ok, i have been "seeing" this guy for about 3 months. i really like him. he really likes me.
...i met this OTHER guy this weekend and he ended up asking me out and simply told me he was interested in me. but i told him, "you know, i don't want to play any games and you should know that i'm actually seeing someone." i elaborated, "i've only been seeing this guy for about 3 months, and he's not 'my boyfriend', but we are dating, you know?"
he responded, "what the hell's the matter with him? ...why won't he lock it up with you? ...he's stupid, that's why..."
so. yea. that's what that OTHER guy said about the guy i'm dating, that he's stupid.
and now it's kind of bothering me! ....what IS the matter with him?? ...why DOESN'T he "lock it up" with me and just say that i'm his "girlfriend"??
(oh, i think it is relevant to say that he is 34...and that i am 21... so. yea. that might have everything to do with it... but i'm hoping not.)
thanks for your advice!!
; D
2007-07-16 08:55:03 · 17 answers · asked by Catz Ladee 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well, IDK if anyone will even read this part... but, last night the "3-months guy" came over to my place and we had a really good time.
...then this morning i totally emailed him and just told him straight out: "i would LIKE to be able to introduce you as: '...this is my boyfriend...' and i would LIKE to meet your family, you know, not like this second, but some time soon..."
so.... we'll see what he responds...
*nervous-ness....*
2007-07-17 03:57:49 · update #1
maybe the guy already think you are his GF
2007-07-16 08:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by Mustng0021 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all do not go out with the guy who says that your boyfriend is stupid. He does not sound very respectful. Just because you do not agree with something does not make it stupid. He will probably call you that too if he gets the chance.
Second, guys that are this age are usually more serious about what they want in life. So it could be that he has not decided because you have not given him any positive signs that you are for real--in every way. Also as you fear, your age difference may be a factor, it its any help, i am 23 and my husband is thirty and we have been married for two years.
However, do not rule out the possibility that he may he just wants to play around - you should not be having sex with him if you are uncertain about him-that would not be wise.
Finally, the only way to find out is to sit down with him and have a serious talk about his intentions. If he cannot give you any positive feedback after this time then you should probably move on.
All the best
2007-07-16 16:06:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Five important tips for women.
1. It's important that a man helps out around the house, and has a good job.
2. It's important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It's important to find a man you can count on, and will never lie to you.
4. It's important that a man loves you passionately, and spoils you with expensive gifts.
5. It's very important that these four men don't know each other.
2007-07-16 16:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Miss I"m better than you, Being a little older perhaps he has gotten hurt in the past ! Or some guys just go a little slower ! The new guy may just be trying to score. Just honestly ask your boyfriend his plans and share yours. Marrige between a man and a woman is a noble thing !
2007-07-16 16:14:22 · answer #4 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going thru the same thing rite now. I dated this guy but after a month he broke up with me, syaing htat he was too busy with college but we would get back together in the summer. Well we've been seeing each other since may but he hasn't asked me out. Its frustrating i know!! but i think you should talk to the guy you're seeing and say hey, theres this guy that asked me out and even though i would prefer to date you, I can't wait around forever. so unless we're gonna date soon, i'm gonna try this other guy out wo actually wants to date me. this way, your 34 year-old may realize that you won't wait around forever and get the courage to date you. Good luck!!
2007-07-16 16:01:08 · answer #5 · answered by Daddysgirl16 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think several aphorisms are in order.
First, “when it rains, it pours.” Don’t you hate that?! How come relationships can’t come in a nice single file. When you finish one, “Next!”
Second, “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Just how serious is the new guy? You know you get along with guy one, but what about guy two? Is it just the newness that makes it so interesting? Will guy two drop you like a hot potato one millisecond after you tell guy one to take a hike?
After all that, I say give them the Princess Mia test: kiss them both and which ever one makes your leg float up is the one.
2007-07-16 17:38:07 · answer #6 · answered by keith_housand 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i gotta feeling age has got every thing to do with this. as you're young ( well. older than me), he probably thinks you're not used to a serious relationship. People usually go extremely steady at around 30 (his age), and maybe he feels you're not ready for it. Most marriages at your age are usually lust not love and end badly. im not saying ur getting married or anything, im just saying he might not think you want to take it to the next level (official BF GF, or move in or whatever).
Heres a thought, maybe he DOES call you his girlfriend (to his friends) but doesnt tell you because he doesnt know if you feel the same way. he might be thinking YOU dont want him to.
Try this, tell your friends and his friends (if you know them) that you're his GF. if he doesnt like it, break up. he's never going to come around and at some point he'll break up with YOU (and you wont like that cuz i know you'll want to say it. if you dont you wont be better than him).
The other guy you met, seems to like you, mainly because of the fact he doesnt like the way your 'BF' is 'treating' you. Go out somewhere with him, as friends, and dont do anything stupid( you know what i mean). If you BF gets pissed its best to leave him because firstly he's not officailly your boyfriend and secondly over protective BFs and husbands are really f*cking irritating. If he doesnt let you go out with a friend who 'happens' to be male, hes not worth it.
please dont COMPLETELY disregard my answer cuz im 13. sometimes kids can have a useful point of view on certain subjects.
2007-07-16 17:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by Rastafarianhobo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should ask the guy you've been "seeing" if he wants to see each other exclusively or not? If you want to elaborate on that say it just that you've been asked out by other guys but i want to go out you, but it depends what you want? If he says he wants to see you exclusively than great; your officially girlfriend and boyfriend. If not than your as free as a bee to see this other guy!!!
2007-07-16 16:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask the guy you're "seeing" if he has any intention of you two actually being TOGETHER. If he says no, then drop him and move on.
2007-07-16 16:00:06 · answer #9 · answered by BluhBluh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sleeping with the guy that won't "lock it up"? That's why he doesn't refer to you as his girlfriend. If you're not sleeping with him, I have no idea.
2007-07-16 15:59:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants hot sex with a black haired chick (judging from your avatar). Drop the loser and become a lesbian hippie!
2007-07-16 15:58:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋