Heres the "scoop" I am 20 and pregnant. My mom and mother in law are throwing the babyshower- my mom and stepmom never got along and never will, my mom will not invite my stepmom to the shower and she is throwing a fit and blaming it on me. She told everyone on my dad's side not to show because she's not invited, and now none of them are coming- not even my own Grandma! and to make things worse my dad won't even talk to me about it- he just says that I need to stick up to my mom- I've tried it doesn't work. Well yesterday my dad called my 2 sisters over for dinner with my grandma and nobody ever called me, I had to find out from my mom that my sisters went there! I feel like they don't even want me apart of the family anymore- what should I do? I thinks it's ridicilous and that she should just get over it! I have already told her that it's not me and that its my mom.
2007-07-16 08:57:22 · 23 answers · asked by jennifer h 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your family is being stupid. They know your mother is throwing the baby shower and that she invited/didnt invite everyone on the list. If they cant see that you have more problems than this. Just wait it out and see what happens. If they dont show you can always tell your dad off, see how he likes that and tell him to pass on it on since you really dont want to see anyone who was thoughtless enough not to come because your mom and stepmom dont get along
2007-07-16 09:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by dave n 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell everyone your going to do without having a baby shower. tell your mom you still want to be a part of the family and try to spend sometime with her alone. when you get some money ask her to go shopping with you because you want to know what she thinks about the things you buy. then she'll let every know how you spent time together and that should hopefully bring you back closer to family. sit your mom down and tell her to listen before she says anything and tell her how you feel about this and how you feel left out and explain to her how the rest of the family is reacting to you because of her. tell her your kid needs to be in everybodies life as one big family and not just hers. if she does not approve then tell her maybe she does not need to be apart of the babies life at all, because of all the hatred she has in her. Later on you can tell the dad and stepmom exactly what you told your mom. if you would rather choose your mom over the whole other family then give her a list of everything you need and see how she reacts and then you could tell her if it were not for her attitude the whole family would be around. she might get mad but a mothers love will never go away. as a matter of fact after you have did all this ask her to be the bigger person and and make amends with the stepmom. let her know that you don't want your baby growing up not knowing the rest of the family because of the way she feels about the stepmom, its not fare to you or your kid.
2007-07-16 16:11:32 · answer #2 · answered by My two cents 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you have been put in the middle of a situation that didn't arise by you. The parents should be adult enough to put all of this behind them for the sake of you and the new baby on the way. There are going to be many times when they will have to endure each others company, the child will have many birthdays, and Christmas's, school functions. I would put your foot down to your mother that this is absurd the way she is acting and the shower will be moved to a mutual place if she isn't willing to grow up and deal with the situation with a better attitude. I have a similiar family and they all get along because they want to be in the child's life. I am so thankful and you will be too once you tell them all how you feel about the situation.
2007-07-16 16:03:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are pregnant and should NOT be dealing with bullshit - especially from people who are supposed to love you the most. Your grandma's completely in the wrong for taking your stepmom's side over her own blood - you. And I would tell her that. Tell everyone how you feel. They all are putting everything on your shoulders and its not fair. Stick up to them, not your mom. They are all acting like a bunch of children, and I feel very sorry that you have to go through that during what should be such a happy time in your life.
2007-07-16 16:06:52 · answer #4 · answered by Aubs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If possible (and I know it's probably a long shot) I would suggest that you get everyone together in one room and talk things out. Maybe you could invite your mother, father, step-mom and sisters all over to the house for dinner (without telling any of them that anyone else but them is invited).
Then when they all get there, you could tell them about how all the fighting between them is hurtful to you because you feel as though you're being made to choose between family members. Remind them that you're not asking them to all become best friends with each other, but that you would like it if they could all just get along and be civil with each other, for the sake of your unborn child, who'll have nothing to do with their hatred towards each other.
2007-07-16 16:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
being a mom, a mother-in-law and a grandmother i can see their side. but.... it should be all about YOU not them. first off your mom should show you some respect and invite your step mother. or if not, have a separate baby shower for the "others". you should let EVERYONE know that you will not tolerate any more of this behaviour. your pregnancy show be a time of peace for you. if you are having these kind of problems now it will only be worst after your baby is born. Also your step mom needs to be told that it is not about her it is about YOU. Good luck.
2007-07-16 16:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by elliemay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom is giving the baby shower, then you can't invite your step mom any way. If you mom's money is paying for the shower then that wouldn't fly (that would have been my first suggestion).
My second suggestion is to invite your step mom out for lunch or something, just the two of you. Explain things to her exactly the way that you've explained them here. Just pour your heart out. If I were your step mom, I would say that it's fine, we'll have our own personal baby shower for you. It would be nice for everyone to celebrate together but if that's not possible, maybe you can celebrate separately. It's worth a try.
2007-07-16 16:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is ridiculous, your entire family is behaving like idiots. This is about you and the baby you are carrying. Tell your mother you will pass on the baby shower if she is going to act so childish. As for your your father and step mother they are the biggest losers in this mess. Tell them if its such a huge ordeal that step mom isn't invited, they should have a separate shower for you. You should not be dealing with this circus while you are pregnant.
2007-07-16 16:08:26 · answer #8 · answered by jlaurentaylor2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom needs to grow up and realize the your stepmom is a part of your life and should be invited to your shower regardless of her status in the family (through your moms eyes)
2007-07-16 16:11:23 · answer #9 · answered by To The Point 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u get them all in one room, and tell them how much the drama is affecting u and ur baby. and if they cant get along, then the shower is over. and that they need to get their S*** together if they want to be a part of the baby's life. you all are a family despite of what happen and that u need to act like it. they don't even have to talk to another just be there for u and the baby. that's it.
I'm sorry u have to go through this, but u need to step up to both sides and lay down the rules. its not ur fault, they need to stop acting like a bunch of 3 year olds and grow up.
2007-07-16 16:05:54 · answer #10 · answered by cuban cutie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋