I don't know if I should take my son to see his fathr so that h knows he has a father or what? I havent been with my son't father since he was born, we live 1 hr away and he' s only seen his son once partyly because he ws in jail the first 3 mos of his sons life..no it's not for drugs or anything serious but he keeps driving and getting pulled over VERY IRRESPONSIBLE. So he got out and I kickd him to the curb bcause he is irresponsible but when he was here that week he took care of him ,changed him bather him everything a dad should do. So the last 5 mos he hasn't had a job so couldn't afford to drive down here to see his son...he'd call me twice a week to ask about his son,he recent' got a job and has no problem whatsoever of giving me money. Goes back to jail for driving again. He still is immature but claims he loves his son...what should I do? Plezzz help
2007-07-16 12:20:34 · 7 answers · asked by Marina G 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You should take him BUT let him know he needs to make time (and save money) because the next visit will be up to him. If he doesn't come around it will be on his conscience and not yours.
2007-07-16 12:44:40 · answer #1 · answered by ??? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to disagree- must be because I'm older and have seen much more. I don't agree that a child HAS to have a relationship with the person who contributed to his being born if that person doesn't behave in the best interest of the child. Just because someone was there at conception doesn't make him- or her- a worthy parent. Contrary to some people's believe, kids actually do much better in a single parent home if it is loving and stable than to have 2 parents who are irresponsible or fight, etc.
I was raised with a dad who was a great provider and everyone outside the home loved him, but he was a lousy father and not too great a husband either. I would have rather he not been around- and this was a LONG time ago! My ex is also a good guy, but a lousy dad (he's better now that the kids are all grown up, and bad with the young grandkids now) and husband- although we stayed together for 21 years. Two of my 3 grandchildren are being raised withoout their "dads" present- thank god- and the third grandchild has a dolt for a dad. Sorry, there aren't that many worthy fathers around. try to find good male role models- your dad, maybe? and forget about your loser boyfriend/husband. Take time to get over him and decide what you really want in a relationship and as a father for your child. Then, be very, very picky- don't be needy- you don't NEED anyone! Good luck
2007-07-16 21:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by nanny411 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is is some situation. I would say that the father does have the right to see his son. If you think in your heart that he should, then maybe you can arrange supervised visitations. You can be with him for a few hours at the park or McDonalds once a week and build up from there. If he truly wants to see his son he will make whatever neccesary arrangments to see his son. You didn't say how old your child is, but if he is asking you need to not prevent them from seeing each other because if you do in the end your kid will blame you for withholding him from his dad.
As far as the dad, you can't control his behavior but you can tell him that if he doesn't get his stuff together he won't be able to see his son alone. Maturity does not come with age but with the acceptance of responsibility. I don't think this guy has matured any.
2007-07-17 10:52:33 · answer #3 · answered by marie v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should take a visit there. Just take your son for a couple hours but dont let him stay there since you claim that hes irresponsible. A couple visits wont hurt, after all, he is the father and your son deserves to see him.
2007-07-16 19:30:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still your sons father, he has a right to see him whether he's irresponsible or not. Take him for a visit.
2007-07-16 20:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by jaytei 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like he is a good person.. so if you do have the time.. let them see eachother. but since he is irresponsible.. dont leave them alone.. if he wants to do something, go with... but dont take them away from eachother.
2007-07-16 20:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by tired. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u call him a father? i notice u didnt call him a daddy. good job. tell him 2 grow up and then he can c him!!!!
2007-07-16 19:36:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋