this is kind of odd...?

Question

Im trying to teach my 1year old daughter the way I believe for now, when shes older she can pick her own thing, so...I guess what Im saying is, I believe that the spirit and the body are 2 separate things, and when someone dies, the spirit comes to 'walk' with the people it knew in bodily form but the body is given back to the earth and thanked. So, we went to a funeral on friday and about that last part, about the spirit and the body...thats how I wanted to convey it to her(of course shes too young yet but they say start little) and thats really the only thing I meant by the question, so, I asked her, "did you enjoy the funeral?".....and its.....so gosh dang strange.......I feel really weird about wording it that way and kind of guilty even, but.........can anyone help me explain to myself why that is? I mean, I feel bad about saying something like that, but then at a deeper level the question fit right in.how can I make something like that seem "right" or at least not strange or bad?

Answer 1

At her age, it may be a bit odd to ask if she enjoyed a funeral. But maybe not...depends on how advanced she it. I have heard 2-3 year olds in conversation, and I think to myself "that's a 5-6 year old!!" I think it's better to talk to them on a person-to-person level, not exactly as though they are adults, but certainly not in baby talk (well, not all the time, although I think they need a tiny little bit of "oochie koochie cute widdle baby" lol)

You're human, you will do things from time to time that will make you go "huh???" And I've found that things like funerals will especially bring out that tendency. The way you're teaching her, and asking her if she enjoyed it, sounds like good things that will make her unafraid of death. So don't sweat it ('don't sweat the small stuff'), just go on from here and make her the best most wonderful woman she can be!!

Answer 2

We human beings are of two parts. The first is the "accident" which is the physical being. The part you can see. The other is the "substance" or the core essence of what we are, the soul or spirit if you like.

The accident is mortal and will eventually fall away. The substance is eternal.

At the funeral, you helped bury the accident, returning it to the ground. You made your goodbyes and expressed your hopes that you would see the departed again someday. Remember, funerals are not for the dead, they don't care as they are no longer present. They are for the living.

What happens to the soul after death? That is a metaphysical question and the realm of religion. I do not beleive that the dead continue to walk the earth, but if that is your belief, share with your daughter why you hold it.

Answer 3

My goodness!!! When in doubt remain silent. I have never asked or been asked "how I enjoyed the funeral"? I don't think that question would fit in. The Bible says we are suppose to cry at a birth and be joy full at a funeral.

I don't think I would try to explain anything about a funeral to a one year old. They just don't have life nailed down yet. IF she ask a question, answer her with a very simple, down to earth answer. Don't go into details. All parents want to think their child is overly smart and understands all. They do not. Pops

Answer 4

I am not sure enjoy would be the right word
but I have commented in the past with " wasn't that a lovely send off "
these things can be lovely , and I have had some lovely times at funerals
meeting family and friends who I havent seen in years , chatting about the deceased , having a little laugh , lightening things up
and that's ok
we all feel differently about these things
I dont like to feel sad at funerals , I want to celebrate their life
you do it your way , your child will understand what you mean

Answer 5

A one-year-old doesn't know anything about this. She really doesn't understand language at all yet, except for a few words she needs for her own comfort, like food and bed-time. Forget trying to explain anything to her.

When she's old enough to have any comprehension, like four or five maybe, there are books for children about death. There's one called "The Next Place," or something like that, and one called "The Fall of Freddie Leaf" which are not religious, but are spiritual.

Answer 6

I don't think there is anything wrong with your question. If a funeral is a celebration of that person's life, I think it's great if the service was enjoyable.

When my Father died, it was very painful but it was nice to hear the wonderful things about his life. I know that he's in a much better place so it's something to be joyous about.

I would love to know that people enjoyed my funeral. (Hopefully, not because they are happy that I'm gone though!)

Answer 7

You are teaching a one year old,the earth is full of dead people walking,and the dirt is happy to have their bodies.
One is too young to teach,and you need a doctor you will traumatize this child for life,I am a adult and would be in terror if I thought the earth wants me back,and dead people are bumping into us.

Answer 8

Honey, it is not what's on the exterior that counts. in the event that they like to look at you and say you're a freak or a slut, then enable them to. there is genuinely not something you're able to do approximately that. yet, you're able to do some thing. Be your self, be superb to human beings, deal alongside with your classmates with comprehend. in short, manage everybody the variety you will prefer to be dealt with. in the beginning up, that's going to be stressful which you may try this, yet as quickly as all of them see which you're an exceptionally superb individual, issues will replace. elementary. they are the phonies. purely be your self, save on with what i've got advised you and you will understand what it means to "be authentic to your self." save your self self assurance extreme, and a grin on your face. you would be the winner in the tip. better of success. dangle in there.

Answer 9

Have you ever been to a New Orleans funeral? It's a party celebrating the life of the individual. Death is a part of life and I think by treating the whole thing as such, you did quite well with your daughter.

Answer 10

Wait til she's old enough to at least understand what a funeral is..I know they start young but don't burden her with that..let her be a child.