Do you spank your kids in public?...please read details?

Question

I'm asking this because i hate the fact that if your kids misbehave like in a store they stare at you like you can't control them but if your spanking your child in the store people also stare like your being so dang mean to them, so i'm at a loss at what to do?...can i get in trouble for spanking them in public?...i haven't been much of the spanking type, and now my kids are out of control so time out and taking things away doesn't work but a firm spank on the bottom gets there attention but i feel like a aweful mom when i'm spanking them and everyones staring at me...and i feel aweful when there running all over the place not listening and i do nothing...so, what does everyone else here do/...i'm at a loss and wanting some opinions....thanks....

Answer 1

I'd only go as far as a single swat in the store. However I have always thought full spankings need to take place in privet. You can't get in trouble for spanking your children public or privet, it's just that if some crackpot calls the police, they will most likely say your beating the child. To avoid the whole mess, save spanking for a more privet setting.

Answer 2

Even where I live, in liberal California, it is legal to spank your child on the bottom with your hand as long as you do not leave marks. That being said, I think consistency and firmness are more important than the method, be it time out or spanking. You need to get your child's attention at home first. When he knows that you will follow through on your punishments, he will not push you in public. A certain look from my mother or being asked, "Do I have to take you home and spank you?" were all it took to settle me right down, because I knew she would do it.

With smaller children, such as toddlers, the key is keeping them occupied and having a routine. Try to use the same store each time. Give your child something to hold or a special task to do. Ask him what each item is as you place it in the cart and ask him if it's yummy. You can't reason with small children, so outsmart them.

Answer 3

1 Yes I have 2 little boys ages 5 and 3 2 Yes I was spanked by my parents and grandmama 3 Yelling, threats & some spanking from mother, yelling and scary violence from father, grounding 4 All spanking made me humiliated and furious but the more calm punishment of my grandmamas was not as bad because she was not as angry. but the out of control violence & other kinds of hitting was far more disturbing. I learned to "unfocus" and go away somewhere inside my mind. As an adult it made me have a hard time dealing with anger, my own and other peoples. Maybe that avoidance is part of the reason I became a heroin addict. (which I have quit now 8 yrs ago), but who knows, I'm not a psychologist and don't want to blame others for my mistakes. 5 It made me terrified of acting the same way. I have only spanked a few times one swat when my son was doing something dangerous like trying to run in a busy street. We use mostly time outs, loss of privileges & informing them of what consequences (good or bad) of behavior (good or bad) will be. And we make sure to follow through & maintain a united parental front. Kids are different in what works, my younger son is less wild than his brother and has never needed to be spanked .... though his dad has threatened it & started counting a few times....

Answer 4

About one year ago, you stated in a question that you didn't spank your kids. What happened to change your mind?

If you really feel like an awful mom when you're doing it then it will be better you use other punishments.

For instance,when kids misbehave in a store you just tell them that at home they won't get TV or games for all day, then it's up to them. But you must keep your word if they don't obey, that's the hardest part.

Answer 5

I am unable to spank my children in public. I don't know why. Unless there is one of those "my daughter just ran into the middle of the street" situations, I don't spank. I'm not a big spanker just to get their attention, or get them to behave anyway. I find it doesn't' really work.

But I will say, finding another method, though a pain in the butt, usually works much better. The other day my 4 year old tried to "steal" a candy baby bottle (what will they come up with next?) from beside the check out aisle. I made her put it back where she found it and I made her go up to the self check-out over seer and explain that she was trying to steal from his store. And he was such a good kid, he played along and told her about why we have rules, and what happens when you steal from a store. I think that, and not the spanking that she may have inccured at home, worked really well.
But I understand the shame you feel when you need to spank a butt in public.

Answer 6

Ya know...its one of those " You cant win for loosing " situations....no matter what you do people will always look at you like you are doing something wrong...I believe in spanking....Will I spank my child in public? Probably not I dont want one of those freaks that think any type of spanking is abuse to call the cops on me! It is sad when a person has to feel bad b/c they cant punish their child in public...it makes me sick...heck thats all they did in the old days....spankings...i was spanked and i turned out fine...but still their are the wiedos who feel its abuse...and Yes it can be taken outta hand and turn to abuse, but not most of the time! I do know what you are talking aobut though and it sucks b/c you have to worrry if some wierdo will turn me in.....hhhhmmmm....sorry about ranting...its not much help, but i do understand what you mean!

Answer 7

Do not spank your child in public...sadly, even if it is clearly not abusive, cameras, people, people with camera phones, etc. are watching and you will become the next topic on 20/20.

Children NEED to be disciplined. I would never condone being physically or verbally abusive to anybody, however, sometimes they need a few swats on the backside to really know you mean business. We got it growing up and we are fine. There is a difference between spanking and abusing, though. Never hit your child with anything other than your hand or anywhere other than their rump. Do not do so in public because it becomes every do-gooders business...even if it is a little spanking. I've seen people call just because the parent grabbed their kids arm and pulled them in a certain direction.

You DO need to show others though that you are not letting the behavior go unnoticed. Firmly talk to your child in public. Remove them from the situation, look them in the eye, and let them know that you want their behavior to stop. Now. If you need to, whisper to your child what the consequenses will be at home if the behavior doesn't stop. Then follow through when you get home. If you are consistant, then they will know you mean what you say and (hopefully) you will eventually only have to tell them once. Do not tell them that if they don't stop whining they will get a spanking at home and then end up stopping for ice cream on the way home. Waiting until you are home also ensures that you will not spank in anger. You will have time to cool off and really talk to your child about his/her behavior and when they behave like that, undesirable things happen.

My kids are very well behaved in public because I ALWAYS follow through-since they were little-with my intended consequenses. After a few times of this, they knew that I was for real and learned to stop after the first time.

Answer 8

IF you spank in public, you run the risk of some over zealous individual calling Child Protective Services...my SUGGESTION would be----if a child is acting up, REMOVE THE CHILD IMMEDIATELY from the premises---in a store? LEAVE whatever you have in a cart and take the child out IMMEDIATELY----get him to your car, make him SIT there until he either calms down OR take him home immediately and put him on what is called a NAUGHTY spot.... any place in your home (a bottom stair, a chair in the cornor, whatever) where you can keep an eye on him and tell him EXACTLY why he is in the naughty spot and make him sit there for a few minutes----1-3 minutes if he is under 3 years old, 4-6 minutes if he is between 4 and 6 and increase the time with the age......when it is time to remove him from the "naughty spot", ask him again to tell you why he was punished... if he can't remember, tell him again to get it into his head... next time he goes anywhere and he acts up, do the EXACT SAME THING---nothing becomes a learned behavior (good OR BAD) without consistency...

Answer 9

my daughter is four and she never needed a spanking....my older 3 needed spankings every 10 min. i wouldnt spank the kids in public....i would wait and spank them at home....let them know that when they act up on public they will be getting it when they get home....spanking in public makes it uncomfortablefor everyone....thats why people stare....if the kids are that bad dont take them anywhere anymore until they can act right....they will get tired of being left behind. I spent many a night at home and missing functions because i knew my boys would act up. And rather than ruin everyones time we stayed behind......they eventually grew out of it as they seen the things they were missing out on because of their behavior.

Answer 10

Ok when my kids were younger I spanked them. Didn't really care where I was at if they needed it they got it. But now they are getting to old and to big to bust their butts in public. But they don't really need spankings as often as when they were little. People do stare but it is those same people who will call the cops and make snide comments when your child grows up and acts up a little. So I wouldn't worry to much about what other people think. There are laws out about certain types of discipline so you need to check the laws of your state but busting a child's butt for acting up never hurt anyone. As long as you don't get carried away.