what can you do if you feel your being persecuted by people and being denied the happiness and life you want?

Question

plus im 30, i have borderline personality disorder, ive endured an immense amount of abuse & victimization in my life.
is it normal if youve had a history of being victimized abused and bullied throughout your life to feel like your being persecuted by people & the system now?

i get very depressed, i live alone, get very lonely, ive never been employed or had relashionships...ie: a girlfriend.
worse thing is, i have dreams and ambitions i dont no how to reach in life...i want to emigrate from the uk, find a new life, find a loving partner......
but i feel like im being prevented from achieving those dreams and im being persecuted by society or ' the system'.....& i dont no how to fight it..
im waiting for therapy, but because my problems are so entrenched, im wondering can it really help me....i feel so angry, negative & self destructive...and im finding it hard to battle against, the inner rage...i feel as though people have made me this way & ruined my life, ruined how i think

about life and people...screwed up my thinking....
im prematurley aging to to top it all off.....and i dont no if i can find a way back from all this, when people have put so much anger in me, and screwed up my thinking.....

now...its like my persecutors are happy with the end result, which is? my destroyed life

i feel my kind of suffering, takes suffering to a new level, excedes all others suffering, puts me in a catogory all by myself, seperate from others..and im jaw clenchingly angry over it.

Answer 1

wow, how incredibly overwhelming. it's exhausting to even read about the things you're perceiving from others today.

Your past is your past. Some people never let it go. For you, i would recommend you to get on an SSRI or high-dose anti-depressant. No amount of talk therapy usually works for the borderline personality. In addition to meds, I would look for a DBT counsellor -(Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) - this kind of therapy is created specifically for borderline and other personality disorders. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you are just blaming others for the wrong moves that you made in your life.
This is a classic cause of people your age coming down with depression.
Your answer to helping yourself (and only you can do it) is to judge yourself honestly. Think back to all the bad things that has happened in the past and identify if you could have prevented them from happening if you had...
(1) Listened to your parents
(2) behaved at school and took more interest in learning
(3) Do you have a problem with being told what to do

Even if most of your problems were not caused by you...You and only you can still make something of your life.
Stop sitting down and feeling sorry for yourself...
Get out there and learn a trade...Then find a job and make some money.

Use the system in a positive way, it can help you to achieve your goals....Then the world will be your oyster. You will feel better and when you feel good about yourself, you will attract others who will want to be friends with you.
Good luck

Answer 3

What you can do - without some therapy - and I strongly suggest the therapy - you sound as if you are almost overwhelmed and therapy would be very helpful in your situation. In the meantime - think about setting yourself some goals - day by day - hour by hour even. Realize that while you may feel you have been persecuted in the past - you CAN control how you respond to it.

Choose every day to do the best you can - regardless of anyone's persecution or perceived persecution of you. It's like being angry about being blind. You can be angry all you want - but in the end, you are still blind. Being angry just compounds your issues. So, in your case. fretting about it will only make it worse.

Read book, "Night". Basically, you can be as happy as you make up your mind to be if you can only find a purpose. The author survived the Nazi death camps (true and utter persecution) and noticed that those who found a reason to hang on - did okay, during and after brutal and total persecution.

Answer 4

why don't you try & get a job as (I mean this nicely, I know things don't always come out right when online) although folks moan about work it does kind of give your life a sense of purpose (I say this because I'm not working at the mo & feel like I am wasting my life) it's also a good opportunity to meet people - loads of people meet their other halves at work .....

alternatively, the volunteer idea is a good one or go off travelling for a break from the routine you're obviously hating & another good way to meet people ...

If these suggestions are just no good then give the therapy a try or go to a Dr, if you are suffering from bad depression it might be worth discussing medication just to try & get yourself out of the rut your in & your life back on track

Good luck & I hope your situation improves in the near future

Answer 5

People can break or make a life of a certain individual. Life may be hard on some of us but the thing is how we accept reality and how we help ourself overcome certain situations. There are things in life which we cannot have, don't despair, don't lose hope. Always remember there are reasons behind this things. Pray a lot and ask for God's guidance. Seek his help in all the things that is happening in your life. Release your anger and learn to forgive those who have sinned against you. Do not keep records of the wrongs other have against you, instead accept everything and pray for them. Thank God for every good and bad things that happened in your life for it happen for a reason. Always bear in mind that everything in this world is temporary, you may be feeling bad now but in God's perfect time everything will be fine.

Answer 6

I agree with farrio1, you can change your life & you have that power within you right now to achieve that..
I have been abused & victimised beyond belief, to the extent that people I have never before have gotten very personal with me & violated my boundaries & to me it has been like an emotional rape.I'm sorry to use that word but it's the truth..I also feel they have ruined my life, taken my self-power & made accusations at me & things which are just beyond belief..
but I don't call myself a victim, that makes me feel as a slave at the hands of such people, I think a more truthful description would be I've been a target of the hatred of some j***....(sorry for the use of bad language)

anyways, I have decided to fight for my life the best I know how, that's why like farrio1 said, start reading such books & another one is You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay,(you can get it on amazon) I promise if you put in the mental effort, you willsee how your life changes for the better..I know it works..
I don't think you have low self worth, that is not true, I feel you have been through alot & when there's with no-one there for us to turn to, it can be tough..
to me, frm my own experience, I think (I apologise to say this) you're feeling despair & feel powerless to change things but this is not the truth, it's an illusion that your mind tells & makes you believe as the truth..you have every power to change things right now if you choose to believe.
If it's ok with you, I'll email you a really powerful prayer for despair which has helped me so much.please don't give up, you're a wonderful person & you deserve the best in life...
just accept that things are sometimes not as we wish them to be, but it will better if we allow it to.
Life is like a deck of cards, sometimes we're dealt a bad hand (well, many times in my case!), but it's not what cards we have but how we play !

xxxxGigi

Answer 7

I live in the UK as well and your right there is so much stigma around borderline personality disorder its unreal. I have bipolar and borderline, I am totally open about being bipolar but will not tell anyone about the borderline. You know there is even stigma in the mental health system if your borderline. They see us as untreatable and I am sure you must have seen this in your time. But trust me DBT (Dialectical behavioral therapy) is a blood miracle for us and really really can help. I hate the stupid waiting lists we have to wait for everything and so much more so if its anything to do with mental health. the gov just does not give a Sh*t about mental health. link is below for more on the therapy that will help.

Answer 8

It's real easy.....stop. At some point in your life you learned that playing the victim gets you the attention you feel you deserve, and you've never learned to take responsibility for how your own life turned out. Case in point: half the responses on this page are just reassuring you that you're ok and that its not your fault, bad things happen to good people, etc. Squeaky wheel gets the grease, eh? Whiny (not to be mean, but lets face it, that's what you're doing) people get affection. Most people will stop to help a wounded man, that goes for mental wounds as well. Look around, I promise there are people who have endured worse "abuse and victimization" than you have, and turned out differently. Stop blaming everything else for who you are and how you feel, and own up to your own decisions. The "system" is not out to get you, in fact depending on what "system" you're referring to they're probably out to help you. A real solution would be to get outside of your own head, stop thinking about how awful your life is and go help someone else. Do some volunteer work, visit the elderly in a home, ANYTHING to get your mind off yourself. You're not really that important until you are positively affecting other lives, and when you start to do that you won't focus on yourself so much anyway.

Answer 9

I wish you good luck. I'm finding it an uphill battle everyday. No one seems to understand except others who have it. And yes, it can feel like you are being persecuted, because people treat you like your illness not as a person. I know. Been there done that. I suffer from chronic pain and I haven't really had a doctor listen to the fact that I can't sleep properly. They all just blame it on my being depressed. When I mention that I have been diagnosed as having BPD, health care professionals seem to just sigh and shake their heads. This aside, I did get lucky once and a psychiatrist suggested a book that helped me out a lot. I told him that I seemed to be over-sensitive to things around me. The book he suggested was called "The Highly Sensitive Person", by Elaine Aron, phd. Turns out that a lot of the symptoms for being highly sensitive are the same as having Borderline Personality Disorder. You might want to check out that book. It gave me a really good perspective on myself. As for all the negative in your life... just try to use it to put a positive spin on things. It's hard, but it helps. And please try to remember, the world isn't out to get you... it just feels that way, because it misunderstands you. Good luck!

Answer 10

They have not screwed up your life and the anger is there because you are still in touch with a part of yourself that wants to change your life. Sometimes when people are jealous they do spiteful hateful things to make you feel bad because they are full of self hate themselves so need to find someone to scapegoat. When it comes to professionals they learn by what we as patients teach them otherwise they continue to treat you/us like cattle so find your voice when you feel this way and do not let them put everything down to you disorder. my heart goes out to you and just believe that you will gain all that you need and trust that there are good people out there who can support and help you without making you feel like crap..My start in life was also rubbish and i spent many long years feeling angry and suicidal. See if you can push for the counselling. Please do not believe that your life is ruined, because the only person who can do that is you, and i sense that deep down you are not ready to give up and let stupid spiteful hurtful people take anymore from you. stay strong. and breath it does get better just takes longer then you expect.