Why is it that most guys can go on with their life without closure? I know that if something ends or doesn't work out I need to understand why or explain to the guy why. But why is it that guys just get up and go with no explanation?
2007-07-16 08:35:18 · 24 answers · asked by PoshBCD 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just dont get it I think with closure people can move on...its like I want closure don't get it when it ends but months later when I finally have that closure he wants to pop up out of nowhere and find out what if or explain and then try to work it out. I just think if we get closure or a understanding we can either move on or work things out now instead of later when I am ready to move on with my life.
2007-07-16 09:21:59 · update #1
...women can sometimes do this kinda stuff to some of us sensitive guys out here too darling....so don't think it's just "a man" or just "a woman" problem reasonably. It's truly not just simply a gender specific problem. Trust me...I know first hand that it's not! It's universal to wanna know what happened and what went wrong when someone dumps our lowly ashes off the bridge of love unnervingly and unwittingly. That's just simply a normal human reaction for all of us hun ...man or woman...that's all! I'd be ok with the idea to "be friends with my ex"....but her encumbered mind is now so conflicted that she's embarrassed to talk to me. Her problem...not mine. A therapist might be able to assist her though....OUCH!!! Certainly we men are not to be blamed for everything that goes wrong in a relationship with a woman....but we surely get hung out to dry more often then women do these days. Check the statistics lately. Women leave men right now...more often then the latter. Not my words or crap hun......national statistics crap though. I think more relationships are steeped in silly nonsense worrying anxiety more then ever before in our history. Just the facts ma'am....just simply our present times! What a shame too huh?.....e-mail me if you want more babe...I'm cooled off now anyways!
2007-07-16 09:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by scott s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all do. But, it could be because many guys don't view relationships the way girls do. When many guys are in a relationship, it's good. If that relationship gets wrecked, they move on and then get into another one. Then it's good once again. The individual relationship is good while it lasts but is not irreplaceable.
I think women invest more into the particular relationship, because that's just more according to the nature of a lot of women. They see the particular relationship as the be all and end all of all relationships. Their emotional investment is greater and therefore it's more difficult for them to cut loose from all those emotional ties. (Which really has a lot more to do with them and with their feeling and emotional needs than it necessarily does with the relationship. The closure is about restoring their own personal, emotional equilibrium more than anything.)
But again, there are plenty of exceptions to all this. I know plenty of guys who were devastated when their relationship ended and they never got any real closure. Some of them never moved on or recovered. And I've known girls who just go from guy to guy with no real interest in any lasting relationship. Closure wasn't an issue.
2007-07-16 08:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by Underground Man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is just a part of being male. Just like it is female to need that closure. You can't change it or even understand it. All you can do is accept it. Chances are, if you try to take the time to explain the "why" to him, he will be sitting there wondering what he is missing on SportCenter, and when he walks away when you are done, he will be sad -- sad about all the time that was just wasted when he could have been doing something more important.
Again -- that's just the way guys are. It is no reflection on you.
2007-07-16 08:41:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple put is that men and women are hard wired very differently, men generally do not have concern over the details - they see the issue and want an ending - we don't need the details. However, woman want to know and figure out every little detail and possible angle to each problem.
There is no reason to figure out what went wrong, but only that it is over and that is the end. All the details in the world won't change the outcome- just the feelings each of you may have.
2007-07-16 08:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by Just Life, Trying To Live It. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Often, closure is attained by bringing pain to other people. Your need to rehash the past or fully explain every excruciating detail is often a selfish behavior to ensure that you have closure. The other party may not feel the need to hear every reason why something occurred.
2007-07-16 08:39:15 · answer #5 · answered by chuckna21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy, but I believe guys are much more simple minded than women. I'm not saying they're stupid, they just don't go as in depth as women do when it comes to emotions and love and feelings. I imagine their are probably some who do, but most guys are able to just shrug it off and move on. I don't really understand it either. Like, for example, my husband and I were argueing over this.. my aunt died a month ago and my husband said that my uncle should suck it up and move on with his life. So, I asked him if I died, after a month would he just suck it up and get over it... and he said yes because there would be no reason to dwell on it for that long, he'd be sad, but he'd move on with his life. Which is just crazy in my mind (and quite hurtful... I actually cried after he said that to me and he had no idea why I was so hurt by it). Guys are mentally different than women.
2007-07-16 08:40:47 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Closure is much more simple for most guys. The relationship is over- case closed. Most guys prefer to keep things simple and "closure" is not a simple process so they tend to minmalize it and assume if it is over- it is closed.
2007-07-16 08:40:03 · answer #7 · answered by flamingojohn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that closure is another way of saying "too much information."
We are simple creatures, if you don't want to go out with us anymore, its cool. We don't really care why. We will move on.
2007-07-16 08:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by dancinggopher01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely because he didnt care in the first place, if he up and leaves without explaining, then he never cared enough to try to work it out, so there was obviously nothing there. But if he has tried resolving issues with you but you ignored it, then he didnt bother explaining why he was leaving. Thats why.
2007-07-16 08:42:04 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that we go on without closer. We just box it up and put somewhere in the back of our minds until later, much later. Women do it to. We're just usually better at hiding our emotions and feelings.
2007-07-16 08:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by me2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋