened. You have strong and good morals do your best to stick by them and good luck to both of you in your relationship and life:)
2007-07-16 20:18:55 · answer #5 · answered by Steven M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should tell him that you are taking birth control. you say that things get carried away i think you should, to be on the safe side. if he try to push you tell him that you are not ready, and you just want to be safe.
2007-07-16 20:24:30 · answer #6 · answered by Twylite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, id think so.. but you really should wait until you're married to have sex.. let god be first in your life, and your bf second.. then you won't get so "carried away".. but if you're going to do it anyways...i think you should be on birth control..whether you tell him or not.. if he asks, don't lie.... but if he don't ask.. i'd keep it to myself*
2007-07-16 20:17:51 · answer #7 · answered by mr.t0m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look out for yourself, He may wake up tomorrow and decide he doesn't love you anymore then what? self-preservation is the key now a days Love does hurt! Be safe!
2007-07-16 20:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by Chocolate1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A white lie can snowball into a deal-breaker. Honesty to start; honesty throughout.
I understand your point. Don't decieve your man. Talk it over with him. If he is truly your partner, he'll get on board.
2007-07-16 20:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think that is alright.
You're just doing it in case, but if you tell him you are, he may very well take it as "it doesn't matter as much", and he might try to use it to his advantage once things get intimate.
Also~ I really respect the decision to wait, kudos from me for what it's worth.
2007-07-16 20:17:00 · answer #10 · answered by Smurf 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋